Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hello!
I'm new here to the Daily Strength community. Currently separated from my husband of 17 years (6 years married)- I have been with him since I was 15. 2020 was a rocky year for us to say the least...unfortunately he left to another state to help his family back in July due to unforseen circumstances, and we've had little to no contact since then.
He's given up on us, while I still have hope that someway, somehow we can make it. Fortunately we don't have kids, because I don't know what I would do if I had to factor them in. At this point, I'm going for broke and putting my pride aside to save us. I have respected his space, and only contact him when necessary- sheer will power I suppose.
I just want to know, how much pride are/would you be willing to put aside to save your marriage? And when would you officially throw in the towel? I just can't bare the thought of giving up until I've exhausted all options.
-M
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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Often times, when couples get together so young, you two at age 15, one or both of you grow up and grow apart. One of you wonders what else is out there, what have they missed out on, etc. It's nobody's fault. It just happens.
Your husband has become - familiar - to you. You have known him so long that you don't know any other life. It seems scary and unfamiliar to think of a life without this person. Even if they are not the right person for you anymore.
But the good news is, you are still a very young woman, and you have a whole life ahead of you.
It seems he does not want to work on the marriage, for whatever reason. It's nothing you did. It's not your fault. It's been since last July, 7 months he's gone now, so you might want to take steps toward moving on, rather than wasting time trying to figure out how to fix this.
It takes two people to make a relationship work. You just can't fix it by yourself
Do you have a therapist to talk to? Family, friends, church.... for support?
Thank you for the welcome, and your input. I have thought a lot about that as well, being 15 and he's all I've ever known. And we've been able to stand together through a lot of trials and tribulations, and now we're at another stage in our life (his dad passed) where there are even bigger obstacles to go through and somehow it tore us apart instead of bringing us together.
And you're right, it does take two to make a marriage work. And now that I have had this time apart from him, I have realized how many times he has been the one to hold us together. And I guess now that he is the one who has given up, it has made me realize how much he has time and time again put our relationship first. Hindsight is always 20/20 right?
As for family, fortunately I do have a steady support system. But it's hard to explain the heartbreak I'm feeling and it's very difficult for me to convey that to the people closest to me. I have been thinking of therapy to get some clarity out of all of this.
Thank you again!
I can relate to your struggle. Its hard to separate from a partner you've spent so many years with. You've got to answer some questions for yourself and therapy may be a good place to consider starting. Its wonderful that you have a support system, they can be the lifeline that you need to emotional get through this. I hope ultimately you and your husband find positive resolution that works for both of you.
You can not make the other person staying with you if he does not feel like that. No matter what you say, do or how much of your pride you putt aside...he won't come back just because you want him to. It does not mean he will never come back. It depends on what is his emotional state now and in what state of the mind he will be in the future. It depends on if he has a choice of being with some one else or not. Therapy won't help you to deal with your feelings. We, as humans, have to go through hard times at some points in life. Life is not a picnic. If you can function and go through your life despite this pain, you will respect and love yourself. Other people got along, you will adjust as well. Feel really sorry for you.
Thank you for sharing, I’m happy that you found us. I hope you will find comfort here.
I’m so sorry to hear this. You have mentioned that you want to consider counselling for some clarity. I agree, it will help you in many ways and if you can, try to encourage your husband to seek counselling as well. Most of my friends who had problems in their marriage, considered counselling from our Pastor and it helped their relationship to get better.
It would be great if you have someone to share your feelings with. Talk to other women that you can trust to journey with you. I pray that you will get the help you need for your marriage to stay strong, praying for you. Keep sharing, we are here for you. God bless.
I pray everyday for strength and guidance, and I pray for him too- for peace and happiness. This is the only thing that truly holds me together is knowing that there are bigger plans that what I can see now at this very moment.