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Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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TMI WARNING: My horrifying sexual experience

meggg22
meggg22

TMI WARNING: This is about a horrible, mortifying sexual experience(consensual). I need advice from my ladies. Desperately. I am so beside myself right now.






I’m looking for my ladies to help me out because I'm suffering from some anxiety from a sexual encounter I just had. Completely consensual, however, it was a horrible experience. So fair warning this post may be disgusting, let me fix that, this will be disgusting. So if you can't handle it, stop reading now. But if you think you can deal with my nasty self, I could really use some advice, or just comfort. This experience was too embarrassing. I don't even know if I can tell my best friend what just happened. But I'm freaking out and I need to tell someone. So thank goodness for the anonymity of the internet.


 


I don't know if this is exactly the right place to post something like this but i'm honestly at a loss of who i can talk to right now. I just had the most uncomfortable, awkward, embarrassing sexual experience of my entire life. 


Long story short, this this boy i’ve been a tad obsessed with for almost four years now, about two years ago we hooked up and got to third base (oral) and i fucking embarrassed myself then because, being super unexpeirenced sexually, at the time i didnt realize i had a yeast infection. It was visible to him, and to this day it still embarrasses me. Because he commented on how I had stuff, down there. Mortified, I didn't hook up with him again, or anyone for ages.


Then, a few months ago we finally hooked up and went all the way, i was extremely drunk so i thought the sex was sloppy and not the best. And that was also embarrassing because I waited all that time, hoping to show him what he had missed, and instead I was a drunk mess. But if i thought that was bad i had no idea what was about to come.


But tonight, oh my fucking god. Talk about a sign to never be involved with this kid again. We're going at it, I said I wasn't going to sleep with him, but i caved and boy do I regret that. Basically, I've never had a full on orgasm. Long story short, he gave me one... and i shit the fucking bed. I'm talking a smelly, rancid shit. i cried and expressed my disgust with myself and obviously he told me it was okay. but i knew it wasn't. I cannot stand to be in my own skin right now. He basically left, after gagging from the smell in front of me a few times. I am absolutely mortified. i don't know what to do with myself. I looked it up and I saw that it's not abnormal. and i guess if i were in a committed relationship it wouldn’t be as bad. But I barely trust this guy and here I am shitting on him. 



OH MY FUCK! i am freaking out, i cannot get this out of my head and i legit want to bash my head to get this moment out of it. I was embarred by my yeast infection for YEARS and now what the fuck am i supposed to do??? Is this going to happen everytime i cum??? oh my god. i dont know what to do. I blocked him on everything i cant stop reliving the moment in my mind. What do i do? Hes in my friend group, and i made him swear he would never say anything but i dont know if i trust him. And even if he doesnt tell anyone, how the fuck am i supposed to face him next time????? IM FREAKING OUT!


 

meggg22
meggg22
How do i get this moment out of my head!!!!!!!!!!!!!
arfie
arfie
I suggest you learn from it make your peace with the facts of biology. As your internet research showed, it is not abnormal. The parts are all connected, whether you study ignorance of the fact or knot. Those particular parts are especially interconnected and less than 6 inches apart.

Congrats on your first orgasm. I hope you don't let this lesson interfere with the future potentials. Even with all the dangers attached, it be a gift of nature.
SouthernGirl917
SouthernGirl917
I had my first child when I was only 18. I was embarrassed about everything and anything and my doctor said something to me that has stuck with my for many years later. She said the human body is natural and not disgusting and she’s right. We all experience things that are embarrassing at some point in our lives whether it’s bleeding through our pants at school or work or having bad gas in a room of people.
I personally have never experienced your issue but that doesn’t mean it’s not natural or normal.
Talk to you OB/GYN about your concerns. You doctor can shed some light on the experience and will give you better advice than anyone else because they are experts and very knowledgeable and understanding.
As for now, it’s okay to feel embarrassed because we all do when something happens to us. Focus on the positives because hey you had your first orgasm so congrats!
meggg22
meggg22
I hear what your saying. Its just so hard being that i took so long to recover from the last embarrassing moment. And now it feels like the doors is shut on this guys forever. I cant get over the fact that he will never look at me the same again. I know this just happened last night, but the moment keeps popping into my head and i just want to hit my head until it goes away. Im worried that this is going to haunt me.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
I hope you are not being literal about bashing your head in about this. This stuff happens. I am sure it is more common than you think. I know someone that this happened to as they were giving birth to their baby.

