Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So my husband admitted to me after years of going through the same roller coaster why he only has sex with me ONCE A MONTH! He told me he feels uncomfortable with having unprotected sex with me because he fears that he might get me pregnant and he doesn't want a kid with me because he knows our marriage is going to end up in divorce. I was shocked, had no idea he thought that way about me and our relationship! I can appreciate him not getting me pregnant considering we both agreed to not have a child but at the same time he is knowledgeable on pulling out and not getting me pregnant! We have been doing this the whole 6 years we have been together and it has worked! And in the beginning we had lots of sex, the last 3 years is when it has diminished and now I'm lucky to get it once a month! So I feel it is an excuse and at the same time I feel like he is treating me like some whore off the streets who is trying to hook him by having a child with him. I just really don't understand where and why and how he can think like this about me after six years! He told me he feels like we need to separate and divorce and I agreed but then he tells me he's not 110% sure that's what he wants. I swear he has lost his mind. Who tells you these crazy and hurtful things and then says they aren't 110% sure they want to break up?? I told him I think divorce is the best thing especially if that's how he views me and thinks about me!
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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It sounds from this, and your other post, that unfortunately, the marriage is over.
Do not wait on him to decide what is going to happen to YOUR life. He already said he wants to separate and divorce. You do not have to wait for him to make this happen. Tell him to move out. You go see a divorce attorney - ASAP. You need to make sure you get what is your half of the house, assets, bank accounts, everything that is rightfully and legally yours. Do not move out until you have consulted with an attorney.
Also, hope you are continuing with your therapy. You will get through this. You are strong.
Just one consultation. Just to get some information. Don't tell your husband that you are consulting with one.
I understand you are mad, and you have every right to be! But, don't regret it later, that you didn't see an attorney and get all that you have coming to you. Think about the future, and what you are going to need to live off of. You can't trust your husband to give you half, or even any of it. Especially if things are in "his" name.
You can do this. You are smart, strong. Best of luck to you!
If you are worried about getting pregnant from sex do you realize that there is really only a about 24 hours a cycle that you CAN get pregnant, but that sperm can survive for up to 5 days, so you still need a window of about 7-10 days (to be safe and depends on the woman) around those 24 hours. The rest of the 3weeks or so you can't get pregnant - that's just how ovulation and women's cycles work. Especially if you are relying on the imperfect withdrawal method (I recently had a little "scare" there, too), you really should about fertility awareness (aka Natural family planning). Look it up and read a book or take a class on how to use it. It's very empowering to know how your body works, and to know how to learn your body and keep track of your fertility - that puts YOU in control. I read in the responses that you are going through a difficult time right now, and divorce is enough to handle, but when things settle down a bit and you have a chance I encourage you to do something positive for yourself and take charge of your own fertility by learning more. You'll only know your own body better!!
In the meantime, stay strong these days. Try to move through the breakup with understanding and not be run by anger - anger just depletes our strength and too often works against us (and not always for fair reasons, like because of stereotypes about "angry women" for example.)