I'm in my mid 30 and my ex-girlfriend in her late 20's. We Started 6 years ago, with an in-between period when I moved abroad to study and she was finishing her university. After she finished uni we got back together, in between we both had some unsuccessful adventures. We lived in Europe for about 6 months and travel through south-east Asia for another 4 and finally got to live in Oceania where I continued my studies. We had been here for 2.5 years and our relationship was not the best. It has been 4.5 months since she left me and I can see some things a little bit more clear. 

She has a poor family history, her mum was mistreated by her alcoholic father, they got a divorce when she was 16 and at the same time, she suffered sexual abuse from her first boyfriend. In our relationship she was manipulative and controller, she went through my phone all the time, check on my facebook, emails, and WhatsApp chats, even the ones with my mum and son (not with her and live in another country). Sometimes she even deleted contacts from my facebook just because she was either jealous or she had a 'problem' with that person. Every time that we had an argument she threated me with leaving. A major issue was her jealousy, I never cheated on her and I was really in love, but she had crazy episodes, e.g. one time I was talking with a common friend that she invited over the house, she was next to me and we were discussing about climate change, the conversation was just between me and this girl, suddenly she steps out and gave me a weird look, I knew what was coming, I quickly made my way out to the room and she was furious, thinking that I was flirting, she even hit me. Yes, we even had two episodes of violence where she hit me with her fists, it did not hurt physically but I can say that I was scared of her for a while after that. I never hit back or even raise my voice during this episodes. Just grab her wrist not too hard but enough to stop her hits. Later I found out she even hit her mum once. not everything was bad on her of course, she was kind, generous, spiritual, caring and she did teach me a lot about spirituality and in a certain way that has made this transition easier for me. Why she left me? mainly because I got tired of listening to her, she was always a drama, there was always something, jealousy, her family, her co-workers, a certain friend, the people that we live with, etc, etc, etc. The last one was about some minor thing from her work and she magnified times thousands, and kept going about it for months! 3 hours a day, was her only subject with everyone, it drove me crazy until the point that I told her, I dont want to listen to you anymore about that we have talked about it for 2 months!! and that was the end for her. So I neglected her and we stop communicating as we did, at that point she had me on the verge of a nervous crisis, both of my eyes were twitching. 

A couple of months after this last episodes, she started to be depressed to the point that she started to have suicidal thoughts (at least she said) and told me that she needed space and she was gonna be staying in a friend house. She left and immediately I discovered that she was talking a messaging with a guy from her work. She denied everything, and she cut all contact with me. I behaved not in a mature way, I wrote her long emails about my feelings and how I was working on myself to improve, send her texts regularly but these went without replies. After a month a friend told me that saw her with this guy making out and I lost it, next day I call her and confronted her about it and she recognized that she was going out with him but just as a friend. I lost it, her visa depended on my visa (as a partner) and went to immigration to hand over a letter that our relationship was over and her visa, therefore, would be revoked. Although these things take a long time to happen. Then I just wrote random emails, with no replies, once a week for the next month until finally, I wrote a goodbye one, she contacted me immediately after just to find out if I did the visa thing. We met and of course, all my feeling rushed, I was sentimental, told her that I had handed over the letter and the only way to revoke it was trying to work it out between us (which was true). That night she told me that maybe we should keep talking and maybe meeting in the near future. I told her no, but later I wrote to her that I wanted to see her as well. I never saw her again, after another month of emails, messages and mixed signals from her, I finally stopped and never contacted her again. 

And now 4 months after she is in a relationship with the guy from her work and walking down the street where I live by the hand with him (just saw this yesterday). It really broke my heart again, I was doing a lot better, working out, got into french lessons, going to movies regularly, my social circle is a little scarce given the type of relationship that we had and that all my friends were friends in common and most of them just disappeared. I still not feel like dating or anything like that. Today I felt pretty bad could not get out of bed until 6 pm and I cried again after a couple of weeks without doing it. 

Sorry for the long story, but I just wanted to post it out. I'm not thinking about getting her back, because I really think that she does not deserve me. but, I will really appreciate an objective outside look or opinion at the relationship. 

Thanks, feel free to ask anything if you want.

My best wishes to everyone here

Best

P.