I am also confused. Why does he have access to your student loan money? Why don't you have an account with only your name on it? My hubby and I have had separate accounts for over 15 years, and it stopped us from fighting about money. If he really needs money to pay the bills, get him to show you the bills first. Make sure it is your half, or your responsibility. I think you need to get marriage counseling. You need to sort this out. I don't think you should separate, until you find out exactly what is happening financially. As someone said, you will be responsible for paying back the loan, so you need to know exactly where it is going. I hope things get better. Take control of your finances. You can even do on-line banking, and he won't be able to get into your account. Good luck!

I feel for you dear. I'm not in a good position either.

You seem to have more going for you though because you are able to go to school and have a career. You also haven't been drained of all of your money yet.

Trust me, do what ever you must to not be penniless. Don't let him take all of your money like my husband did. Now I'm just stuck.

I know it's not easy to leave even if our husbands are asses, but you might want to consider it. If I could go back in time I wouldn't have allowed him to talk me into spending my retirement money. I wouldn't have even taken it out.

After it is gone it is simply too late and you are left with only regret.

Good luck,
T

I could see why he might ask for help with the bills but his demanding it is ridiculous. he sounds like a real jerk. i hope things work out for you. you really dont need that kind of stress.

I am going to be a bit blunt here. I have read a lot of your posts and they all follow the same thread. You are married to an abuser and it will never get better as long as you remain it that situation. I don't say this lightly nor do I take it likely. I was in a very bad situation once with a man I thought I loved and when it turned bad I froze and just lived it not knowing what to do. I was a kid, living on my own putting myself through college and working at night. I had support from my grandmother but couldn't bring myself to tell her what was going on and he never left marks in places that could be seen. I didn't have the resources, education, smarts or support that I do now as a "grown up". You are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself you just have to want to. Having BP does not mean you have to be with an abusive man.