I would suggest to avoid this happening in the future is to not drink too much before sex, don't have any hard to digest foods... until you feel more comfortable with having sex again.

Also, getting to know the guy more before having sex with him, will make the experience all the more happy and satisfying for you.

But as far as last night, do your best to move on. Don't bring it up to any of your mutual friends. If someone says something, just ignore it. Just go about your daily life. People will forget about it.
meggg22
meggg22
When it happened i was obviously in a panic and i said all these things about being embarrassed and i made him promise not to tell anyone. He seemed to just be telling me what i wanted to hear. Do you think i should text him? or reach out?
Frogsoup
Frogsoup
Maybe you could try kegal exercises? I'm not sure if that would help but it strengthens the muscles in your pelvis and since your butt is right there beside it it could help you tighten them instead of fully relaxing them. Maybe it could've been the alcohol or something you ate that caused it? I really don't think it will happen every time though and if you're worried you could try giving yourself some orgasms maybe get toys or something if you feel it'll help and see how your body reacts then. Honestly it sounds very embarrassing and I've never been through it so I can't give super solid advice but with my experience of very embarrassing things, as time goes by it gets easier to think about and it doesn't upset you as much. Heck maybe someday you'll laugh about it.
arfie
arfie
Absotively I think you should reach out by whatever means you are most comfortable with. I cannot think of a more fully healing way to get past this shock.

Will I be out of line to hope you might even be willing to try for a second orgasm? Now that you are a bit more in tune with this particular side effect, you might be pleased to see how easy it is to factor in. Just in case I haven't thoroughly offended you already, don't forget the condom.

Gentle support, whichever way you decide is best for you.
hyperpgal
hyperpgal
you never know--he could be pretty proud of himself that he gave you such an amazing orgasm--guys are weird! lol--If it were me I would NEVER see him again. lol Unless he called and wanted to go out again--then I'd table the sex for the time being....

But yeah--just know that every single person on the planet will have or has already had something happen to them that is pretty mortifying. so it isn't just you. and I am sure being drunk did you no favors-so don't do that one again--be present.
meggg22
meggg22
I actually ended up seeing him today. He texted my roommate to pick up his wallet that he left. Which upset me, i was pissed he couldnt text me about it. So when he showed up i confronted him outside and i was really really nervous and already had a text typed out. In fear of embarrassing myself any further and saying something without thinking, i asked him to read it. Afterwords he told me we were okay and we hugged it out. Initially i felt better, and he stayed for a bit and hung out with my roommate and i and things seemed fine. But when he left my anxiety set in and i began to wonder if that was lame to make him read it, maybe i shoulve read it to him? maybe i shouldve been more brave and just talked. Maybe he didnt even read it and just skimmed it. and he will never have read the sincerity i put into that. Im much better communicator when i can write out how i feel.
hyperpgal
hyperpgal
who cares if it was lame--its an awkward situation...you did what you had to do to express yourself...stop mentally beating yourself up!! you are a good person-right?...he texted your roommate because it was awkward...you wrote a text because it was awkward...so you are even :-) go see if you can get interested in a movie--or book or some kind of project so you don't spend the next few hrs beating yourself up....give yourself a break.
meggg22
meggg22
Thank you, i watched silence of the lambs for the first time - that did help :)
Sophiasmom06
Sophiasmom06
I agree with the Kegels to improve pelvic muscle tone. talk to your GYN and have her examine you to make sure your tone in that sphincter is normal. Also if you have an undiagnosed GI problem, like lactose intolerance, or gluten sensitivity, or even inflammatory bowel disease, this can affect your likelihood to have an accident. So sorry this happened to you! I once passed gas during it, but I think I was too stoned to react too much, same with my BF.

yes, distraction from the memory and time will help.
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