"How do do you make friends with normal people if you're bipolar and get upset if they don't text back right away, or do some little thing that makes me think they don't like me? Is there ever going to be a time when I have real friends again? "

I think you need to learn not to get upset if people don't respond straight away - it's not a bipolar thing so you'd be no different from anyone else in this. Actually what you describe sounds more like borderline but when we are transplanted from one culture to another this kind of thing is really common - some of it is a difference in cultural rhythms and habits and some of it is a kind of hyper vigilence you get when you are out of your normal environment.

How long ago did you move?

What is hyper vigilance? I moved over a year ago, but the Pacific Northwest is known for having introverted people

If I go getting upset at people its not them with the emotional issue... it's me. So for me your question becomes how do I control my emotions?... and that answer is subjective, the answer is different for different people. I basically talk to my emotions. I ask mine to contain themselves and they usually comply, giving me room to get to know them... just like Disney's movie Inside Out!

Loneliness and isolation won't fix themselves. What sort of friends would you like? Where do people like that congregate? Those are the sort of questions I would be trying to answer. Good luck.

I think technology has changed the course of friendships, honestly. I recently deactivated my Facebook without telling anyone because I found it very isolating just scrolling through every day to see what 200 friends and firmer colleagues and acquaintances were up to each day. Also texting is much different than picking up the phone and calling a friend to talk.

I hear what you are saying...I have also felt isolated with the BP diagnosis and other difficult life experiences that have made me wonder why I don't feel connected to too many friends like I used to long ago.

I am learning patience and slowly trying to be open to possibilities as I sort it all out in therapy and it's a personal thing for each of us. How about trying meetup.com or signing up for a class? It's hard to meet people, I find. But I'm sure there are people out there who also want to feel the same connections....and also real life support groups can help, being around people who understand the mental health aspects.

But remember we are not our illness! It's just a part of who we really are...

I've lived on three continents and am pretty convinced it takes allot more than a year to find your niche in a new place. Those early meet-ups do tend to be flaky. Seems like all the stable social stars already have full plates most everywhere I go. It isn't easy being the new kid on the block, even for a road warrior, like me.

I know a year feels like a long time, but it's not, especially if you have been putting family first. Be patient with the process, KC.

P.S.
Hyper-vigilance is where you are plying more vigilance than needed for the current circumstances. I have received tons of therapy for it in context with my PTSD.

Oh dear, I ask myself this a lot of the time too. I've gained and lost friends because of this illness. I wish I could offer you some words of advice and wisdom, but just know that I've been in (am in) the same boat as you and you're not alone with this.

Thanks for your kind words guyz.

I completely know that it's not an emotional problem they may have when it comes to my hyper vigilance, but surely sensitivehobolady must be right.

Tech has changed relationships for the worst, and I don't think it will return to how it was without ridding ourselves of that tech

Sure, I am hyper vigilant and nitpicky, but I also know that it's not wrong to be sensitive, but it's wrong to be rude.

If someone fails to respond in a convo, they still can inform the other they were busy or really anything, just to be courteous, but most don't, they pretend they never did that the next time you speak to them. Of course at this point I have the choice to let those emotions effect me or not, but the fact is they remain. Honestly the best solution I can think of is to be in the midst of people who value those types of manners, thereby lessening the times that I am rudely cut out without explanation.

I'm actually moving within a week or less to California, but I prefer Texas for the manners. Nevertheless it'll be good for the soul to get a big change in.

I am also going to start going to bipolar support groups, as I think that it would be best to have many bipolar friends instead of normal friends. But I don't know, because I don't really know any other people with bipolar disorder, so time will tell.

You do need to find some groups to make friends in. We moved to BC 2 years ago. We found a good church, and there are some really good people there. But friends? Well these people have known each other for years and years. I am on FB with a lot of them. I am very involved in the church, too. But still very slow to make new friends.

I remember discussing this with some bipolar friends. They were giving insight from their pdocs. One said, the older you get, the harder it is to make friends. When I lived in Alberta, it took me 5 years to find some really good friends. I attended a bipolar/depression support group and the only thing that came out of that was a guy hitting on me! I was in my 50's and obese at the time, to say nothing of married. That ended that for me!

But you might try and find a bipolar support group. A lot of communities have them. I would think that area of the country would have them.

Plus, I don't know about "hyper vigilant" people. I lived in Vancouver BC, just north of you, for 18 years. I found the people to be incredibly cliquey. I honestly do not have one friend from that time. Fortunately, I was raising 4 active children at the time, and working as a teacher, so I had lots of social interaction, and I didn't worry too much about not have a real girlfriend. Although, sometimes I needed one, I confess!

maintaining friendships can be hard but i do understand where your coming from just set time for for your self even if your really busy you need time to breath and it important to have friends

In my case, hyper vigilance is actually paranoia. I've not kept many friends ever. Mostly my fault, or not. I don't know. I wasn't too impressed with most of the "norms" I made friends with, so I found the other weirdos.
As for Facebook, I've got 10 friends, 4 of which I'm not interested in being friends with outside of fb, and one is my soon to be ex, and another 2 of them live in completely distant countries, leaving me with very few. 10 is more friends than I've ever had total in real life.
My point is... It's not how many, it's connecting with just one or two, and yes, working to maintain that relationship

It's great to hear that I'm not alone in this! I think it's also part of getting older as Marlenej mentioned. I'm actually so excited to move to California, I'm sure there are gripey people there too, but if it's warm I can go out and do something whether I'm alone or not. That's all I need, is stuff happening around me and some warm weather, it'll make me feel alive again.

This community is fantastic I'm glad I joined!