Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I went thru a divorce 4 years ago. I was married for 12 years. The final years were terrible with my ex wife. It was like two strangers living under the same roof. We separated when I found out she was seeing someone. She herself said she had no feelings for me at one point. I was the one that initiated the divorce. When preparing the papers she asked a couple times for us to meet in person to talk over the papers and I told her we didn't need to meet to be able to discuss them. It was a simple divorce, no children and no major assets.I had been so wiped out from all that had happened that I was trying to do what was best for me. The divorce was finalized. Ever since thru out this 4 year period my ex-wife continued to send me text msgs every other month where she would ask questions about things that anyone could have answered. She struggled a few times with bills as she had been in a car accident and I sent some money to help. Shortly after we divorced I became involved with someone who is a wonderful person. We had been friends for years and she lived in another city and after the divorce she asked if she could fly to see me. The experience was wonderful. For the first time in a long time I felt like someone cared for me. 2 years after this meeting (last July) we got married. My ex texted me on my birthday and said she heard I had gotten married and she was happy for me and would not text anymore so she would not be in the way. She did continue to text however. Yesterday I found out she had just recently married the guy she was seeing. I found myself feeling strange. I had worked hard to try to rebuild myself and my life. The marriage had really sucked the life out of me before. Even my doctor had said my health was so much improved from that time. And yet when I heard the news. I felt a strong sadness. At one point today at work I felt like crying. I simply don't understand it as I felt I've done so well and it's been 4 years. There is no desire to restart in any way with her as I've not forgotten how it was and I am happy with my new wife. I guess I'm puzzled because I thought I'd succeeded in moving on and purging. God knows I did enough crying when we were married. I wondered how I would feel if she remarried but I had not expected this. Has this happened to anyone else?
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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I initiated divorce with my ex-husband last year. Similar to yours, it was a fairly painless process. I have since began another chapter in life with a new love, as my marriage was over at least 2 years before it was official. I even moved 1,500 miles away with my, now, fiance and don't speak to my ex. I still think about him. I allow my curiosity to get the best of me at times and look on a social media site we're both on to see if any thing has changed for him. Recently, through a mutual "friend" we share on that site, I find out they're dating. Part of me was sad, maybe part of me is still sad. Like you, I don't know why. I'm very happy where I am. I am now with a man that is far above my wildest dreams. So, I question myself. I over analyze and ultimately end up putting on my "every thing is okay" face because I don't want to tell people how I really feel. Could be I'm embarrassed or just feel guilty because I feel I shouldn't care or be bothered.
But then I think, 5 years (12 in your case), isn't erased in a span of minutes, much less years. I think it's safe to say you were invested in your marriage. I'm sure you did every thing in your power to make it work and never anticipated divorce. You care(d) for her and love(d) her with your entire being only to be shit on. At least that's how I was in my marriage.
Life is unpredictable, as you know. We all grieve at our own pace and part of us may always love and or care for our ex in some capacity, and that's okay. We just have to be patient with ourselves as we're ever evolving in to whom we're ultimately suppose to be- for not only us, but our partners and families.
I feel this was too much rambling. I hope you got some thing out of it.
Best wishes.
If you are religious or spiritual, pray. Pray and give thanks that she's happy and use this prayer as therapy. If you feel like crying during your prayer, cry, let it go. Do this even if it takes you an hour or more. I suggest doing this in a church, a meditation garden, etc.
Get it out of your system. Then, when you close the prayer or meditation, close it all. Close all those feelings and move on. Don't talk, text, phone, visit with your ex partner. Move on. Change your phone if you must, and really let go of any friends that run and tell that person about your whereabouts in life or with whom you are, etc.
Clean slate.
I wish you the best in life.