Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi everyone. i find myself back again to DS.
The process of our divorce is slowly moving...
I been trying to focus on myself health/fitness, reading, selfcare, looking into diy home renovation, and even thinking of going back to school to pursue my goals...
But something keeps bothering me...some of our mutual friends have stopped talking to me? And i know my ex husband have been reaching to our highschool friends also...
I can guess what he is saying...probably lies about me n things to make him look like victim.
I know i shouldnt care what lies n gossip he spreads...or whatever ppl judge me when they dont know the truth...
When ppl ask me what happen..."i just say he just keep looking for happiness elsewhere n he lies...alot. We just werent compatible."
I feel like im still protecting his name, his face, so ppl wont harshly judge him. He a good friend just not...relationship materials when we were together...but only if they know what i had to thru emotionally with him.
I want to b true to myself n my feelings...i want to speak out but i hold myself back bcuz...whats the point? These ppl arent making the effort to know my truth but just take his word?
It makes me sad...like i feel i stand up for myself....i have all the truth...yet i dont feel its right to talk bad about someone cuz maybe they r trying to change for themselves etc....
Sorry if im a bit confusing...im just feeling hurt that....im having to now just acknowledge if these mutual friends have stop responding to my msg, ill respect that n stop reaching out to them...i assume they r hinting me they dont want to chat with me n e more.
Ive done nothing wrong...
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My best friend ruined my day with her immature, bitchy self. If she doesn't get her way, she has a tizzy fit. I told her weeks ago that I couildn't go to yard sales with her on 9/12 because i have a hair appointment. She wasn't happy. I also told her that I don't have any money to go to yard sales. She tried to talk me into going to more yard sales by saying that if I don't go, there...
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The Friday before Labor Day just before we left, the options given to me basically were either quit of be fired, and if I were to stay on I were to be put on an improvement plan, which is pretty much synonymous with getting fired. I was going to do the improvement plan and just ride it out until I found another job due to money and due to the fact that I did not want to quit without another job....
Thanks for the update.
We can't control what other people think, we can only control how we respond to these people.
I can imagine it is tough after a break up when you have mutual friends because some will take his side and some will take your side.
I would suggest focusing more on your own friends, and also in actively looking for some brand new friends!
You're doing great. It is not easy, but you are doing it. You will have a great life. Best wishes to you.
One of the overlooked experiences in a divorce is that division of friends. I have no immediate family in this country and her family became mine too. During the divorce, she went to her family and I stepped away. I stepped away from most of our common friends as well. In every story sadly there needs to be a hero and a villain. We get to play that role for each other.
If they did not ask for your side then perhaps you are better off without them. I would not chase them.
Your stance is correct in my opinion, you know what happened and that is enough for you and not tearing him down for the lies spread. It may not feel like much now, but in the end and we always hit that point, this will matter.
I think your new adventures will be good for you, you come over as a sincere and whole person. I wish you all the best in what you do.
I went thru the same thing -- wanting them to know the whole truth. Much later on, it didn't matter anymore. And they were no longer important ppl to me.
Good luck on your new journey.