glad ya talked. but you didnt say whether or not you feel any better?
i also got very lucky with my hubby. he know's im totally crazy and has stuck with me. he's awesome!

He wasn't right for giving you an ultimatum. Sometimes the people we love and who love us don't exactly express what they mean in the best way. Since he told you that he doesn't want you to die. I would put more weight on those words which carry love in them then on his stupidly worded remark earlier. Know that he loves you and he wants you to be healthy so you have a long life together.

If the words first spoken still bother you then definitely see your pdoc or therapist. Also let your husband know that though he might have meant well those words were hurtful and give him some advice on how you would prefer him to tell you about health concerns. Sometimes men need to be told explicitly how to tell us some things.

I'm still a little sad. He didn't really appolgize for what he said.....he usually does....instead he tried to cheer me up and brush it off. If I could ask him for one more thing it would be to appologize for his mean and cruel motivational tool. I know it was a motivational when he said he didn't want me to die of a coronary at 40 and from the help of you guys but If only he could say I am sorry for hurting your feelings....then that would make it right again.

i can understand that! hopefully, he'll think it over and say he's sorry.

This reminds me a lot of the types of things my husband used to say to me. I am currently divorcing him for emotional abuse. Now I'm not saying this one thing constitutes such drastic action but words can really hurt. I think it was a mean thing to say. I hope that is it simply because he cares for you and isn't so good at expressing that.

Well here's a bright side, your weight is never set in stone ...

But just a question, do you exercise regularly? I mean, what your husband said put aside, regular exercise and a healthy diet is imperative to a healthy lifestyle. I would advise that for anyone and everyone, not just you.

No need to get sad over what he said, perhaps annoyed at him for giving you an ultimatum, but you will be fine. If you are on medications that make you gain weight, discuss with your pdoc any potential weight neutral medications.

Personally, I am on lithium and risperdal, two notorious weightgaining meds, but I exercise 5x per week and eat healthy most of the time... It seems to be helping me cut off some of the weight I gained since my episode.

We're here for you!

What a jerk.

As a person with bipolar disorder, aren't you already on an anti-depressant? And you just have to refuse to accept what he said. Don't even consider it as anymore important than "will you pick up the kids".
There's two possibilities that I can see. He's trying to shock you into losing weight for health purposes and figures he has to hurt you to do that. Or he's a dickhead.
Also, after 33 yrs. of marriage experience...do NOT let this simmer. Tell him you need private time for a discussion. First, he'll poop his pants and then try to say there's nothing to discuss...anything to get out of it....but don't let him.
Get your feelings out in the open. No matter what he thinks, you will feel better by getting it out.
Good luck, Bobbi