Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hello everyone, this is my very first support group I have joined. I am not sure how this works but I guess I am to seek advice. Well after reading a few messages I realize I just need to share my situation. Well, it's been about 3 weeks now since I've had any contact with my ex, I guess this is the right title seeing that we have spoken. He haven't officially broken up with me and it's the main reason I am confused about all of this. Three sundays back, we shared a few hours together by hanging out at my pool. When we got back to my place he took a shower and made an excuse about how his contacts was bothering him and that he needs to go home to exchange them and come back. At this point I believed him but after an hour passed by, I decided to text asking if he planned on coming back or no so I can prepare myself for either and he then said he couldn't put in his contact lenses because his eyes where hurting so bad. Of course I felt right a way he was lying to me. I tried calling him and he didn't pick up my call and then he had the nerve to text me back that he is having a family emergency and can't pick Up my call and he will call back. I have him time and he didn't even tried texting me or called me so I admit i went on rampage by calling his phone and texting him with no answer. Since then I haven't heard from him for a couple of days. Several days went by and he text me apologizing to me for how he has treated me in the past and how I am a good woman and how is not ready for marriage and he's the wrong person to have this dream With. Mind you, we have been together for 6 years in and off again with the last two years being more on. I never once asked or talked about us getting married but he knew deep down inside that's what I am hoping for but I never stressed him at all about it. After that text no more communication from him. It's very difficult on my end because I am confused and not sure what the hell
happened. Today I decided to text him and it wasn't good things but at this point i don't care because I am hurting and he seems not to care. Please help!
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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Did he respond to any of your texts you sent him today ?
If you have stuff at his place I would schedule a time to pick it up .
If he has stuff at your place give him so long to pick it up .
His.
You can text him something like this - "Please come pick up your clothes and (list his other belongings that are at your place), on August 2nd.. They are piled up by the front door and you have the key (also, please leave my key on the table) Otherwise, I will be throwing all of those things away on August 3rd. Also, please bring me my clothes back on this same date. Thank you."
And that's all you write. Make it almost business-like.
THEN you will hear from him! And, do it, too. Stick to your guns. If he thinks he can just disappear for 3 weeks, and ignore your calls and texts, then he can't expect you to just wait around. I have a feeling he met someone else. Sorry, but that's what I am guessing. So, tell him he can pick up his stuff on (this date) otherwise you are throwing it all out.
Don't beg or demand or send him texts about how much you are hurting. He knows all of this already and doesn't even care. He is making the choice to move on, but he is too chicken to even tell you to your face. Sending sad texts is understandable, but it only feeds his ego and he will actually get more annoyed. Even though that's not fair or right of him, but that is how he will feel.
Send that text about him picking up his stuff out of your place. YOU pick the date, don't leave the date up in the air. Be firm. The reason for doing this is he thinks you are sitting around waiting for him to come back. You can not make him think you are this weak woman who has no other life of her own. He will not respect you and he will do this again and again to you, if he came back.
You are a strong woman. You deserve to be with someone who is an "adult" and who can have real conversations about the relationship. Not some little boy who runs away and lies and can't handle a real relationship.
I'm sorry he is doing this. It hurts. You have questions. It's not fair. But it's good that you are not living with him. If he is choosing to be this way, then you choose not to take his behavior. You deserved an explanation and you deserve not to be ignored. What he is doing is crappy. You probably knew deep down that he was not The One. You have to move on with your life, as hard as it will be at first, but you can do it and you will feel a lot better soon.
Also, to help get past the pain right now, go on Amazon and search "break up books". They really do help. Also go on YouTube and search "how to get over a break up" for some free videos to watch. There are podcasts that help too. These things do help.
You're going to be okay. What he is doing is wrong.
Behind me
Little boys run away from responsibility. You need a real man.
I see that this has been off and on for 6 years. It's kind of like wasting your time, you know? Your precious years of your life. You already know he won't want marriage or even a serious relationship. He's just that way. He won't change. You can't change another person. So maybe it would be good for you to start looking for a real man. Who wants the same things in life that you want. Because it could take a year or two of dating to find the right guy, so maybe start looking around now. None of us are getting any younger :)
I understand wanting to cuss him out, but you are too good for that. It serves no purpose to cuss him out. He will probably feel more justified in his decision to disappear ("She's crazy!" "I don't want to text her, she will bite my head off."). So don't give him any satisfaction in his immature decision to run off.
What really helps a lot is writing in a journal/diary type of thing. Write out all of your feelings. Write anything and everything you feel about him and this whole relationship and the whole 6 years. Write write write. As often as you want. It really helps to get the feelings out of your head and on to paper. No one will ever see it, so write anything you want! When you feel like cursing him out, write it all down in a journal instead! I find journaling to really help me when I am mad, upset, sad, anxious, etc. I hope you will give it a try.
Call or text some girl friends or family and make plans to go out. Get out of the house. Go do stuff. Keep yourself busy. Go have fun! Sitting and thinking about him, or why is he doing this or that, is not helping. Call and talk with some girl friends. Take your mind off of this. Make plans to go do something fun, something that you enjoy and want to do.
You are going to be okay! Better than okay!