Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I've been crying most of the morning...
Last night my eating problem came to a head when I'd made my mind up to try and eat more. I said to myself "I'm going to allow myself to eat normally"...it didn't last. By saying that to myself I felt a complete failure, weak and stupid.
Last night after eating a bit of veg I had severe suical thoughts and self-harmed. I was hyserical and it scared me.
I talked to my Mum last night and told her everything about my thoughts about eating. I finally plucked up the courage to admit I have a serious problem and yet at 6 stone 4 lbs (88 lbs) and with a BMI of 16.6 I still want to lose weight. We've found out that there is a specialized eating disorder hospital (cygnet hospital) which accepts NHS patients and I made the decision to let my Mum phone my pdoc and we would go and see him and ask for a referral. He has told us he would fit us in any time in an emergancy.
I woke up this morning and my Mum phoned my pdoc...now bare in mind I have done EVERYTHING he's always asked. The only this I have refused to do which was last week, was double the Mirtazapine (for obvious reasons).
My Mum explained that we needed to see him as an emergancy, I'm getting suicidal thoughts and last night self-harmed. My Mum said, she now has a serious problem with eating.
His exact word were..."I know that, but she has a problem with her attitude" he then followed it with "I can see you on Monday or I'll see you and have a frank discussion with her today and you can pick up the pieces over the weekend, because I don't think I can carry on being her doctor for much longer".
Needless to say I'm now just as upset as I was last night. I have no idea what to do next and my appointment isn't until 5 o'clock so I have to wait all day to be told this face to face. I just want to give up on everything right now. I'm going to be at one of my lowest points and with no therapist.
x-Bliss-x
Last night my eating problem came to a head when I'd made my mind up to try and eat more. I said to myself "I'm going to allow myself to eat normally"...it didn't last. By saying that to myself I felt a complete failure, weak and stupid.
Last night after eating a bit of veg I had severe suical thoughts and self-harmed. I was hyserical and it scared me.
I talked to my Mum last night and told her everything about my thoughts about eating. I finally plucked up the courage to admit I have a serious problem and yet at 6 stone 4 lbs (88 lbs) and with a BMI of 16.6 I still want to lose weight. We've found out that there is a specialized eating disorder hospital (cygnet hospital) which accepts NHS patients and I made the decision to let my Mum phone my pdoc and we would go and see him and ask for a referral. He has told us he would fit us in any time in an emergancy.
I woke up this morning and my Mum phoned my pdoc...now bare in mind I have done EVERYTHING he's always asked. The only this I have refused to do which was last week, was double the Mirtazapine (for obvious reasons).
My Mum explained that we needed to see him as an emergancy, I'm getting suicidal thoughts and last night self-harmed. My Mum said, she now has a serious problem with eating.
His exact word were..."I know that, but she has a problem with her attitude" he then followed it with "I can see you on Monday or I'll see you and have a frank discussion with her today and you can pick up the pieces over the weekend, because I don't think I can carry on being her doctor for much longer".
Needless to say I'm now just as upset as I was last night. I have no idea what to do next and my appointment isn't until 5 o'clock so I have to wait all day to be told this face to face. I just want to give up on everything right now. I'm going to be at one of my lowest points and with no therapist.
x-Bliss-x
He feels like a failure and masks it with some hard words and attitude of his own. So we're all in this together, and I wish you well!
Mirtazapine (Remeron) is an antidepressant but it makes you gain a lot of weight and carry extra water with oedema so you look bloated. That's what I get anyway and that isn't the eating disorder talking because my Mum was honest and said that yes it did bloat me. Which obviously made my body image even worse.
x-Bliss-x
I am now 200 lbs because of the meds I am on but take pride in my body and I still get out to exercise - mostly walking. A new therapy program I am going to start will pay for a gym membership so I am really looking forward to that.
x-Bliss-x
That was to lou2's post
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