Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
My irrational fear of masks continues to make life in Coronaville a living hell for me. I have found a few business associates who have helped me relax a little in the presence of maskites, butttttttaaaa. . . The panic attacks are still quite debilitating with no end in sight. Not even God knows it will take for fashion masks to disappear. The muslims are still working on that one. I have mostly --I pray-- gotten a handle on the medical trauma flashbacks, but I remain mostly hysterical when confronted with a mask.
I might have had a breakthrough on this psychotic torment. Maybe. This would be my first attempt to put ^it^ into words.
When I had to communicate over a bakery counter at the local Walmart, as my frustration escalate to where I was ready to take flight when the associate lowered her mask so that I could read her lips. The relief was immediate and has had me pondering ever since. Could the phobia be related more to my lifelong lipreading to compensate for my weak hearing? I can't see "eye smiles" because of my lipreading reflexes? Would it be proper of me to ask maskites to lower their masks so that I can read their lips? At proper social distances, of course. Those are easy schmeasy for me. My psychotic social distance always have been greater than the marshal law propers.
Testing, 1, 2, 3. . . Am I making sense? Thoughts? Opines? Maskite propaganda?
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
I find I take my glasses off more when speaking with someone because I really do want them to "see" me, read me, understand me and so they know I "hear" them and "see" them too. I get that it's just a gesture but somehow psychologically it helps me feel more intune and better able to communicate and connect. The glasses now feel like an additional mask even though you can still see my eyes. Weird. .
I just had an eye exam and wanted to get new glasses so I was trying on new frames and I'm like, how the hell can I tell if these look ok on me with this mask covering half my face. The person who was helping said it was ok to look in the mirror without my mask as long as I was facing the mirror and not people. What a concept! There's a whole lot to miss when you can only deal with half a face, whether yours or someone elses. .
I think though it's a short term risk to pull your mask up from your nose to be more understood is something
I think that a lot of people are doing.
Dare I dream of a modicum of compassion in this New Normal? Doesn't feeling safe come before staying safe?
Whatever. . .
I think I might be getting to where I can recognize my fellow lip-readers as they slither out of Mask World with me, perhaps far more isolated than the mask leaders ever intended. Perhaps. I am far from sure I know what the mask leaders intended. In living fact, I do not even know who is leading whom these days. Do we still have leaders?
Far more people read lips to 'understand' conversation than acknowledged. The mask wearing has provided problems for so many more people and that 'muffled' sound is what I hear on a normal basis, so it's common ground for me.
I have gotten really good at reading the eyes and the upper cheek muscles motions. Interesting for me, because I was able to help someone to get calm by asking them to breathe - they were holding their breath because they were trying to talk and the mask kept going in and out from their heavy breathing.
Here's to being able to have a mask lowered so the words can be understood!
My hearing issues started in childhood. I never learned how to read lips. It just happened, almost without my awareness. I have relied on lip reading for most of my 66 years but I don't know if I have ever thought to mention that to anybody. It never seemed important until it was gone.
I still can't manage eye contact over a mask, but I have gotten to where I can recognize some clerks I did business with before the masky dask. The clerk at the feed store has started lowering her mask automatically for the folks she knows rely on lip reading to communicate.
Who knows. . . I might even be able to recognize an eye smile before all this is said and done. Stranger things have happened.
Hm-m-m-m-m. . . Would it be rude or crude try a card saying, "Please lower your mask so I can read your lips?"
How did I forget that neighborhood tradition? I lived in there for quite allot of years. Sigh. . . My memory blitzing on me is yet another of my psycho nag flags.
Still wishing I felt safe enough to *stay* safe.