Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I've been crying most of the morning...
Last night my eating problem came to a head when I'd made my mind up to try and eat more. I said to myself "I'm going to allow myself to eat normally"...it didn't last. By saying that to myself I felt a complete failure, weak and stupid.
Last night after eating a bit of veg I had severe suical thoughts and self-harmed. I was hyserical and it scared me.
I talked to my Mum last night and told her everything about my thoughts about eating. I finally plucked up the courage to admit I have a serious problem and yet at 6 stone 4 lbs (88 lbs) and with a BMI of 16.6 I still want to lose weight. We've found out that there is a specialized eating disorder hospital (cygnet hospital) which accepts NHS patients and I made the decision to let my Mum phone my pdoc and we would go and see him and ask for a referral. He has told us he would fit us in any time in an emergancy.
I woke up this morning and my Mum phoned my pdoc...now bare in mind I have done EVERYTHING he's always asked. The only this I have refused to do which was last week, was double the Mirtazapine (for obvious reasons).
My Mum explained that we needed to see him as an emergancy, I'm getting suicidal thoughts and last night self-harmed. My Mum said, she now has a serious problem with eating.
His exact word were..."I know that, but she has a problem with her attitude" he then followed it with "I can see you on Monday or I'll see you and have a frank discussion with her today and you can pick up the pieces over the weekend, because I don't think I can carry on being her doctor for much longer".
Needless to say I'm now just as upset as I was last night. I have no idea what to do next and my appointment isn't until 5 o'clock so I have to wait all day to be told this face to face. I just want to give up on everything right now. I'm going to be at one of my lowest points and with no therapist.
x-Bliss-x
Last night my eating problem came to a head when I'd made my mind up to try and eat more. I said to myself "I'm going to allow myself to eat normally"...it didn't last. By saying that to myself I felt a complete failure, weak and stupid.
Last night after eating a bit of veg I had severe suical thoughts and self-harmed. I was hyserical and it scared me.
I talked to my Mum last night and told her everything about my thoughts about eating. I finally plucked up the courage to admit I have a serious problem and yet at 6 stone 4 lbs (88 lbs) and with a BMI of 16.6 I still want to lose weight. We've found out that there is a specialized eating disorder hospital (cygnet hospital) which accepts NHS patients and I made the decision to let my Mum phone my pdoc and we would go and see him and ask for a referral. He has told us he would fit us in any time in an emergancy.
I woke up this morning and my Mum phoned my pdoc...now bare in mind I have done EVERYTHING he's always asked. The only this I have refused to do which was last week, was double the Mirtazapine (for obvious reasons).
My Mum explained that we needed to see him as an emergancy, I'm getting suicidal thoughts and last night self-harmed. My Mum said, she now has a serious problem with eating.
His exact word were..."I know that, but she has a problem with her attitude" he then followed it with "I can see you on Monday or I'll see you and have a frank discussion with her today and you can pick up the pieces over the weekend, because I don't think I can carry on being her doctor for much longer".
Needless to say I'm now just as upset as I was last night. I have no idea what to do next and my appointment isn't until 5 o'clock so I have to wait all day to be told this face to face. I just want to give up on everything right now. I'm going to be at one of my lowest points and with no therapist.
x-Bliss-x
Your not making this any more bareable. You have made your point very clear and that is your opinion. If you don't agree with giving me support through this then don't say anything at all now. You've said enough.
x-Bliss-x
We went for 5 o'clock and we talked about what had happened the night before. I told him everything and he was so understanding. He agreed that the best thing to do now is to refer me to the local Eating Disorder unit in my area. Luckily it's actually one of their sister hospitals which comes under the Cygnet Hospitals, so at least I know their care is very good as I was in their care under the psychiatric hospital before. He's going to try and contact my GP on Monday but he's away for three weeks so he's going to see if anyone else in the surgery can help. He's also going to contact the ED unit and see what their bed availability is like. As I'll be going in under the NHS I might have to wait till April as we're at the end of the financial year and so are less likely to take on more patients. In April they get another lump sum and so I'll have more chance. I'll just have to wait and see. For now all I can do is try and eat enough to keep me from being hospitalized in a main hospital.
x-Bliss-x