Stay strong. This storm will pass, and you will be stronger once these difficult feelings subside. (((Hugs))))

Keep talking to us, we will listen. It's your disease that wants to do this. Tell me about yourself. I have been in your place.

I'm trying. I really am. I just keep thinking of other ways to do it. I don't know how I'd handle another failed attempt. Nothing really triggered this spell it just came on all at once. I don't even have a counselor to talk to. I feel so alone in the fight

Can you call your psychiatrist and see if you can see them today? This is emergency. Or go to the ER.

Gentlest of validation, Kisses. It is a tough spot to be in. Validating feelings through suicidal thoughts is. . . Ouchie? Foggy? Guesswork? Just breathe.

I suffered my last full round of suicidal ideation in the late 90's and. . . Remembering it still gives me the sensation of being caught in quicksand. The harder I fight, the faster I sink. . .

Gentlest of support while you find your way out. Easy does it.

Hi, Kisses. I agree with SusieQ. This is a real emergency, and you need a pdoc and a therapist who will listen to you. Do you have any friends you can turn to who will listen and not judge or try to fix this problem? Hugs
Lynnie

OK this is just my opinion. I think you are feeling suicidal bcs you have been rejected and abandoned by your therapist? She has closed that door. As I said I don't know her code of conduct bit some therapists will cease therapy if someone tries to take their own life. But concerns me is how are you processing those feeling of rejectment and abandonment? Are they particularly strong bcs of old unhealed wounds from your past? For e.g I was rejected by my mother and any tegection I feel now, perceived only, of true. It opens up those old childhood wounds. Again this is just my honest opinion. You say no trigger but there has been an accumulation of stress too lately. I this k all of this is what has outvthe strain on you and making some part of you want to die. Remember it is inky one part and that part can flget better. We are here to support youvso write away. And forgive me, if I'm wrong, then I'm wrong xx

Sorry for the typos, I hope you understand what it is I am saying.xx

Thank you everyone for you kind caring. I confided in a nurse at work who ended up calling my mom. I have an apointment with my Pdoc in an hour do well see what happens from there

Oh I am so glad you are seeing your psych doc in an hour.

Hey there, it's ok. Why do you feel you have no purpose? I have been there too, and recently, when I received some devastating news. But now I'm doing a lot better. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I'm glad you were able to confide in the nurse, and she was able to get a hold of your mom and psychiatrist.

So dr is writing me off work for ten days and then only allowing me 16 hrs a week. I'll be going back to an intensive outpatient program at the hospital. At least it keeps me from going inpatient. Pretty much in gonna sleep as much as I can while I can. Mom told dr she doesn't want me sleeping and bless him, the dr told mom to let me sleep till I work through this! So I am home in my own bed and I am safe. I go to the hospital tomorrow to see about the outpatient program. Thank you all for your quick responses.

I was at the mercy of suicidal thoughts since childhood. As an adult, I made three attempts to kill myself. The second and third time I almost succeeded. Was comatose and drs. were not at all sure I would make it. One of my suicide attempts left me disabled in my right foot and both hands. Due to massive overdoses, I had seizures and small stroke. I say all this to convince you that suicide rarely works and often leaves you worse off. BUT THERE IS HOPE. I am now reasonably happy and found two medications that control my bipolar. Private message me if you want. I'm here for you!

Oh, on reading this response of mine, I see it needs some explanation. Although my hands were disabled in 2005, they have been rehabilitated. Obviously I can type, which makes me very happy. My right foot, however, could not be rehabilitated.