Meds help me control the anxiety and get a good night's sleep.
I try to turn my worry in a positive direction, e.g., what can I do to things turn out better?
Music distracts my brain from unhealthy thoughts.
Hope this helps.

Is it normal to feel relaxed without constant worry? I don't believe Henry David Thoreau was the first to observe that most humans lead lives of quiet desperation. Other great philosophers have theorated that most of the world's woes are generated by people unable to sit quietly with themselves.

I'll leave all that to the experts and say that inside my own over-thinking habits, the biggest problem with fighting with myself is that there is no hope of escaping my opponent. Even if I kill myself, I still take myself with me when I go.

Sigh. . . God please grant me patience. NOW, GODDAMMIT! ! !

You are going through a big transition from being with someone and relating to them in your life and now the change is you are focusing on you and getting back to a solo sense of identity. What do you think your anxiety is about? How do you make sense of it.? Therapy can take time. Sending peace but also the idea that your coping with a loss and a change, so give yourself time.

I have a hard time with getting good sleep when I’m feeling anxious. What if you used that time when you get up at 4:00 or 5:00 to do some yoga, exercise, meditation etc. It might help you redirect or reset and use that time for self care. Just an idea for turning it into a positive. I start work around 7:00 and I always get up earlier than needed to have time to relax, get my head on straight. I often go for a walk or get in the treadmill.

It feels quite difficult when you start off especially because a lot of the thoughts you have had are kept to yourself.

One thing that may help in the moments where you wake up anxious is to get up and write down all of the thoughts running through your head from insecurities to the items you need on your shopping list or even an appointment you need to go to.
That aspect may help as then all thoughts are on physical paper and you can tell yourself "ok now that it's written down I don't need to look at it until later"

Another aspect which may help the anxious feeling is that it might be excess energy, moving your body around to your favourite music as tummybulge mentioned could get rid of that unsettling energy level or even walking around the block might help in those moments if your neighbourhood is safe :)

Safe neighborhood. I am not an early riser I know I have to make changes to engage in the world but my mind and body just want to retreat. I don't really listen to music believe it or not during this time it is a trigger for me. Like if I hear a love song I compare it to my relationship and start worrying if I hear a happy song I feel like I am never doing to be happy. Which I find sad that I can't even listen to music or watch a drama without my anxiety going up. Does that ever happen to anyone ?

That's happened to me before, I could be watching a video or listening to music and my mind will create five different connections which then lead to a past experience that lead to the thought "I will never be loved for who I am"

I don't know if its a similar pattern to what you have gone through though as yours might be more straight forward than mine. (I relate my thought pattern to my ADHD as well as anxiety but anyone reading feel free to correct me or provide further insight).

In moments like that it's ok to find something else to do that will distract you there are way more activities to do other than music and it is all about finding the right one for you.

Even within music you could try and create a playlist of safe songs maybe or even find non-lyric based songs such as lo-fi to provide yourself with background noise :)

Non-music activities could include crafts or art in general such as illustration, paint, sculpture (the feeling of clay can be quite relaxing when I can get some).

Maybe even a sport or exercise DVD. or a 10 minute workout video on youtube.

Have you mentioned to your therapist that some pieces of music give you anxiety?
They may not be able to tell you exactly what to do as that's not how their role works but they be able to offer techniques for you to try or another perspective regarding the music that triggers you :)
There's no pressure to tell him by the way, it is when ever you are ready :)

But if you are up because of your anxiety then why not try to use that time to do something positive for yourself. I’m not talking about engaging the world but self care in the moment.

I think people are just trying to show you that there are tricks you can apply to help redirect.

Find what you can tolerate. If not music, silence. If not silence, a pod cast. Perhaps guided meditation or nature sounds. Or maybe just get moving. Literally getting up and taking a quick walk can help. Sometimes when I’m in a deep state of anxiety, just going into another room can kind of nudge my thinking out of that loop of anxious thoughts.

There is no one right way. Try different things and see where it takes you.

Music is often tied to emotions so it makes sense it could evoke melancholy or sadness. I personally find music really therapeutic but if I’m feeling sad, I’m not going to listen to music that is melancholy or reminds me of how sad I am for instance. That would be torturing myself.

I'm a constant always worrying about little things people close to me have mentioned it to me lately it's just part of your personality don't let it get Cloud your conscience relationships jobs can be hard to juggle but it is possible just take time for yourself when you need it

My problem is I don't di much self care when I am like this. I do more for myself when I am in a better state of mind but right now my self esteem is low and talk not nice to myself and think I don't deserve anything. Like what good am I I know that is anxiety and depression talking but how do I get out of that cycle is what I am trying to break

One thing I have heard which holds true for me is sometimes you can't wait for the motivation to kick in but instead do something to kick the motivation in and it can be really difficult.

That's where a timer in some sense can help because you then only push yourself to do something for a short amount of time and that can then kick into something longer :) And if it doesn't no pressure you can do something else instead :)

I've sent a link to the video self care list that I look to when I'm feeling overwhelmed and can't manage things. If you don't like the video itself they also provide a pdf in the description of the checklist which can help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKigm4NP7ko

rmb is right though, there is no right way to do things its all about finding the steps that work for you and keeping note so you can try them again when moments like this return.

It is worth noting to yourself that when your self esteem is low that is when the self care is most detrimental to changing the outcome of how your body is being looked after in that state. It's nice to do when you feel good but necessary when you don't, Possibly thinking about it in that state can help with rationalising why you need to self care when you are at your low points.

I will try meditating to go to bed tonight. But really try with turning off all electronics and try to relax and not think about anything. And just self care.

Write in your journal. Writing it all out will help get thoughts out of your mind and on to paper.

Write in it before you go to sleep. If you wake up too early, write some more.

Writing it out will help with the racing thoughts.

I am writing and speaking to my counselor but since my thoughts are the same racing thoughts I don't write everything.

I wish you well with the meditation :) sometimes the act of physically relaxing your body through extended breathing techniques can aid with your mindset :)
You are worthy of giving yourself selfcare :)