I'm sorry that you are going through this. How long have you been married? Are there any children involved? Have you thought about seeking help through a professional counselor for both couples and individually?

Do you have a good support system? Family? Local church family? Local Pastor?

I understand the need to keep busy. One of the things that I did when this happened to me was writing in a daily journal. I wrote down everything that I was feeling. My anger, hurt, frustrations, etc. This helped me release some of the stress and it helped me to begin the healing process. I wrote daily, then weekly as time went on. It also became a success gauge. When I would read back through it, I could see just how far I had come.

It also helped me to volunteer. When I was helping others, it took the focus off of myself and what I was going through. It in turn not only helped others, but it helped me too.

You may want to try to resist the temptation to text him and contact him a lot. He needs to have his time to sort through all of this as you do. That's why it may be helpful to talk someone who is unbiased and will be able to give you the tools you need to work this challenge in your marriage.

If you do contact him, you would want to keep it simple and open. Like, I'm here if you would like to talk. Leave it there. Or ask him if he would consider meeting with a counselor as a couple?

Do you have any hobbies or are you a part of any local groups?

Take it one day at a time. Hang in there!

We have a toddler which we need to communicate about..married 7 years. I could write in my journal..my family and friends are no help they want me to kick him to the curve lol.

Have you ruled out couples counseling? We gotta love our families... :-) They only want what is best for us. Unfortunately, they do not always know what that is.

It takes two to make the marriage work. Keep the lines of communication open regarding your toddler. Seven years is a long investment in your marriage. Hopefully, he will want to try to work on the marriage and will consider a professional counselor to help.

Writing in your journal will help. I know it helped me. I also made a pros and cons list to see which list was longer. It helped me to see it in black & white.

This is a struggle between your heart and your head. It hurts. But, you need to decide what you want too. You will not be able to make a decision after a 2 week separation. You have 7 years and it is hard to throw all of that away.

Trust is one of the hardest challenges to over come in a marriage. It is hard, but, NOT impossible.

Take your time in making any serious decision regarding your marriage. You have nothing but time to work through all of this. Do you attend church anywhere? Or is there one local to you? They sometimes offer various classes that may be of interest to you.

Do you work outside of the home? I'm sure your toddler keeps you busy! If it is OK with you, I will add you to my prayer list for this week. I always figured I could use all of the help that I could get... :-)

Take Care!!

Thanks..I am all for working it out but when you have an emotional affair all emotions are taken from your spouse so now is like he can take it or leave it..all I want is to go back to before i don't want the hurt..the heartache. The limbo like state

Did you catch him doing this or did he come to you, confess, and he had guilt? This makes a difference in how you proceed. I have caught cheaters before, and therefore, they probably would have kept doing it if I hadn't caught them. The ones that come to you, feeling guilt and remorse, have a better chance at being fixed. I do agree with making an appointment with a marriage counselor. And, if by some chance he refuses to go, then YOU go to a counselor, just for you. This is not your fault. I guess he felt that he was missing something, something emotional. But how were you supposed to know this??? I take it he is not the best communicator. I believe this marriage can and will be fixed. Don't call or text him. Let him wonder what *you* are thinking and feeling. He doesn't need to know that right now. In the meanwhile, during these 2 weeks, call a friend who won't be judgemental. Go out! Go some place that he never wanted to go, whether it be a show, movie, museum, new restaurant, etc. Go shopping! :) Get a mani/pedi. Do something nice for you, because you deserve it and you need some pampering right now :)

I caught the difference in him one week in he told me right away

The limbo state is only limbo during the time that you are making your decision. Which way you want to move forward.

Have you talked to a counselor? Has there been any progress? Has he made a decision to try to reconcile the marriage?

Have you taken time to yourself?