can you get yourself somewhere safe -bed(my safe place), to some place with people, call the hospital you were just in, have someone come to you, your tdoc isn't calling until after 6pm, that's a long time in the scheme of things. I'm sitting here in a fog with little mo, a lovely fox terrier and now you and a pot of coffee. do you take milk in yours? sit down, there's plenty of room on my bed, don't mind the still unpacked suitcase and the bloody dog hairs!

Her Irish. I have to go to work in an hour and I can’t lay down cause the dogs keep playing on top of me. I really want coffee too. I do take milk in mine and three sugars. I know I can hang on until my t calls me this evening. My pills are in my moms room unlocked and so easy to get to. I bought a pill crusher to make swallowing them easier. Just put them in applesauce and done. I just want to be normal and not afraid to live. I don’t know how I’m gonna survive this holiday season

I am pretty convinced it really is *just* a symptom of the illness. In dealing with symptoms, the earlier you can catch it, the easier it is to manage and more is better when it comes to gaining support. Your therapist can't honestly support you without your honesty in talking to her.

If you figure out how to just pass over the entire holiday season, let me know. That's pretty high on my personal wish list, as well. As it is, I'm *just* polishing my therapy tools and battening the hatches for the annual onslaught. Sigh. . .

you must find a reason to hold on for you, you can't live for other people, you'll end up resenting them for it. you have a purpose like everyone on this planet you're already fulfilling some of it by helping all the people you have helped here (me included) so do not sell yourself short..

anticipatory axiety, that is one we are all familiar with, can you make a list of all the stressors around the holidays and think of ways to have back up/avoid them/ go for a short time/ say no/ please you and choose the things to do that really give you pleasure/have your good solid reasons all lined up in advance/reduce stress as much as you possibly can. my constant phrase to my kids for the last number of years is 'whatever works for everyone and is stress free' and has been working. hope this helps.

Hey kisses...good for you to go to work!!! That Is Huge!! Yes I get the holiday stuff, I too would like it to be February, valentines day .... that one is No Pressure. Some where in the grand scheme of life you will find your way..yes many wondering roads, getting lost is all part of the travel. Agree with Arfie, being honest with your therapist is important. Hang in there this too shall pass but not fast enough, it's hard...just remember other times you've been in this place and come out ok....wondering if the downward plunge has anything to do with the 'high energy' of a couple of weeks ago?

kisses, seriously you need to get those pills as an option right out of your head, they won't kill you but could leave you with nerve damage, organ damage and other dreadful life changing results that you definitely do not want to have to live with on top of everything else. please take that option off the table. I have seen the results and they are not at all pleasant and i would not wish them for you under any circumstances. just try and get through work and keep posting. something is bound to change.

Once I decided that I really wanted to live the main thing that helped me was Negative Thought Stopping techniques. It's simple and effective, worked very well for me.
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/positive-thinking-stopping-unwanted-thoughts

I’ll ask my therapist about negative thoughts stopping. I’m afraid and frustrated and mixed up. This sucks

This is my bad time o year too. I'm glad you have something to look forward too. It's good you came to us for help. Big hugs!

Hey Kisses I'm sorry things have come to this so quickly after a hospital stay that's a bummer for sure. When ever I get out of the hospital I'm "fragile" for longer than I think is OK. I can't handle stress very well and I feel easily frustrated and overwhelmed...Could some of that be happening for you?

I don't know about you but "Suicidal" feelings come up big time for me when HALT is happening...Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? If yes is the answer my self-care is lagging and that needs to be more on top of things.

I encourage you to be honest with your therapist no matter what. If that means going back into the hospital so be it. I would find your harming yourself in a suicidal plan beyond upsetting to me and I encourage you to keep reaching out...none of this is easy Kisses (((hugs)))

I don’t know what to do. I’m overwhelmed with crochet projects and work “work” both of which have a fast approaching deadline and little progress has been made. I’m frustrated and disheartened and depressed because I have no money for the holidays. And no friends. It just sucks

Big hug for you sweetie..... You don't have to do projects right now if you're not up to it sweetie.... Give yourself some time off if you need it

I'm so glad that you're going to be honest with your therapist

When I've written that I take suicide off of the table as an option ... I've done that BUT that doesn't mean you don't still have the thoughts coming at you at times

So if I do and it's strong the thing I have to do then is 'what will help combat suicidal thinking, planning etc' and it's being totally honest with my mental health professionals no matter what I'm thinking about and recognizing when I need help

Gentle hug sweetie..... I think you are working so hard on you and I know it's hard..... You're brave.....xo

Overwhelmed is a place I visit frequently. In my own life the procrastination leads me to anxiety, then I numb, then I go to the guilt place and I'm no good. Today at IOP I had a breakthrough I'd like to share with you.

Many many times I've become my own worst enemy because ""I set myself up for failure""".... how...making unrealistic goals....sends me right to the rabbit hole! Today we did an exercise about what blocks us from reaching and obtaining what we want in our life...the breakthrough for me was the word "Goal"...so many times I've failed. I decided to change the goal word to "Gift" because by doing this, I remove the 'have to's, should, etc.' which lead to the hole...so now I'm Giving Myself Gifts and feeling much less pressure!

I also listen to meditations to remove negative thinking on utube...ya got to find what works for you kisses...it's a process as is putting one foot in front of the other as you do each day despite the pain in your head. Take care, ml

I just don’t want to live anymore. It’s the little and big things it’s so overwhelming I have no one in my corner. I’m over it