It's hard to think about what your loved one would want in situations you never thought you needed to know until they're gone. Just know whatever you decide to do this the right thing because you are taking into consideration what you know about them and that's guiding your decisions.

Big hug for you Noone... I am so sorry for your loss and all that went with it .... So many upsetting things to think about

There is a Widows and Widowers group on here that's a good and supportive group.... I'll give you a link to it.... xo

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/widows-widowers

It is most people who plan for weddings, plan for holidays, plan for parties...all the good things in life. Very few plan foe the worst. You are not alone in not being ready. Most of us never thought it would happen and yet here we are. Take heart that you thinking about if she would be happy means you are doing it with love so it will be the right thing to do.
Don't be angry with yourself...you need to put emotion into positive things you can do. When we are already at a low...the worst thing we can do is blame ourselves and get angry...it will only make taking one step at a time more difficult.
Walk forward...you can still say goodbye to her...write a letter to her or whisper to her heart all that you wanted to say....she will hear it.
Wishing you light in your dark hour
WR xxx

Please don't blame yourself. Did you know that she loved you? I would assume the answer is yes. You loved her, you will always do the right thing when it is born out of that love, respect and well wishes to do the right thing by her. The unfortunate part is that while we celebrate new life with a new baby, we put off planning and facing the end of life.

Death is a very normal part of life, however, it seems to take us back a few steps when it happens during a time that we don't expect. I'm sorry you are experiencing loss. I am too. It sucks! The would have, should have, why, why, why's come, but I have to remind myself of TRUTH. I loved her, she loved me, we trusted each other in our relationship to always do the right thing.

Rest easy in the fact that you are trying to do the best you can in a stressful, trauma situation. Give yourself a break. Your loved one would want you to love on yourself and be good to you! Blessings my friend... this is not easy!!

Thank you for your thoughts. I talk to her all the time. I know she hears me. I water the flowering plants. I had forgotten they would flower this time of year. It is important to keep those things going. I put up the Christmas tree. It does not mean as much this year but she would have liked having it decorated. I made a wreath for the front door. It is sometimes I always did. She would want me to continue the simple things that meant so much to both of us. I send you hope for a peaceful day.