I am only in my second month of grieving the loss of my son and his wife in a double fatality car wreck. but I'm not making *plans* to *get over it* any time soon, if ever, especially since I inherited 3 orphans (6, 3 and 10 months) out of the deal. ^It^ is on my list of the NFF (No Fucking Fair) deals life keeps handing me.

I have a long, gory herstory of mental health problems and my *plan* is to ply the same psychotherapy tools to this NFF deal that I have plied to the rest of my NFF List. DS is part of that active therapy program and though this particular forum is slower than cold molasses, there are allot of far more active forums available here. I hope you'll take the time to surf around and see if some of the other forums might resonate with your needs.

So far, the children have had priority in this crisis, but I am also looking for a live grief support group. Sometimes a body needs a flesh and blood shoulder to cry on.

Gentle support while you find what works for you, D&O.

I am so sorry you lost your son and daughter in law. We lost our 22 year old son in 2017 due to a heart defect that we never knew he had because it never turned up on a physical exam, our son-in-law committed suicide in April of this year and now I lost my wife. A real triple whammy. Words fail. If I can ever be there for you let me know.

Thank you, D&O. With the needs of the 3 orphans and the shock of starting a second parenting career in place of quaint retirement notions, I'm not at all sure Hubs and I have fully registered our personal grief.

Words do, indeed, fail. Some things live beyond words.

Between October, 2016 and April, 2017, our family went through the deaths of my father-in-law and my estranged brother and mother. The *haunting* has intensified during the most recent loss. Cumulative effect?

I don't know what to say. Your profile was painful to read and then you are going through a similar situation to mine one right after another. How much pain, hurt and anguish are we supposed to endure? I do not necessarily believe in the sermon and teachings of Jonathan Edwards, the 18th century theologian, who believed that we are sinners in the hands of an angry god. I believe in a god that dances the joy of the Beautitudes. I do not believe in a god sitting up there throwing down thunderbolts at us either. At these crossroads, it is truly a faith testing and humbling experience to know that despite our best efforts, eventually we all face our own mortality. I simply have to believe that my Maria is waiting for me to join her when our Lord calls me.

Big hug for you D&O ….. I am so very sorry for your loss(s) and the pain that you're in

If you get a chance read the book The Shack....It's probably the best book I've ever read and helped me a great deal with the grief process.... It's also a film but the film would seem odd if you didn't read the book first

I bought it second hand from Amazon as it was recommended to me

Anger is a secondary emotion so something has caused it so in that realm I think that the anger can make a lot of sense

I don't think that we ever 'get over' it.... We work through it over time..... I found that gratitude has been a great tool for me

I've not lost a life partner but my birth family

There is a good Widows and Widowers board on here.... People are in different stages of healing on it

As Arf wrote there are different and more active boards... You can look under My Groups at the top of the page

I'm give you a link for the W&W..... Another hug and a blessing......xo

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/widows-widowers

Thank You. I am in the W&W group. That was the first one I joined!

A RL Bereavement group might be helpful to connect with people who have lost their partner as well..... Peer support can be so helpful.... xo