Autism, ranges from very high functioning to very severe, temper tantrums, moody etc.

I went to school with autistic people......And friends of ours, have a down syndrome son who is autistic, and noon-verbal, (I have seen the uggly side of him) u can understand some stuff, not much, It's frustrating, for him, cause, he wants to be able to teach people younger then him how to do thing's, But he doesn't know how.. But, they are teaching us, in ways we don't understand, How to be patient, kindness caring, and humility.

With any disability the key is, patient's, they have good days and bad.

But Yah, there is alot of anxiety there, And yah, They do get frustrated, The best thing You can do is, support, they also need alot of support.

I also look more into it, research it, It is a complex disability..

They do ghost You, You didn't do anything wrong

The friendship is workable, Just be understanding and supportive

hello zeke. welcome to daily strength.

to my mind, all friendships are workable, even when it takes increased social distances to make them work. my own anxiety levels are my own measure on how much social distance i need for making a relationship work. trying to figure out why other people do what they do or what they might be thinking is more work than i can accomplish. reading my own anxiety levels is far more accurate and easier to work with.

but that is me and every friendship is unique.

steadying support while you find what works for you. welcome aboard.

No. If someone makes you feel anxiou it's not "your anxiety" that is a problem. It's their toxic presence triggering you.

This is one of the many failures of treating anxiety like a medical problem. A lot of time people and situations make us anxious because they ate wrong for us. You are only gaslighting yourself by blaming your anxiety.

Why do you want to be their friend.

I would protect my mental state before trying a new friendships that was starting out wishy washy.
But that’s just me. Keeping my anxiety manageable has to be a priority and I agree that our anxiety is there for a reason it’s letting us know we are in an unsafe predicament. Listen to what it’s telling you .

We can’t fix or change other people. This guy might be what I call an acquaintance rather than a close friend. I’d say work on meeting new people and accept him for how he is. Since he ghosts you, know he’s not reliable to make plans with. Or make plans knowing 50-50 chance he will ghost and the plans don’t happen. This is not being mean, it’s being more self-protective and less codependent in trying to make him change to be good friend material at this time.

zeke,

I also have worked with them, and can tell You, they like autistic folks like to do their own.......Have You talked the person's parent/gaurdien about your concerns?

I used this weekend to back off and think about how I need to first set my boundaries to stay in a good place mentally. I'm going to research more about the autistic condition, perhaps finding the tools I might use for my way of support. @guitarman79, your comment "they are teaching us, in ways we don't understand, How to be patient, kindness caring, and humility" really hit home. It made me think about being in their shoes and having someone give up on me.

I'll see where this goes. Thank you all for your comments and sharing.

Hi Zeke,
Having boundaries that protect us is important no matter what psychological ability/disability the other person might have. I've come to the conclusion that having anxiety means that our brains a more active when it comes to picking up/personalizing the social cues that the other person is letting off. Because of this we have to be very protective of our energies.

I understand that maintaining a friendship with someone who is both autistic and bipolar can be challenging, especially when you're experiencing anxiety and uncertainty. Prioritizing your own well-being and mental health in any relationship is essential. However, it's also worth considering that with understanding and support, friendships can thrive even in the face of challenges.
One suggestion would be to educate yourself further about bipolar disorder and autism by reading reliable resources ( https://yourmentalhealthpal.com/understanding-what-is-bipolar-disorder/ ). This can help you better understand their experiences and provide insight into their behavior.
Open and honest communication is key. Talk to your friends about your concerns, expressing your willingness to support them while explaining your anxieties. Establishing boundaries and letting them know how their actions impact you is important. Additionally, consider seeking support for yourself, such as talking to a therapist or joining a support group for friends and family of individuals with mental health conditions.
Ultimately, only you can decide if this friendship is workable based on your own needs and capabilities. Remember to prioritize your well-being while being compassionate and understanding toward your friend's challenges.