Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hi. I'm Veronica. 21, only child. I am an (unpaid) caretaker of my parents Mom (60), Dad, Veteran (55). It all started in 2019, my senior year of high school, my dad had a mild diabetic stroke. Since then my dad has been hospitilized countless times, triple bypass open heart surgery, has fainted at home, nuropothay, and now amputation of all his toes on the right side. My mom, who has been a functioning alcoholic for pretty much as long as I can remember, has always held up the house hold. Over the past year my family has been in shambles and both my parents health has been on a fast decline. My mom refused help, in home , out of the house, etc.. At the end of December me and My mom conttacted covid, and she now has blood clots in her lungs and stress from my dad, who is now unemployed and has been in a rehab/care home Since late Novemver of 2021... It has been affecting my mental and physhical health, migranes, hard to fall asleep with scattered thoughts, intense anxiety, my relationship with my boyfriend, my other family members, friends etc...I was reffered to this site by a wonderful social worker. I'm kind of rammbling but this story has no straight lines and millions of paths. I feel like I can't break chains and I'm too scared to not be on stand-by for my parents, but as everyone tells me and I know that I need to have my own life. I don't know I guess I'm just looking for a similar case and light at the end.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
emotional support can help and you will find allot of that here. vent freely. vent often. my case is not too similar to yours, but anxiety is anxiety, whatever its source.
you are not alone. listening. . .
Take care
Mary
You've taken the important first step in writing it out and laying out the issue that compounded into other issues.
Practice even breathing and before making any kind of decision, stop, pause, breathe, option, repeat until calm and clear headed.
Sit down and write out everything that you are doing daily. Separate what you do for you, what you do for mom and what you do for dad - that will give you a timeline of exactly how much effort each task is requiring of your energy.
Keep your social life active. Make it a priority to get out and about with your friends, your boyfriend, and to leave all the problems at home for a little while. That clean break will give you a chance to catch your breath naturally, release a lot of stress naturally, and help you find the calm zone.
As an only child, you may find yourself having to make legal and financial decisions for your parents. Keep track of the finances and be diligent to ensure you're aware of all the finances. The more you have details of, the easier it is to make a level decision.
When dealing with your mom, keep your emotions separate. It's hard, but in the long term, much easier to remain calm in making the difficult decisions that will be coming up.
Venting here is a great way to find acceptance that your feelings are normal for being overwhelmed. Dealing with all the challenges of caring for parents - even though your parents are not elderly, they are in poor and declining health is not easy for anyone.
The key thing to remember: you must take care of you first before you can take care of anyone else.
How this site helps is it gives you diversity of everyone, acceptance as you are, understanding, encouragement, support, and a place to be 'you'.
Best wishes as you find your better balance.
Find LOTS of support here. Mid makes an excellent point that you really need to take care of your own needs before you can take care of others. I, too, encourage you to spend time outside of the home doing things you enjoy with people you enjoy:)
Take care!
I am so sorry to hear that you are going to this at such an young age. Being a young adult, trying to find yourself in this world, discovering who you are and who you want to be is hard enough. To add everything you just describe would give anyone anxiety.
You’ve already been told this, but it is true that you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Make sure you have a life outside of your house. Hang out with friends. Go out on dates with guys boyfriend. Continue to talk with your therapist.
I suffered from horrible panic attacks and anxiety too, they started when I was in my early 20s. What I found, was that I had to set boundaries with my family. My dad was also a functioning alcoholic.
Setting boundaries with your family doesn’t mean you stop loving or caring for them. And it isn’t a skill that is acquired overnight.
My point is (sorry…rambling) you are NOT ALONE. In no shape or form. Continue to write out your feelings. Take one step at a time, one day at a time. It will get better I promise. Hugs!