Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
We are in the middle of college acceptances for my oldest and she has now been accepted to schools on both coasts, whereas we live in the Rocky Mountains. The thought of my "little girl" moving off fills me with fear and sadness. I'm trying to explore those feelings a little at a time without going too far down the rabbit hole.
I went off to college at a young age, moved like 1500 miles away from home, and I still live in the same county as my school many years later. I'm excited about the idea of her going off and exploring the world and finding where she feels like she fits, but I'm also kind of freaking out a little at the idea of her not being in our daily lives anymore. I realize this is a part of life, both hers and ours, and it's something that has to happen, but part of me doesn't want it to.
We still have another 2-3 weeks before she's heard from all the schools and probably another 3 weeks after that before she decides, and all that uncertainty about where she'll end up doesn't make this any easier.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
I brought something called "Aerogarden", where I can grow fruits and vegetables indoors (I live in a building). It sure made me happy, as I was taking care of this little garden.
I literally brought this the day she moved out. The need for me to take care of something was overwhelming.
Doesn't have to be Aerogarden, but maybe a pet of some kind. Once you start taking care of something/someone else, you'll be more at ease and feel better.
I understand how you feel. My daughter is almost 17 and looking into colleges. Some are pretty far away. I wish she could just go to a local college (we have lots) and commute. I'm terrified of an empty nest. Once she leaves, only our son will be with us still. But he will be 14 this year and already doesn't need me like he used to. I also stayed close to home after graduation and live in the next county over from my parents, only 45 minutes away. So I'm having a bit of a crisis myself. In fact, this is the reason I came to DS in the first place! I've started to read some other people's blogs about having an empty nest and there are some good books out there with high ratings on Amazon or wherever you like to shop for books. I know this is a terribly rough time of life transitions and I wish I had an answer to the sad feelings. Feel free to friend me if you'd like someone to talk to.
Writing it out is so important. When you are speaking with the child, it's important to be positive, be smiling, and be confident! You've done an excellent job in raising them to be independent!
Those feelings you express here safely are normal! The sadness filled with joy takes time, and it can make the child feel even more proud of their moment.
Some children do not share their feelings with their parents because they really want to see the proud, the confidence, and the strength in their parents during this changing of the guard moment.
You are not alone in this!
Steady as she goes, Cap'n. Steadying support while you ride the waves.
Our goal is definitely not to get our feelings on our daughter. This is her decision to make and we want her to choose what's best for her, not us. But the thought of her not being around is heart-breaking.
I've got a 16 year old, so we won't be empty nesters yet, and we've got 3 pets, so lots of little beasties to take care of, and I've got friends who have sent their kids off to school over the past couple years, and there are all the wonderful people here. There is support in place.
Like I said, I haven't lived less than 1500 miles from my family since I was 17 and I still have great relationships with them. This is just going to be a big change and I'm not looking forward to it.