Asking family for help is part of being family.

Suck up the pride and do it.

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. There are times that you just need help and parents are a creditor that usually doesn't charge an enormous interest rate and are forgiving if you have a bad month and can't pay that month. I have had to get help from my parents and I think that most parents are more than willing to help their children.

Good luck.

Kab... You obviously didn't know my dad... (He was sort of a load shark when it came to fam)

I have the same difficulty....I feel my parents did A LOT for me...setting me up for success. They paid for college...and I just felt that they've done their part for me.

I will resist going to them for assistance....I'm not in that bad of shape...BUT if things were not manegable....I would go to them. They are my parents....they are here for me and I know they will do anything they can to help me out and make my life just a little bit easier. It's not like I went to them prior to all of this for anything....this is extraordinary times. I get the pride thing....BUT I'm sure your parents will want to help. If you need their help....ask for it.

I did. and both my parents and my mother-in-law came thru for me. It's family. In better times I've helped my family and friends out and I look at it as blessings coming back to me. May God or your higher power as you know Him bless you too.

((((((((((Rman)))))))))

I dunno.

Where my son is concerned, I kind of toss my pride out the window when it comes for asking for help.

I don't ask easily either, so I get where you're coming from.

I hate asking for help. Especially when it comes to issues such as not being able to support my family anymore. I tried, though...I just couldn't keep up. Wife will always resent me for that fact. I'm sure I will be considered a "loser," who can't support his family, in her eyes. As for my parents, it's just embarrassing to ask for assistance. I don't know why?

That is what parents are for...be humble...instead of proud...everyone needs helps sometimes...who better to ask than your parents. Some people are not even lucky enough to still have there parents. Ask yourself this? If your children needed...would you rather they ask you? Or someone else?

My father loaned me the money for my first car. Because it was an interest free loan he said that was my graduation gift from him. That was in 1984 I have never had to go to him for money or a place to live thank God.

I would say it would be wrong if you don't have some workable plan to get yourself out of debt. Make a plan, stick to it and show your parents that this is a hand up not a hand out.

You don't need a lecture from me, but you also shouldn't feel compelled to pull the financial weight of your marriage alone.

Who does the family budget? Who controls the money?

If it's her, I'd become a bit more (i.e.-- a lot more) involved if I were you.

Here's the thing...I think you do more than your share to provide for the family. I have a few friends who's wife do not work at all. But they do not push their family into debt. They feel their job is to make every dollar count and to find savings where they can.

I think if this happens for you....you will see that you can provide accordingly for your girls. Especially when you don't have to manage her spending.

As for being embarrassed....I mean I get that. But again...these are desperate times...and desperate times call for desperate measures. Let this be your desperate action. Who cares why you feel embarrassed....just do it. It's just help....until you can get your feet under you...it's temporary.

Thanks everyone. I feel better about this situation right now. It's just too bad my wife and I couldn't have been the "team" that I thought we were going to be. I seriously thought that she had my back, but she doesn't. It's pretty much up to me to swallow my pride for my children.

I had to humble myself and ask my parents for help. I'm glad I did as it brought us closer together after some hard times.

Well this is a sore subject for me right now because I have kids bleeding me to death right now.

But putting that aside....

I would say that it depends on a few factors. If you have always been responsible and handled your own finances on your own and this is just an isolated incident due to divorce and they can afford it without it squeezing them then I see nothing wrong with it.

If they are on a fixed income and struggle or live tightly and they don't have good enough boundaries to say "No" then I do see a problem with it.

If my dad were alive I would be embarrassed but I would ask for his help. He could afford it and from where I am standing life is too short to let ego and pride keep me trapped and miserable.

Whatever it takes as long as it doesn't cause someone else pain or discomfort.

My parents have 2 homes and are looking to buy a 3rd. They have money...lot's of it...but that's not really the issue. I work 2 jobs and have always felt that a man should be able to support his family. Well, times are tough right now and I've fallen behind on the mortgage. I'm sure I could have done a better job of budgeting my finances, but I think since my wife told me she wasn't in love with me anymore, I kind of took on a fuck it attitude...not a very mature thing to do, but I'll own up to it...I always go to work and pretty much spend all my money on bills. Sometimes I regret ever meeting my wife, but then I realize that I have my kids because of her. Marriage is stupid.