Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
so i havent slept properly in days. but i had a really bad drugs binge this weekend. my last drug related post got ridiculous responses. if you don't want to read this can you just not. and refrain from commenting ridiculous childish things please it doesnt help anyone ? thanks.
anyway. where was i.
indeed i haven't slept for days. i am not manic because i am completely stable. this is the MOST stable i have been in years and i am not on any medication. i am just at a point where i am neither depressed or manic i am just very happy. i am loving life, taking chances, make friends, going out, exploring, planning my life, thinking of all the things i'd love to do.
i feel sort of indestructible at the moment and i nothing is bringing me down other than my weight but that's a separate issue.
but this not being able to sleep thing is really bugging me big style. i will lie here for hours and hours and hours and never ever feel the need to close an eye. and when i do close them they automatically spring open. i am restless and moving about and hot and pissy and i just want to fucking sleep but my body and mind just wont let me. its physically and mentally exhausting trying to stay awake when i am so tried. insomnia is a true bitch.
but anyway i had a great weekend ! went out obviously with my friends.
did Ectacy, coke and mephedrone. was one of the best nights in a long time everyone was happy and buzzing and friendly and we laughed for hours we made art and we danced like wild hippies and made love and smoked and talked about relentless silly ideas that kept us laughing . it was a great experience, i feel like socially i am very able and very adaptable. i get along with almost anyone and more or less anyone gets on with me. i like that about me.
anyway just an update for anyone who gives a shit. :) x
anyway. where was i.
indeed i haven't slept for days. i am not manic because i am completely stable. this is the MOST stable i have been in years and i am not on any medication. i am just at a point where i am neither depressed or manic i am just very happy. i am loving life, taking chances, make friends, going out, exploring, planning my life, thinking of all the things i'd love to do.
i feel sort of indestructible at the moment and i nothing is bringing me down other than my weight but that's a separate issue.
but this not being able to sleep thing is really bugging me big style. i will lie here for hours and hours and hours and never ever feel the need to close an eye. and when i do close them they automatically spring open. i am restless and moving about and hot and pissy and i just want to fucking sleep but my body and mind just wont let me. its physically and mentally exhausting trying to stay awake when i am so tried. insomnia is a true bitch.
but anyway i had a great weekend ! went out obviously with my friends.
did Ectacy, coke and mephedrone. was one of the best nights in a long time everyone was happy and buzzing and friendly and we laughed for hours we made art and we danced like wild hippies and made love and smoked and talked about relentless silly ideas that kept us laughing . it was a great experience, i feel like socially i am very able and very adaptable. i get along with almost anyone and more or less anyone gets on with me. i like that about me.
anyway just an update for anyone who gives a shit. :) x
And so to bed....
fastmatt - i'm not on medication so the concern regarding my druguse + medication is unneeded, thanks for the response though :)
richard - thanks man =)
dd - you're a babe :)
carla - i love you.
gmason - can you explain what you mean ?
and panchod - you're a gem ^_^
I don't know about bi polar but you definitely have all the makings of a young drug addict. Actually I'm pretty sure you already are one. And the worse kind a junky. Coke, Ectacy, methadon (which is what they give heroin addicts as a maintenance drug).
Is there anything you wont try? What's next huffing?
Admit it you are in love with drugs. Wait till one day you WANT to stop and find out you can't. It's no way to live. When you run out of drugs you suffer until you can find away to get more. Eventually your "I'll never do that" turns into "well maybe that isn't so bad"
That what the drugs do to your mind.
Come back when you are sober if you ever get sober. Drugs have a way of locking your mentality into place. It stunts your growth as a person.
Every one plans to stop and settle down some day, but not every one does stop.
The reason I say junkies are the worse kind is because those are the one's that end up dead at a young age. Usually by trying something deadly like well I won't give you ideas.
Good luck. And no I'm not offended or hateful or attacking. I care that's the reason I said it. It needed to be said.
i am intelligent i am successful and i am young free and experimenting.
mephedrone - is not methadone (the substitute)
the one i did is a plant fertilizer..........
i am sober.. i don't on any level or would ever take drugs on a daily basis i spend 10 hours a day studying and party at weekends. thats my life.
i am completely aware that its hard for anyone to grasp the concept that i do this GENUINELY recreationally but i do, but yeah
thanks for the concern and i do mean that because it's nice to have someone give a crap. not many people have that
x
I don't think it needed to be said at all. Mush is a SMART gal. I suspect you've not told her anything she hasn't heard eleventy-million times.
"JUST SAY NO"
Had that shit DRILLED into my head, all my life. I grew up around pot-heads. Here, on one hand, I have people telling me Drugs are bad (mmkay) and here on the other hand, I see people who are 'happy'...they're having a fucking BLAST. Now you tell me how that weighs out?
Sadly there are some people who learn best by fucking up.
It should be said even more so if some one doesn't want to hear it. And not all people get something right away so even if I get static on it I'm gonna keep saying it.
And it's called freedom of speech! If she doesn't want to keep hearing that it's dangerous then stop posting about it.
And as far as not reading her posts hey I never know she might be posting about something other than drugs. It could happen.
It doesn't bother me to read them it's every one else bothered by reading what I had to say. Well I'm sorry but I don't just say only what people want to hear.
And I don't know many people on DS that do only say what others want to hear. Frankly if that's what you want there are many other places on the internet you can go for that!
As far as mush not having any where else to talk about it, there are drug forums all over the internet where you can glorify drugs until you keel over.
Not that it's wrong to talk about it here but don't expect us to all sit here and say "YAY! DRUGS Keep up the good work!"
I see posts here all the time about binge eating on junk food. But does anyone ever say, hey! you're clogging your arteries, increasing your chances of Diabetes, this isn't the place for it...go glorify your gluttony some place else!
??
Well not that I've seen.
Obviously it's not wise to use drugs, and no, it's not worthy of a high-five. But she knows that.... hence the title of her thread (and the disclaimer that followed).
No hard feelings, I'm not trying to start an argument. I just see things from a different perspective. It's not a win-or-lose debate, we both make excellent points, doorknob.
I put the disclaimer because on my last thread about my experience with a psychedelic i received ignorant, childish AGEIST responses that were neither productive or helpful.
i appreciate responses such as yours door, which are productive and have a purpose. i put the disclaimer to discourage the same people coming back and making me feel like a child because it is unnecessary. considering i am apparently more mature than some middle agers :)
Maybe the glorification of drugs should be a topic that should be limited. Overeating and binging is a disease. Recreational drug use is just illegal.
Just saying. Drugs is a cry for help. Because you think it makes you feel better. When it will only make things worse in the long run.
i could suggest you're a sour old bag. but i doubt you think you are.
Over-eating/binging AS WELL AS DRUG USE are all symptoms of a deeper issue. It's a void, and we gotta fill it with SOMETHING...
Ehh, tomato tomah-toe.
hope you're all doing good tooo baby ;)