I spoke with the wife today. She got mad then blew up at me, then hung up on me. She emailed me back telling me that she doesnt want to be my wife anymore, and that she isnt going to changer her mind this time. She has left me so many times before, because of the same reasons. i was not home all that often. i was always tired. I never helped around the house, because i was so tired all the time. All of these are from my military service.... I got PTSD from it, and now am getting the help that i need. I titled this Broken promises, because that is what Sarah told me today, she doesnt want to hear about how much i am changing, because that is all they are to her is broken promises. I am crying so hard right now, because i have tried so hard to change myself before, but when it got better, i did the human thing and fell down that crazy path. i am sitting here wondering, what does god have planned for me? Why did i get married, only to get the one thing i hate, divorced. My head hurts so bad right now. i feel like such a shitbag for all the shit i have done. I have done so much in the past few weeks and changed a lot, but is it all in vain? i truthfully hated the old me, and want to change because of it. I want to have her support though. I want to have her there as she always has been before. Is it possible to fall back in love with someone? Will she ever see the change? Does god even want me to be married to her? all of thesee bounce in my head back and forth. I love her and my boys, and miss them soo much. She still wont let me see them. i know that is against the law, but what do i do? call someone, and get her in trouble? wouldnt that make things worse? her parents just let her do anything, and say what they feel in her ears, which makes things worse. her parents were in way of a lot worse situation than us, but yet they judge me.... Her dad was an alcoholic and very heavy into drugs while she was growing up. her mom left him several times, and finally, he got into rehab, and they ended back together. i serve my country, get shit on because of it with a bad back and mental issues to boot, then lose my wife because of what???? I am sorry i am being so negative right now, i am venting i guess... i just dont know what to do. It hurts so much. I am trying my absolute hardest and succeeding in changing things in my life, but she refuses to even talk to me or see it. What can i do?