so i havent slept properly in days. but i had a really bad drugs binge this weekend. my last drug related post got ridiculous responses. if you don't want to read this can you just not. and refrain from commenting ridiculous childish things please it doesnt help anyone ? thanks.

anyway. where was i.
indeed i haven't slept for days. i am not manic because i am completely stable. this is the MOST stable i have been in years and i am not on any medication. i am just at a point where i am neither depressed or manic i am just very happy. i am loving life, taking chances, make friends, going out, exploring, planning my life, thinking of all the things i'd love to do.
i feel sort of indestructible at the moment and i nothing is bringing me down other than my weight but that's a separate issue.

but this not being able to sleep thing is really bugging me big style. i will lie here for hours and hours and hours and never ever feel the need to close an eye. and when i do close them they automatically spring open. i am restless and moving about and hot and pissy and i just want to fucking sleep but my body and mind just wont let me. its physically and mentally exhausting trying to stay awake when i am so tried. insomnia is a true bitch.

but anyway i had a great weekend ! went out obviously with my friends.
did Ectacy, coke and mephedrone. was one of the best nights in a long time everyone was happy and buzzing and friendly and we laughed for hours we made art and we danced like wild hippies and made love and smoked and talked about relentless silly ideas that kept us laughing . it was a great experience, i feel like socially i am very able and very adaptable. i get along with almost anyone and more or less anyone gets on with me. i like that about me.

anyway just an update for anyone who gives a shit. :) x