You will be treated this way as long as you continue to tolerate it. You got to set the bar if you keep doing what you've always done you're going to keep getting what you've always got. On again off again and he continues to treat you this way because you're letting him treat you this way don't let him treat you this way walk away you don't need him to validate you he's obviously not going to change from what you're saying. you keep going back to him why should he change. He doesn't respect you is this the way you want to be treated I would say not yes it hurts yes it sucks yes it will be devastating for a while but you can either choose to stay with this man who obviously has no respect for you and keep going through this back-and-forth bulshit just to see that he has not changed or you can walk away and I promise you there somebody better.. My ex thought it was ok to be friends with this trifling piece of trash that 4 years into our marriage she sent him nudes asking him to have sex. He said I was being a jealous bitch. No I wasn't she knew he was married she disrespected the sanctity of our marriage, she disrespected me woman to woman and if he wanted her as a friend and thought it ok he could have her and I was outta there. Yes we ended up divorced for entirely different reasons but that girl was not then and is not now his friend. If your bf continues this behavior it's a choice not a mistake and he can and probably has apologized multiple times for this behavior. When it should of never happened to start with but one time should of been all it took of voicing your concerns and one apology given and he would of changed but he did it again and you put up with it again. When you forgive some one for bad behavior they take it one of two ways they treasure they forgiveness and do everything to not hurt you again or they see your forgiveness as permission as weakness as lack of respect for yourself and sounds to me like he isn't took that forgiveness as the latter of those two ways. You deserve better so it's up to you where you go from here and what you are going to allow him to continue to do that hurts you

Sorry Lindsay that he has not changed. You definitely deserve better, and you know it!! :)

I like what fadegypsy said "this behavior is a choice not a mistake..."

He's not respecting you and if it were me, I would be very concerned about him cheating and giving me an STD. I don't doubt that he can sweet talk himself out of it and keep you as the side piece. But you deserve to be in a committed, healthy relationship with a loyal man.

I read there are 3.7 billion men in this world.... I'm sure you can find yourself one good one! :) Not trying to trivialize this or make light of this, but I know you have been unhappy with him for awhile. You have so much going for you... you deserve better! Many hugs.

Ugh frustrating and sad ;( I know. There are three things that you can do which will help relieve the sense of stress you feel from within.

1. Have one final talk to him explaining how that kind of behavior causes you to feel (e.g. hurt, betrayed, etc). Also inform him that if he does not commit to being sincere to you then it may not work out for you both because, although you care for him deeply, you are unable to feel at ease with those types of behaviors.
2. You can totally accept the unacceptable. You might not be happy in the long-term though :(
3. You can choose to walk away. This one may be the hardest especially i f you deeply care for him but this one will also make you the strongest.

Remember, you never lose. You either win or you learn.
If you decide not to settle with this man, perhaps he's a stepping stone to a man you truly deserve that has the kind of behavior that's most compatible with you.

Yea I have one of those problematic men as well...
from my past experience in another relationship - the guy who I was extremely jealous of (because of his FB behavior) was lying and cheating on and off throughout our whole relationship.
The worst part is when you confront the guy, he makes you feel like you are the crazy one because you are insecure.

Hi there,
Your story reminds me of how in the past that I tried to fulfill my own happiness through others; especially through men. I’ve found that in order to be truly happy that I have had to figure out what was lacking in my own life. I needed something that would never let me down or disappoint me. I couldn’t find that through people; I found that when I put all my trust in them, that they never fully met my expectations. Is this what you are feeling, too?

I had to put my trust, hopes, and dreams into something that would last forever. What I found is that once my heart was in the right place that wonderful things began to happen in my life. I’d love to share with you what the secret to my happiness has been. It is so simple, yet it is a place where I once thought that to ‘give over’ meant that I would lose something. I was wrong.

I believe that you, too, can find this same happiness. I’m sure thinking of you.

I did not realize you had gotten back together? I don't see a journal or post about how that went down. What kind of things did he supposedly change? What steps did he take to show his level of commitment? If I'm remembering your story correctly, he would not allow photos of the two of you online while you were dating, but had one up of him and another woman. I hope that is not the case right now. Him flirting with other women is totally unacceptable. I wonder how he'd feel if you flirted with other men?

Been in that situation myself.....ever since my accident I feel that there has never been a darker shadow cast over me. I know how you feel......

My advice is that you break up with him. A relationship consists of two people - a man and a woman. If this guy is more than looking at other women than that is not a relationship. It sounds like you are putting in, and he is taking. You look young. I am sure that you can bounce back. You owe this guy nothing.
Persistence is key

We are on again, off again. Not consistent. I decided it would be easier seeing every now and again and just be complacent w/ not having a deeply involved relationship. I figured, in time, I would naturally get sick of him and just move on feeling like I never lost anything. We had somehow gotten closer over the last couple months and he acted better and was so considerate of me. He loves his online discussion forums. One night, in my boredom, I googled his user name and saw these comments. I did address it w/ him and he said that it was before he felt committed and wanted to leave "the back door open" bc he felt I was going to break up w/ him, and if I did, it would soften the blow.
I have told him before that I didn't want to see him anymore (for reasons mentioned on my page), but he's always said he'd try to do better to be w/ me. I thought we were doing very well at the time his last comment was made, but he says we weren't official yet. I looked back at our messages, and he said he was busy w/ work, and that was also during our "on-time." I just want honesty.