Update: the night after I let him go, he was at our house watching our daughter while I went out with a friend. When I got home that night, he tells me he gets so sad every time he looks at me.  He ended up kissing me and we had sex and then he says he's sorry and that shouldn't have happened and he left and went back to his parents house.  Today I found out that he lied and had this girls phone number in his phone under a guys name. I asked him about it and he lied and said he didn't have her number and when he knew he was caught he started lashing out on me, blaming me for snooping. He said he clearly ended it with me and I have no right to be checking up on him anymore.  By ending it he is referring to the details below in my original post. But the next night he comes and has sex with me  so I was a bit confused about what he wanted.  He is still on his parents cell phone bill and they looked at the account and said it's disgusting what he is doing with this girl as he is married to me. His dad wants to kick him out of their house. He stays up all night every night texting her.  And he lies to me repeatedly about it and lies about it in counseling. I'm done with him. I gave him so many chances to tell the truth and he didn't. And I know realize the guilt he feels isn't from not wanting our marriage. He knows he is wrong for his actions. And I am so angry at him. 

Original post: this has been the longest month of my life. My husband of 3 years said there is something wrong in our relationship and we needed to go to counseling. I agreed that we had been very distant for so long and felt positive that counseling was the right direction for us. The day after our first counseling session I discovered a conversation between him and a girl at work. In the conversation he is offering her support and telling her things about himself that he never told me after being together for 7 years. It was obvious he had shared a lot of very personal information about our relationship to this girl as well. I was devastated and when confronted he got extremely mad at me and told me he didn't want this marriage and left to stay at his parents house. The next day he told me that he thought about it, apologized and wanted to continue to work on our marriage. We have fought a lot the past couple weeks because I am so scared and hurt and I'm looking to get reassurance from him that he does love me and wants to make this work and he can't give it to me. He's been honest that he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. He insists nothing is going on with that girl and that she is just a friend and they barely talk now. I caught him in another lie today. He told me he was working late and would be picking up our daughter and coming home later. That was a lie. He left work in time and did something for an hour that he doesn't want me to know about. When confronted he got mad and sad he went to a bar alone for a drink because he needed time to himself. He said he couldn't tell me that because I would accuse him of going to the bar with someone. He got home with our daughter and was so mad at me he wouldn't talk. Then he started having a panic attack and broke down saying "I f'd up, I f'd up so badly, I ruined everything" I waited for a confession of some kind but nothing came. He said he doesn't want our marriage and he feels really bad because he knows I am trying and he doesn't have it in him to try. He seemed truly conflicted and guilty over this. It hurt me so much to see him that way. So I told him it was okay that he felt that way and that I'm letting him go and taking the pressure and weight off his shoulders. He cried and said he was sorry and that he wanted to love me and just can't bring himself to try. He hugged me and he left to go home to his parent's house where he has been staying the past week. He still says there is no one else.  He told me he doesn't love me anymore and wants to end our marriage, why wouldn't he just admit if there was someone else at this point? 

I'm heartbroken. Still holding out some hope that giving him time and space will make him want to come home to me and our daughter. We agreed to continue couples counseling to learn how to coparent and try to make this as healthy as possible moving forward. I think I'm still in denial that this is all happening. Does anyone think there is any chance that he could change his mind?