Thanks Gina :). Yeah right now I am in the phase where nothing is helping me and I am worried it will be this way forever. It's been months and I still haven't been able to re-adjust to the "real" world.

It took a long time.......... then when meds worked! I was still stuck : )

Hang out with us! Just know, this is not your life - next June 25 - you could be at the beach, or Disney World! LOL

it's awful that it's a choice between really high & feeling like the living dead..that's the whole point of getting stabilised..a better compromise so you get your zest back..are not sky high but not a zombie either. & not feel drugged & depleted.

You can level off too low (I have)...so ok, you're not manic & are 'better' in that sense but you can't live like that either..not bearable. Med adjustments help...a competent doctor help. That's all I got x

LOL my boyfriend lives a block off the beach and I could go body boarding right now if I wanted but I just have no desire to do anything on my own these days :(. Someone always has to push me. Only thing I do is go for walks. I need to force myself to shower right now. It's really bad :(. Today I have not left the apartment at all. I just have zero desire :(

LMAO! We could have a thread - on lack of self care, in particular "showering" Big depression thingy : )

Your not sentenced to limbo - your just there right now! One day, this will be funny - again, not right now.....

oh I used to be quite witty. I have lost my sense of humor as well since my break :(.

Well, you could try and giggle at my shit - till yours returns.... : )

I am on the wrong board Krystal but just wanted to let you know there is a light at the end of the tunnel - my two grown children have had experiences similar to yours with their bipolar - your depression will lift - it just takes time - my son was depressed for 8 months and then his new meds kicked in full force and he has been fine for years - hang in there

Thanks guys. I have just been so down and feeling so helpless and useless lately. I just don't know what to do with myself :(. I can't eve decide what to go to school for. To be honest I'd probably be content in a very low stress job, like running rides at an amusement park like I used to do when I was 19 but it doesn't pay much. I am getting more on disability right now! I just have no clue what I'm gonna do what my life :(. What career I am going to do or am I just going to be disabled forever? I could not fathom working right now, or even going to school. My mind just doesn't feel like it's all there right now if that makes sense :(.

Your depressed, trying to plan your life - not swift....

Do the next right thing, venting here and trying to do more! One foot in front of the other..

(((BIG HUG)))) Wishing you peace and comfort ASAP!!!!

It goes get better. See your doctor regularly and take your medication.

I rarely hear voices but I am constantly seeing hallucinations all the time. It used to be shadow creatures and shadow people now it is all sorts of light colored creatures and people. Sometimes they are very startling but most of the time I just accept the bizarre reality.

He Krystal,

Welcome to the group. We are a pretty nice group of people. Hang around the board & online. I have done it plenty myself when I'm not feeling well...distraction helps.

Here is my story.

I wasn't sleeping more than 2-4 hours a night for 3 weeks but had been working up to it for months.

I felt entirely powerful and wonderful. My mind was as sharp as a tack and I knew instinctively how to handle everything. I had tons of energy and walked late at night and swam every day. I would work all sorts of long hours. Never ran out of energy.

Somehow, I was still working. But I also had bizarre beliefs that I kept to myself. I knew they weren't right or normal. I thought to myself, "well if I do ____________, how will I explain it to my priest?" LOL... I eventually shared my thoughts with my husband and then my pdoc.

After about 5 months on medication, I started thinking more clearly...it was painful to find out that the crazy ideas I had held were manufactured by my sick brain.

I had thought that my husband had planted the ideas in my head. When I realized it was all me and my brain, I mourned. It was a shock to think that my brain could betray me so. I hurt some people along the way and did some shocking things too....but knowing that my brain betrayed me was really hard.

I did have a massive depression following this.

Antipsychotics did help to bring me back to a better place. Be patient. Like everyone says, it takes time to find the right med/s and dosages.

Best advice---got easy on yourself, BUT, be sure you go through the motions of caring for yourself--eating, taking meds, brushing teeth, shower, etc. Make sure you get enough sleep. Keep your doctor's appointments. And good nutrition---it can help your brain and body heal.

Therapy can help you to learn how to cope with this brave new world.

Sorry to be so long winded. :p

take good care and ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

-What is a physicians assistant & are they legally allowed to prescribe medications such as celexa? You mentioned that this person was fired....

-were you unmonitored for the subsequent 10 weeks by the doctor you went to see initially? Did you have any follow up appointments? (as would be standard practice)

You may have grounds for a lawsuit is all. Just thought I'd point that out.

I became psychotic while I was manic. When the mania went away I became depressed and the psychosis for the most part stayed on for a year.

When I finally was well enough to "let go" of the psychosis, I can remember feeling let down. It became apparent that the DEA was not monitering my every movement and there were not spies watching me at all times. I was not "important."

I have been well for a few years now for the most part and I am so glad it is gone. It was so real in my head even now sometimes I think "what if". Then reality takes back over and I know that what I believed could not possibly be real and was physically impossible in some cases.

Your depression will go away, it just takes some time.