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I've been crying most of the morning...
Last night my eating problem came to a head when I'd made my mind up to try and eat more. I said to myself "I'm going to allow myself to eat normally"...it didn't last. By saying that to myself I felt a complete failure, weak and stupid.
Last night after eating a bit of veg I had severe suical thoughts and self-harmed. I was hyserical and it scared me.
I talked to my Mum last night and told her everything about my thoughts about eating. I finally plucked up the courage to admit I have a serious problem and yet at 6 stone 4 lbs (88 lbs) and with a BMI of 16.6 I still want to lose weight. We've found out that there is a specialized eating disorder hospital (cygnet hospital) which accepts NHS patients and I made the decision to let my Mum phone my pdoc and we would go and see him and ask for a referral. He has told us he would fit us in any time in an emergancy.
I woke up this morning and my Mum phoned my pdoc...now bare in mind I have done EVERYTHING he's always asked. The only this I have refused to do which was last week, was double the Mirtazapine (for obvious reasons).
My Mum explained that we needed to see him as an emergancy, I'm getting suicidal thoughts and last night self-harmed. My Mum said, she now has a serious problem with eating.
His exact word were..."I know that, but she has a problem with her attitude" he then followed it with "I can see you on Monday or I'll see you and have a frank discussion with her today and you can pick up the pieces over the weekend, because I don't think I can carry on being her doctor for much longer".
Needless to say I'm now just as upset as I was last night. I have no idea what to do next and my appointment isn't until 5 o'clock so I have to wait all day to be told this face to face. I just want to give up on everything right now. I'm going to be at one of my lowest points and with no therapist.
x-Bliss-x
Last night my eating problem came to a head when I'd made my mind up to try and eat more. I said to myself "I'm going to allow myself to eat normally"...it didn't last. By saying that to myself I felt a complete failure, weak and stupid.
Last night after eating a bit of veg I had severe suical thoughts and self-harmed. I was hyserical and it scared me.
I talked to my Mum last night and told her everything about my thoughts about eating. I finally plucked up the courage to admit I have a serious problem and yet at 6 stone 4 lbs (88 lbs) and with a BMI of 16.6 I still want to lose weight. We've found out that there is a specialized eating disorder hospital (cygnet hospital) which accepts NHS patients and I made the decision to let my Mum phone my pdoc and we would go and see him and ask for a referral. He has told us he would fit us in any time in an emergancy.
I woke up this morning and my Mum phoned my pdoc...now bare in mind I have done EVERYTHING he's always asked. The only this I have refused to do which was last week, was double the Mirtazapine (for obvious reasons).
My Mum explained that we needed to see him as an emergancy, I'm getting suicidal thoughts and last night self-harmed. My Mum said, she now has a serious problem with eating.
His exact word were..."I know that, but she has a problem with her attitude" he then followed it with "I can see you on Monday or I'll see you and have a frank discussion with her today and you can pick up the pieces over the weekend, because I don't think I can carry on being her doctor for much longer".
Needless to say I'm now just as upset as I was last night. I have no idea what to do next and my appointment isn't until 5 o'clock so I have to wait all day to be told this face to face. I just want to give up on everything right now. I'm going to be at one of my lowest points and with no therapist.
x-Bliss-x
deleted_user
lou is right. Tough love was the only way I put on weight in my teens. I was a walking skeleton and could have died. Please follow the Drs advice and take the med.
deleted_user
Thank you, Suze x
deleted_user
yes but xBlissx is not at a point just now to hear about tough love. She is in a bad place and needs our sympathy. I mean her therapist is leaving her....what a shock that is! Maybe when she is stronger and on a program that she can get onto in hospital will she be able to handle the tough love approach
deleted_user
*eyeroll* therapist won't leave her if she starts cooperating x
deleted_user
maybe she just needs some love and a bit of time. She is crying out for help why are you being so heartless lou2?
deleted_user
Like you have all the authority on these things anyway....bleeding heart wishy washiness, i say. & relating that yes, medication made you fat?? How is that constructive?
deleted_user
Because, Artemis, that is what helps. Get your head around that.
deleted_user
I think I understand that you, lou2, also suffer from eating disorders and from your profile I think I see that you are quite a driven person. Would it not be more helpful if you were easy on yourself and therefore upon others?
deleted_user
Dude, I'm not underweight, I make myself eat & it's an anxiety/bp thing not a vanity thing..however, have known many anorexics & seen that no-nonsense approach is what helps.
deleted_user
Dude, I'm not underweight, I make myself eat & it's an anxiety/bp thing not a vanity thing..however, have known many anorexics & seen that no-nonsense approach is what helps.
deleted_user
Dude, I'm not underweight, I make myself eat & it's an anxiety/bp thing not a vanity thing..however, have known many anorexics & seen that no-nonsense approach is what helps.
deleted_user
Dude, I'm not underweight, I make myself eat & it's an anxiety/bp thing not a vanity thing..however, have known many anorexics & seen that no-nonsense approach is what helps.
deleted_user
vanity?
deleted_user
Yeah, as in an eating disorder.
deleted_user
Let me get this straight you think people with eating disorders are vain? Is that correct?
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