Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I spoke with the wife today. She got mad then blew up at me, then hung up on me. She emailed me back telling me that she doesnt want to be my wife anymore, and that she isnt going to changer her mind this time. She has left me so many times before, because of the same reasons. i was not home all that often. i was always tired. I never helped around the house, because i was so tired all the time. All of these are from my military service.... I got PTSD from it, and now am getting the help that i need. I titled this Broken promises, because that is what Sarah told me today, she doesnt want to hear about how much i am changing, because that is all they are to her is broken promises. I am crying so hard right now, because i have tried so hard to change myself before, but when it got better, i did the human thing and fell down that crazy path. i am sitting here wondering, what does god have planned for me? Why did i get married, only to get the one thing i hate, divorced. My head hurts so bad right now. i feel like such a shitbag for all the shit i have done. I have done so much in the past few weeks and changed a lot, but is it all in vain? i truthfully hated the old me, and want to change because of it. I want to have her support though. I want to have her there as she always has been before. Is it possible to fall back in love with someone? Will she ever see the change? Does god even want me to be married to her? all of thesee bounce in my head back and forth. I love her and my boys, and miss them soo much. She still wont let me see them. i know that is against the law, but what do i do? call someone, and get her in trouble? wouldnt that make things worse? her parents just let her do anything, and say what they feel in her ears, which makes things worse. her parents were in way of a lot worse situation than us, but yet they judge me.... Her dad was an alcoholic and very heavy into drugs while she was growing up. her mom left him several times, and finally, he got into rehab, and they ended back together. i serve my country, get shit on because of it with a bad back and mental issues to boot, then lose my wife because of what???? I am sorry i am being so negative right now, i am venting i guess... i just dont know what to do. It hurts so much. I am trying my absolute hardest and succeeding in changing things in my life, but she refuses to even talk to me or see it. What can i do?
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
I actually left my ex for the same reasons she told you except he does not suffer from PTSD....I just could not take it anymore. I felt like a single mom and he also tried to make changes but it just did not work and here we are. I never have kept the kids from him tho. Right now he sees them pretty much when he wants . We arent getting along too well but my kids miss their dad so much I could never deny them seeing him!
He doesnt help too much financially so I am forced with the decision of actually going to court to file custody papers. I hate this all and wish things were different:( We were never married but together 10 years.
I would start by definantly looking at your rights in your state. I know you may not want to file if this is not exactly what you want but you need to be able to see your kids
I feel for you. I know how this feels but pushing yourself on her is just making things worse. It won't work, ever. It just reinforces what she already believes. Actions apeak louder than words, and you really need to focus on you.
I am going to write purely from my perspective and experience. Take what you like; ignore the rest.
My STBX is an alcoholic and sex addict. He pulled a lot of nonsense and routinely took a giant crap on me. As I have healed, taken a long hard look at myself, I have realised the problems that I had that needed addressing and needed changing. For that experience and growth, I am extremely grateful.
I have long asked myself IF he were to get sober, work the 12 steps, attend AA, deal with his sex addiction, would I take him back? For me, there have been too many betrayals, too many lies, too much deception. I also do not like what I let myself become in a dysfunctional marriage. He also made many changes throughout the marriage, but could not sustain them over time.
I do not shout at him, when I speak with him. Attending alanon has helped me to see him with some compassion--even though my intimate relationship with him is finished. I hope he finds a better path than his current path of self-hatred and self-destruction. However, it is his journey to walk; not mine. I am on my own path and journey.
On a spiritual level, I realise that my H came into my life because I needed some changing. It has taken enormous pain for me learn that I had some real fixing needed. Now as I am on a path of recovery, I can honestly say that I am grateful for the marriage, the lies, the betrayals and deception. Really, it could not have happened any other way.
Keep working on yourself. Change for yourself. In that, you will find a better life and will eventually ''win'' with or without your wife by your side.
I am so sorry you are hurting so much today. PLease keep venting and communicating on here, especially if it is helping you.
Whatever you do please keep doing all the hard work on changing to be the man you really want to be, but do it for yourself and for the sake of your children. Focus on what you need to do for yourself to heal and be the good man that you are.
The future will work itself out with whatever is going to happen, but right now you need to focus on getting yourself into a good place, and doing whatever is necessary to achieve that. My prayers continue to be with you.