I just went out on a date with a guy from OKCupid. We had a 95% match. I wasn't planning on meeting anyone on there since I just had a break up but I couldn't resist. I was so nervous for some reason.

I'm sorry about your divorce... I personally would like to entertain the idea of being alone forever. My biggest fear is having heart break all over again. I really could not do this one more time :( it's just so sad when the person is gone

There was a huge write up on MSN a couple months ago, about how OKcupid doesn't actually do anything to "match" people...they create fake percentages.

https://storify.com/cbccommunity/okcupid

This link is not from MSN, but still talks about fake compatibility testing Okcupid uses

Congratulations on getting out there! I am also getting out of a long marriage and have been out of the dating scene the same amount of time as you. I have not yet had the courage to try online dating...I joined a singles group and a few other groups on meetup.com and that has been fun but has not resulted in any dates. So, I have no advice to offer, but I appreciate you sharing your experience and I wish you luck.

Justme, I read how he answered the questions and liked what I saw

Girl, I hear you. I was just saying that the compatibility thing can be misleading. I would also read the answers, as well.

I'm on the group of divorce after 20 years you should come join us....I don't belong to this group but maybe i should as there are others of us over in this group as well. I'm going to try this myself soon so I'm curious how this goes....really I would like to know which one is the best a lot of people met on match.com but I was thinking our time as I may weed out the old guys wanting 20 yr olds......like lets get that out of the way huh.....lol

I have used Match and other dating sites - the compatibility thing it's a gimmick - you can't determine with technology who compatible people will be, doesn't work that way.

Anyways, I will suggest your don't turn away from using dating sites but do not put too much work or time into them - don't be negative but don't expect too much either. Many of the people on dating sites have been on them for a while and have become chronic daters - don't want to scare you - only a heads up. Be careful, ask the right questions and take your time.

I will add to what Millie said and say that, not only do they become chronic daters, but per their own lousy online experiences, they can be very jaded and assume the worst about people as well.

I am new to this line of thinking what is a chronic dater?

A chronic dater is someone who has been dating for so long that they aren't really trying to become exclusive with anyone - they browse through pictures on these sites like they were shopping for items on Amazon.com. They start looking at people as options - and the volume is so high that they keep looking and talking to more and more thinking that the next one might be better and so forth.

Many say dating sites aren't a good place to meet ppl but unfortunately it's the shape the world has taken - you are either okay and learn to use them or wait for someone to shop up at your door - if you aren't comfortable with them, Meetup.com I hear is also a good tool - I used that as well but those groups have way more women than men in them. OkCupid and POF are the worst sites - they are free. Match it's somewhat better but in the end, is not the source, it's people in general and these days people SUK!

@milliejay - "way more women than men"? Gosh that's sounds awful... What sites are you referring to??

I've had good luck on match.com, I've been talking to someone and we've been on a date and planning the next one and get along great so far..it's been a great confidence boost and she's a great gal with a great career and work ethic and a home owner and is magnitudes above my ex in the conversation department so I'm encouraged..its helped me move on so I'm all for it.

#12 - I am referring to meetup.com. There are more women on it than men, at least in my area.

#13 - that's what I am talking about - we can't be against something, we have to try it and go from there - again, dating sites are just a tool and the one most commonly use these days - we are no longer meeting ppl at church, work, etc - if we don't use sites like match.com we are decreasing our chances. I just warn people to have thick skin and be cautious - but everything in life is about taking chances. So happy for you - : )

#12 - and is not necessarily a bad thing that meetup.com might have more ladies - but basically here's what I mean - for one, meetup.com isn't a dating site - it's a site to meet ppl w/similar interest - the goal is to pair up and enjoy some activities like hiking, art, etc. In my opinion this is excellent and I encourage ppl to try it - but what I mean - if someone is trying to date - the events held by them aren't arranged with that in mind - so say a lady joins a wine tasting, art, jazz event, there will be like 17 women vs 3 men - so that's what I meant. But overall we never know when we are going to meet that special someone so I say use meetup.com but not as your one and only source of dating search - hope this makes sense.