When i was in the ER February 16th 2025, i was being admitted to ICU where i was for 3 weeks, then had to relearn to walk for 3 weeks in another hospital rehab floor, the nurse told me something that made me feel for over 18 months now that i was finally *safe*. She told me that the guy who raped and beat me 21 years ago now  almost 20 years at that time, was in prison as of a month before that and had 10 years before he could get parole. That he had gone after someone with a weapon and she went thru with the trial. I found out today that it was all lies. She could have had put me in huge danger. Hes a paramedic. For the main ambulance service where we live. I had thought all this time he was in prison and i was safe. But im not and hes not....... If i had needed an ambulance, what if he had been the one to respond????? No way in hell would i go anywhere with him! It was down at the hospital before and at the old ambulance service where he and his dad worked that neither were to respond to the calls for me. That had not been set up with this new one and i told the hospital i no longer needed that down. How can i ever feel safe again?????? How can i trust medical people anymore??????? I feel so betrayed and the flashbacks are back and im so dang anxious! My anxiety meds are doing nothing! I feel so vulnerable now........I am planning my wedding thats coming up soon and then now i have this to deal with as well.... I dont know how to feel safe again????? I just dont know what to do or how to feel better about this or what to do or how to handle this etc. I did call my psycharists nurse and let her know so she can fill him in, sent an email to my thearpist who i see wednesday and left a voicemail for my Mental health case manager. I let my AA sponsor know whats going on as well and i just dont know how to calm down or deal or anything. I had been where i dont even get flashbacks or panic attacks with female exams and now i feel back to being vulnerable and hyperviligent! I just want the feeling of safety back! How can a nurse lie like that and about something that big??????? I dont know what to do! I am tempted to call the patient advocate at the hospital about her but dont want issues if i land in the ER again at some point. Thankfully my health has been much better lately! I just i dont know my head is so jumbled up right now! I am just so anxious nad panicky feeling i cant stand this! I dont want to leave my home! I want to stay inside where its safer!