Hey there, I know the last time I put anything it was about the fear that I was losing my friends, but tonight I'm just in my thoughts and only in fear of what the future has for me. In a little more than two weeks I begin the start of trial for my sexual assualt case and I haven't been so terrified in so long. I know I'm going to have those dearest to me there for support, but I catch myself having nightmares again, the constant fear that the monster that destroyed me will someday find me, and I don't know how to cope with any of this. I have noticed that I have gotten to the point where no one can see the fear in my eyes, voice, body language, or even just in the way I look over my shoulder 24/7. My biggest fear is getting up on that stand and just freezing, it has been months since I have had to tell my FULL story of that night and I'm losing hope that they will just finally put him away for the longest time possible, or even at all for that matter. I know I still have time before the actual day to get up there and speak up, but I'm just fearful that I won't be strong enough to do any more than going to the police that night. Someone help... Please