I understand your problem. Yes this very common.When I lost my 17 yr old daughter Miranda ,I lost interest in everything,and I do mean everything. Sometimes I would'nt shower or do my hair for 3-4 days,I did'nt want to eat.I didnt want to talk to anyone,I kept my blinds closed,and did'nt answer phone. I make stained glass,I would'nt even look at it for months,I love to cook and did'nt even do that,if I did i would'nt do my dishes for days. All of this was totally against my nature,I always had a clean house,and most definitly showered every day. It took awhile but I have came out of most of it. But all you can do is take one day at a time,and don't rush yourself. No matter what anyone says there is NO time line for greif.Be good to yourself.((((((HUGS)))))

i dont worry about it anymore. i just dont do what i dont have the energy to do. grief like this is major stress, and i will only do what i can. the house isnt that important right now. love, marianne

What you all have written here is completely normal. I am sure all of you have heard about the stages of grief. The one where you need every ounce of energy just to get outta bed in the morning is called "SORROW"...It is very similar to depression. How long you remain in this stage is a very personalized event. Sometimes grief counseling and or anti-depressants can help you. Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of my brother's funeral and also would have been his 42nd birthday. It was the first time I could talk to my mother on this day and not cry ourselves to sleep. The pain never goes away. You just find another way to deal with it. Good Luck and GOD Bless

i wish i could help but my home is the same right now an i use to beabile to eat off my floors that is how clean it was we can just keep praying that some day it will get better

Grief is such a taxing experience that it's hard to get motivated to do the mundane things sometimes. I try to take it in bite-size pieces on the days that are challenging and do more on the days I'm feeling ok. I guess doing one little thing is better than doing nothing at all.

Also, is there anyone who can help you on a temporary basis? Sometimes having someone along for the ride can get you motivated.

And it's weird...looks like you have the same name as my mother, who died 6/21 and whose death is the reason I joined DS.

Since my father passed away about a year ago I too am having the same difficulty in keeping up with life. If it wasn;t for disability I wouldn;t have a roof over my head. Even though my dad did not live with me he was still close enough to where I feel the pain of missing him like a part of me has died along with him too. I am told just to make a decision to get moving and do what needs to be done even though I know it;s easier said than done. I wish I could offer more other than your not alone with this feeling.

Thanks for the advice. I hope to talking you soon.

It's not motivation that you need. You need time. Keeping your home basically clean is enough for now. There is no reason to push yourself through this, and your home will survive it. I remember the days when I did NOTHING. I sat and cried as dishes, laundry and dirt piled up around me. (I have 2 children at home) I had to honor how I felt, and know that I wouldn't always feel that way. And I don't. I'm happy to say that it all came back, and I'm doing dishes, laundry and such again. This experience is such a short time in the span of your life, do your best to honor it and take care of yourself. Some days that's all you can do. And in the meantime, how about a cleaning service for the short-term? Someone to clean the bathroom, kitchen and such? I know that it sounds far away at this point, but you will get feeling better. You will find your motivation again, and you will move through this. Keep your face to the sky. Thinking of you.

Hello thank you for the advice it was wll taken. Maybe I am pushing thru this and need to slow it down a little.

I finally wrote all the things that had to be done on strips of torn paper and put them in a coffee can. Nothing that would last more than 15 minutes so I broke down every chore into individual steps. Then when I would feel like I could, I would draw one and just do it. I learned not to feel guilt about it not getting done and it actually is...well...mostly conquered. just go with it and don't let it become a source of more pain. You have enough. I'll send good thoughts of strength your way!

Thank You for the advice. Enjoy the rest of the day.

My mom died about two months ago and I am also having problems keeping up with the laundry, the house-celaning, etc. Some days, I don't leave the house because I feel overwhelmed and paralyzed. Other days, it's a little better. I tell myself to take it one day at a time and that these feelings of being paralyzed and unmotivated to do anything pass.
Hugs to you,
Helen

When my Daddy passed, I found that there was nothing that I "needed" to do, but grieve. I allowed myself to do nothing. Sometimes I would just drive my car and scream and cry. Sometimes I would just lay in bed. That was the best I could do that day. There came a time when I could do more, but it wasn't up to me. A change had happened, a bit of a healing, if you will. The grief is still deep but the quality of it has changed so that I can function a little better. Be good to yourself. Grief is the hardest work you will ever do. How can you possibly do more?

i know how your feeling you should see my place i barely have the energy to work some days hang in there

I don't feel so bad now after seeing how many are experiencing the same. Motivation sometimes is there almost like wishful thinking but not put into motion. In grief counseling, I've also heard people experiencing this. I was spoiled rotten by Mom on the housecleaning issue, and once we had Aides for her they helped me there.

JonsKat, I can identify. Last time I scrambled to get the dust off things was in Sept. when we were expecting people.

I'm moving slowly. With the holidays possibly doing a number on me, I decided to wait until the new year to look for work in hopes of some healing.

These lack of motivational feelings are apparently normal, and I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one.