I feel like at any moment I could crumble into a million little pieces.

Feeling bad today for no particular reason. :-(

I feel guilty I didn't fulfill my promise to God to stay married forever.

I'm mad at STBX for not allowing me to keep that promise or even have a chance at it.

I'm sad my marriage and my husband were not what I thought they were.

I'm disappointed in myself for not seeing who he really was before I married him.

I'm regretful that I didn't go with my gut when I had a panic attack before the doors to the church opened for me to walk down the aisle.

I'm nervous that his lies will be what the tribunal takes for truth when the annulment is considered.

I'm angry that a cheating slut took my place in his family, that puts themselves out there to be good Christians. That I was ridiculed by them for standing up for myself.

I'm grateful to have found Fr. Simon and his positive outlook.

Scared about school starting in the fall. OK terrified. I have ONE shot through this, and I have to make it through, or I won't be able to keep the house.

Worried about conflicts with the kids school, and mine. Scared that I won't make it through because of that.

And mad as heck at myself for losing my car keys. I've been searching the house for days.

Scared about quitting work. (Have to because of school.) And not having enough money to make it through. I most likely do, but it scares me nonetheless.

So, all in all, stressing out like crazy here, and missing some of my old ds friends that used to talk me through this stuff.

Exactly what Deena said,

I feel that at any moment I could crumble to peices.

The last two weeks I have felt pretty good, had a great case of F-U-itis and this week for some reason I feel miserable and depressed, alone and scared and hurting like he left yesterday instead of 3 months ago. Everyone says I'll have these days every now and then and that they will pass. But man until they do, they suck!!!

I feel depressed, sad, hurt, rejected... sick, unable to eat well, unable to enjoy the small things I used to; I can't sleep, either. I feel angry at him for choosing something/someone else over me and not knowing what that is, because he won't tell me. I feel helpless, for my children. I feel the worst I have ever felt in my life. It is like the rest of the world keeps going and I am stopped in time. Sucker punched and unable to get back up.

Hello Rman. I am so sorry for your pain. I am still in a marriage that is horrible. I have been so scared of being alone and so co-dependant that I don't know how to get out. I just keep asking myself "what is it about his I am really going to miss?) His sense of humor? Nope- His kindness? Nope- His loving ways? NOPE!!! I am already alone I just haven't left yet. I hope you feel better and realize you are not alone. Chin up buddy.

i'm doing really really well lately. i think ive finally gone over the hill and on the downslide..but still pop in here once in awhile to help newbies

i read their stories just to remind MYSELF why i deserve better

same stories new ppl

My life is great actually. I have no complaints other than sometimes I get bored, but then I write or play FarmTown

I can totally relate. Sometimes I wonder which emotion to deal with. (((((Rman)))))).

What you are feeling is all to normal, and it will pass.... first thing is to STOP wondering if it was something that you are responsible for......all the why's, what if's, should have's, could have's, and would have's isn't going to change a damned thing other than to drive you flippin crazy...... you are doing what I did a while back....kind of skirting the self doubt with humor....it helps but dude you need to deal with it before you can truly heal....I am sure that none of us were perfect in our relationships, but we aren't the ones that flew the coup. She is the one not you..... it is way harder said than DUN but I have been there and DUN that....... in fact today is the first year antiversary...the gavel fell this day last year and I will tell you that it DOES get better....I haven't been this goos in decades...... Oh the divorce was her idea also......

pffft... thought you said you didn't care? Interesting.....

I feel stressed out and scared most of the time. I take on a lot of responsability, then start to buckle under the pressure. Falling asleep at night almost never happens. I finally fall asleep due to pure exhaustion. I worry aobut my kids, feel tons of sadness over what they have been through. Fear of the future tends to get me a lot.

Hi Kelly. How are you? Really I don't care...just like you *wink*