Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
so i havent slept properly in days. but i had a really bad drugs binge this weekend. my last drug related post got ridiculous responses. if you don't want to read this can you just not. and refrain from commenting ridiculous childish things please it doesnt help anyone ? thanks.
anyway. where was i.
indeed i haven't slept for days. i am not manic because i am completely stable. this is the MOST stable i have been in years and i am not on any medication. i am just at a point where i am neither depressed or manic i am just very happy. i am loving life, taking chances, make friends, going out, exploring, planning my life, thinking of all the things i'd love to do.
i feel sort of indestructible at the moment and i nothing is bringing me down other than my weight but that's a separate issue.
but this not being able to sleep thing is really bugging me big style. i will lie here for hours and hours and hours and never ever feel the need to close an eye. and when i do close them they automatically spring open. i am restless and moving about and hot and pissy and i just want to fucking sleep but my body and mind just wont let me. its physically and mentally exhausting trying to stay awake when i am so tried. insomnia is a true bitch.
but anyway i had a great weekend ! went out obviously with my friends.
did Ectacy, coke and mephedrone. was one of the best nights in a long time everyone was happy and buzzing and friendly and we laughed for hours we made art and we danced like wild hippies and made love and smoked and talked about relentless silly ideas that kept us laughing . it was a great experience, i feel like socially i am very able and very adaptable. i get along with almost anyone and more or less anyone gets on with me. i like that about me.
anyway just an update for anyone who gives a shit. :) x
anyway. where was i.
indeed i haven't slept for days. i am not manic because i am completely stable. this is the MOST stable i have been in years and i am not on any medication. i am just at a point where i am neither depressed or manic i am just very happy. i am loving life, taking chances, make friends, going out, exploring, planning my life, thinking of all the things i'd love to do.
i feel sort of indestructible at the moment and i nothing is bringing me down other than my weight but that's a separate issue.
but this not being able to sleep thing is really bugging me big style. i will lie here for hours and hours and hours and never ever feel the need to close an eye. and when i do close them they automatically spring open. i am restless and moving about and hot and pissy and i just want to fucking sleep but my body and mind just wont let me. its physically and mentally exhausting trying to stay awake when i am so tried. insomnia is a true bitch.
but anyway i had a great weekend ! went out obviously with my friends.
did Ectacy, coke and mephedrone. was one of the best nights in a long time everyone was happy and buzzing and friendly and we laughed for hours we made art and we danced like wild hippies and made love and smoked and talked about relentless silly ideas that kept us laughing . it was a great experience, i feel like socially i am very able and very adaptable. i get along with almost anyone and more or less anyone gets on with me. i like that about me.
anyway just an update for anyone who gives a shit. :) x
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Indestructible ...( delusional)
Drugs ( risky behavior )
Surges of creativity
I give a shit, but watch out for the crash
Hugs
:P
So you had an orgy?
Obviously you're gonna do your thang' despite what anyone here says, get it out of your system while you're young.
I did the same shit when I was your age. I just hope you don't suffer any of the same repercussions (or worse).
Hugs chicky :)
and nice rap eph !:) x
I agree with dd that you sound classically manic.
Either that, or the drug use is creating the problems for you. I have two sons who are recovering addicts and while using they had the same symptoms you have.
It sounds like you have a great social life with lots of friends, have any of them questioned your behavior? If not, is this the way you have always been? I would be concerned about the lack of sleep, it is usually a first sign but can trigger you also if you are not careful.
Are you taking meds and seeing a doc? Sorry for all the questions but they come to mind as I type................hope you find restful sleep.
must be difficult to read my flippant posts, while your sons are suffering.
anyways no i don't have a dr, only on anti-d's and i don't really need them anyway ^_^
it's probably the druguse that has messed up my sleep because i was awake all night saturday the 28th, then had 2 hours the 29th and then only had 4 hours last night, im still not really that tired but im not feeling manic so its okay its just bothering me not being able to sleep ! :(X
also i am so unmotivated i cant get anything done every little bit of work is a task and my concentration is zero -.-
wait for it.. wait for it...
be careful.. keep the meds handy, seriously.
I'm with the rest. Not against you, just that you are jumping off a bridge with no bungee chord, and you think it is the best thing that ever happened to you. Just hope the water is soft when you hit bottom.
Hugs and keep posting if it helps.
Are you just looking for any attention you can get?
Taking those other drugs whiel taking prescribed meds is dangerouse
you could cuase permenant injury to your kidneys liver pancerous and thyroid.
Dr's will prescribe a very powerful sedative drugs to start treatment for beepers. Then they will bring you up slowly to keep you out of mania. Follow that treatment .. or you will get labled non compliant and your quality of treatment will go down.. If you get a window of clarity and soberity you might have a chance to slow down..
I care.
Up all hours.
When the crash comes, and sometimes it's years later , it's brutal.
Hahahaha!!! Stable, my ass!!!!
But, I get you!!! I have felt EXACTLY like you, many, many times!!!!
I've already told you before, I hate to see you pissing your life away doing drugs but I don't begrudge you your right to do so!!!!! (It's the very same choice that *I* made at your age, which is the only reason I hate to see you do it!!! LOL!!!)
Never mind the 'obvious' objections to you taking those drugs -- illegal, causing permanent brain damage, possible fatal overdose, blah, blah, blah.
In this case, as you yourself observe, they may have a lot to do with your not being able to sleep.
THAT may lead to disastrous results!!!!!
You might want to look at your drug usage from that perspective and weigh the pros and cons.
I ALSO don't like you being on an anti-depressant and nothing else!!!! I don't know what brainiac decided that THAT was just the right treatment for someone with Bipolar Disorder but it's generally considered to be one of the worst things to do!!!
Often ends in mania.
But then, you say you aren't on any medication. I think I might approve of you skipping THAT one!!!
Yes!!! I DO give a shit!!!!
As I say, it's always great to hear from you!!!!
I love getting updates from you, even when they horrify me!!!!
Keep popping in and letting us know how you're doing!!!!
And tell me how school is going!!!!! Are you still loving it!!!?
((((((((((Hugs))))))))))