You did say you spent a lot of your life in bed. I think it's going to take a lot of practice to stay out of bed. I hope that you have both a therapist and psychiatrist to help you. I also hope that when you go to some of these things where you drop your kids off, sometimes you'll just stay and watch. Other parents might be there too. You could get to know some of them. They could be OK enough to enjoy being around. You might want to not be in bed all the time. I'm probably way off, but those are the things that kept me in bed most years

I actually have a lot of friends. I have had some good years where I have been pretty productive and have done a lot of volunteering, so I do know a lot of people. But I take advantage of almost every opportunity to go back to bed these days. I feel like a failure in life, even though I have a master's degree, and have a hard time facing the world every day.

I must say to you Justlenmom4, reading yoir posts are 100% what my sister' s life has been. I joined this site out of desperation for help.
I dont know whatelse to do.
She is my sister 41, i am 42. She has described her life 100% exactly like yours.
She is beautiful and also very intelligent.
But she has struggled her entire life with things that most people think its easy to be done. As a teenager she was always home and now that her illness is totally obvious a simple grocery shopping day kills us.
I could talk to you for days. She has also lost many jobs, she said she feels a preassure in her head, a panic of leaving the house.

Two weeks ago she was diagnosed Hypo tryroid, 0.38. Her doctor says thyrois is one of the main causes of deep depression.

But on her manic phase she becomes somebody else. A person that I dont recognize.
It usually happens during spring to summer every two years.

At the moment she feela like you. Life has no light. She has a 9 year old super smart child and nothing ia a reason for happiness.
She is on Latuda, Adderol, Welbutin and nothing seems to work.
I give her all.my support..i cut my work in half just so we can spend time together as a family. I know that if i am around she is a lot more motivated. She says when i am gone she doesnt want to do.anything.
I hope we all find a solution for our lives.

Wow, please PM me, I would love to talk with you more.

I do get the depressive stuff too.
I am envious of you having friends. I'm working my ass off trying to keep the few I have and forcing myself into situations where I might meet others that I can get along with our better yet become friends with. I am envious of that

Hopefulsoul, are you bipolar? I'm thinking that perhaps someone that has bipolar has more insight and experience of that disorder than someone that is interpreting their relative's illness?

The families & friends of bipolar board is at
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/family-friends-of-bipolar

Can you introduce me to some of those folks who handle single parenting easily? I have met a few who make it look desirable on the outside, but they sure tell a different story when I open my ears for a listening spell. They, too, fall into bed at every opportunity. It is an exhausting gig. Support needed, even without mental illness added to the dynamics.

Gentlest of support and validation, JM. Sort freely. Sort often. Delegate when you can.

Hi and Welcome mom4.... this is a great group.... I'm glad that you're here..... I ended up having to go onto disability after working for many years
I was taking too much sick time and my memory started to be effected a lot.... sigh.... It was a huge decision for me as well.... Big hug......xo

I am noticing a lot of memory challenges also, and I have such a hard time completing things now. It's like there is a block there.

Justlendmom4 welcome. You know being a single mom without a Mental Illness is no picnic, it takes a lot of energy, stamina, and the ability to adjust quickly to any situation. Now we BiPolar's don't usually have all of those things in excess at the same time.

If your managing your BiPolar and doing the treatment that is necessary, which is daily medication and regular Therapy that would be the first step in your being able to do things well. Next is just a lot of organization and planning....those are a couple of the "secrets" that allow us Single Mom BiPolar's to work, handle our kids, and still have time to do what we need to do to take care of us.

When I used to be married and my children were young my husband worked offshore on an Oilrig, he was gone for 2 weeks, then home for 2 weeks. So every 2 weeks I had to do it all for my boys, work, get them to activities, school, etc. I've always been a pretty ocd/organization/list freak..lol...its served me pretty well. Each Sunday evening I would lay out the boys clothes for the week, plan dinners for the week, make out the schedule of work, school drop offs and pickups, after school activities like soccer. It made things so much easier if there weren't a lot of surprises, if I new what I had to do going in to the week. Having a schedule to look at and go by, gave me guidance.

It sounds like your job might not be the right fit for you. Being BiPolar and working can work well, generally it works best if your doing something you like to do. Have you looked into other types of jobs? Have you looked into things you could do from home? Just a thought.

I hope you find some peace and ease in your day....you can do this, having BiPolar doesn't stop you from being a great mom.

I have the same problem with being addicted to my bed. On the weekends, I get up and eat breakfast, then go right back to lying in bed and being on my computer. God knows what muscle mass I have left. Close to none. Exercise is close to impossible.