During my marriage I was lucky if it was once a week but more like 2-3 times a month, and a lot of resentment was built up on my side, I figured I could go everyday twice a day. Since I separated and found a gf, it was daily, but now I have sort of gone to the other side of things and am saying no, sometimes it feels like it is too much.

In my case the feeling of intimacy is not always there because it happens so often, and in those cases the sex seems very mechanical. I think a break of a few days between helps build the anticipation and the desire to be intimate with your partner.

Becareful what you ask for, you might just get it, and not like it, just like me.

In the beginning we had it regularly...but he was already a porn addict and a very anxious man (so to speak). All the focus was on him an I go nothing. It became a chore and when the internet expolded his intrest in me waned. I felt insecure an told him numerous times it was hurting me. When the kids came along I got no help ..his ring came off and I was overwhelmed with working full time doing the house and the kids almost all alone. Sex was very sporatic then.

I know he felt abandoned by me....I tried to adresse it on several occasions but he always got sulky and when I asked him to stop the porn he flatly told me NO!

I've never known the actions of a thoughful man...who wanted for me what he would have for himself. I'm terrified of the pervasiveness of porn....Its so hard for me to remain calm when a man even mentions he dabbles. But that's my baggage....Ugh...

Steven, I have always thought that!!

Not often enough for me, maybe 2-3 times a MONTH, twice a week would have been a whole lot better. I initiated (or tried to) a lot at first, but then stopped trying because the rejection hurt too much. SO it was only when HE wanted it, and I never refused, because I never knew when it would happen again. So sad, now that I think about it.

Intimacy is so important in a relationship, I think llke most women we want to have that emotional connection. I think that's why for me the affair hurt so bad, because sex meant more to me than just sex. Although 2-3x a week I think is pretty average, that's about what I was at in my marriage.

We were 3 to 5 times a week. Plus you have to throw the other woman in there too. I'm not sure how often they were having it.

I would have been in heaven!!! 1 amonth for us and we were married 34yrs..

Don't feel bad. I had it maybe once every 5 months! Maybe that's why my marriage failed. Ugh!

Twice a week isn't bad.

We had it maybe 2-3 times a week.

I know that's not a lot by some people's standards, but it's fine for me. Sex wasn't the issue for us.

This was a source of contention for us as well- except it was me who was getting turned down. Steven I hear you loud and clear!

I would have been happy with 3x a week- but it was more like 1 or less and only if I initiated it. That is unless I suggested we have sex on the balcony or something like that!

He too seemed to prefer the computer at a time- until I literally pulled the plug on his internet use! Talk about lessons learned. Man was I naive!

My ex and I started out in the marriage at 2 or more times a week, went to 2 times a month, to two times every six months. It was really bad and it left me very fustrated with her. She had the energy to constantly fuss at what I was doing wrong but she never took time to take care of me. She would complain that I asked for it too much.

i started writing about this and thinking it's an excuse a lot of men use and you know what, i realized that my ex-husband didn't want sex at all. one of the reasons i divorced him. there was no emotion or connection after so many years of marriage and my self-esteem took a dive. then my long term relationship with my bf was full of sex and as long as he got satisfied, he was all set, in the long run i realized he never cared if i got pleasured, hence i don't believe he really loved me, only out for himself. so i can't really comment on this subject at all. what i would like in my next relationship is two people who love each other and are in tune with each other, sex, inticmacy, feelings, touching, cuddling. hey, a girl can dream can't she.

Ok Steven, Soon and Bernie, what is a guys excuse for not doing it? Like I said my ex and I were together twice a month. I was dying. I'm not hypersexual but I do need the attention and affection. I've turned him down twice in the 7 years of marriage and 14 years of knowing one another. I could have the flu and still want to do it. Ok we could chalk it up to him not being attracted to me..ok let's go with that..But now he swears he was always attracted to me it was just that we argued too much...Yes we had times when I couldn't stand him and he couldn't stand me. But because he needed to be adored and fawned over all of the time.... how can I adore a person and not like them at the time. NOW, now he'd F--- me in a hurricane with the house spinning...so is he still not attracted to me?

Ok, sorry went off into a trantrum there for a min. My sex life is very important to me.

First husband - never had sex with him...no shit...short story.

Second husband - he was my first and we had sex everyday for 10 years...he lost me to alcoholism and drug addiction...long story

Third husband - everyday until he found out i wa carrying a boy then...he stopped...he didn't touch me for 2 + years....sad story.

I NEED A FOCKING HUG.

I can't answer that question for him JacJac, many reasons I would guess. Some people just don't want sex that often. Maybe it's because it's the chase that is exciting for him now. That has alot of allure for some men I know. I had a really good friend in university, good looking guy. Never had a relationship longer than 6 months. It seemed that all he wanted was the conquest and then bailed. He is still single today.