I’ve lost most of my friends and over the years my family slowly began to disappear; I was once very fit & active/sociable but now I’m the opposite. Too many cancelled plans eventually drove away the people I love the most. As my health deteriorated my mental health declined to the point I became agoraphobic. I’m now isolated, lonely and riddled with anxiety, I fear fear and I’ve paid an enormous price. I feel completely alone...

For me the saddest thing is growing up with anxiety and having no name for it. Growing up in the 70s and as a teen in the 80s, you didn’t have access to support or information. There was no internet. I didn’t even know I had anxiety or what it was until well into adulthood when I met someone else who had it and started telling me their experience. A light bulb went on for me, like OH THAT’s what I have going on. Eventually I saw a therapist and the rest is history as they say!

I had a lot of friends growing up, did well in school, played sports, all very normal to the outside world but inside I was kind of dying. So that’s what I think is the saddest part, that I had so much inner turmoil as a kid with no understanding of what is was and no one I could tell. I felt like I was pretending all the time.

Hi Silkworm,
Nice to meet you.
Sorry to hear about friends and family. Having agoraphobic is awful to have. You don't like crowded places, or leaving your home. And you have a fear of being in places that you can't get out of.

Sounds like you were very active. But then your health started to deteriorate. And I guess cancelling plans would drive people away. But they need to understand where your coming from. Your health is not well and your mental health also isn't good. People just don't understand and that bugs the heck out of me. They need to be more sympathetic.

Being isolated and lonely is hard to deal with.
Maybe try doing something that you enjoy. Hobbies are a good start. Find something that interests you and go for it. It will help keep you busy and you won't think about your anxiety and fear. You will be too busy enjoying yourself. Distraction is a great way to keep anxiety away. I enjoy yoga, walking, watching movies, cooking, meditating. Yoga and meditating and walking are a must for me.

Welcome to the DS also. You will meet a lot of great people here. Your never alone. We're all here for each other. Feel free to comment or post anytime. Or if you want to Private Message you can do that.

Thank you so much for your comment. If you need to talk Private Message me. Italianmomma4ever

And Silkworm,
I sent you a friend request.

Hi rmb,
Sorry to hear that you have had anxiety all of your life. That's tough and not really know what you have and what's going on.

I'm glad you were able to meet someone that helped you shed some light on what you had. Then you were able to understand more. Nice person to meet. It's good to see a therapist too. They will help you sort out all of your feelings and you will understand a lot better.

Sounds like you had a lot of friends and did well in school and enjoyed playing sports. Sounds normal to me. It's tough not having anyone to talk to about how you were feeling. It kinda of eats you up inside. I'm glad your able now to know what's going on. And remember it's not your fault how you were feeling. The main thing is you understand it now. And you can move on with the past and live a great life going forward. You survived at a young age and that's not easy. But you did it!!!! Thank you so much for your comment. Italianmomma4ever.

Silkworm,
I was just wondering if you see a therapist?
Talking to a therapist is a big help.
Also journaling things is a great way to express how you feel and what your going through.
Hope you find some comfort in doing so.

Constantly being stuck inside my own head and emotions.. I know so many strong people and I feel so weak because of it,

what's even worse is I am starting to see signs of my "issues " in my 6yr old and I dont want my messed up self a part of them too.. I feel like I am causing these issues in my child and I'm the one that's screwing them up

Affecting my relationships with family, friends and significant other.
The frustration of knowing it will never go away and knowing that others who don’t experience it will never fully understand why you’re upset.
Feeling helpless when it’s super high and feeling like Im losing my mind sometimes.

Hi Bougey,
Don't feel bad about your emotions and being stuck. We all experience it. Writing in a journal will help you sort out your feelings and your thoughts. Do you journal? I have learned and it really helps a lot.

Your 6 year old might be experiencing some of your "issues" and maybe not. You could be overthinking that.
Try and keep a clear mind and focus on being there in the present and enjoying time with her or him. It will take a lot of effort on your part, but the rewards will be priceless. 6 years old is young. So start now and just do the best you can. And I'm sure everything will work out. Thank you for your comment. Italianmomma4ever

Hi aa23,
It's nice to meet you. Yes I can understand it affecting your relationships. I to have that same problem.

It really bothers me that people, loved ones don't understand. Until they walk in our shoes and experience how we feel they probably never will.
And it not going away is frustrating to.

Anxiety is not cureable just manageable. That part really sucks!!!!

Anxiety sure does make you feel like your losing your mind. Like your helpless and can't function and do much. But it will pass. You just have to ride it out. It's not easy. Distract yourself when your feeling this way. Journaling is good to do. Go do something so your not thinking about it. I like to do yoga and meditate. Deep breathing will help too. Thank you for your comment. Italianmomma4ever

And aa23,
Welcome to the DS.
I sent you a friend request.

Feeling out of control and not able to express how your feeling to others. Sometimes they cannot understand what your experiencing and judge you as being weak or even being dishonest when it’s neither, it’s just being triggered.

Hi Secouya,
That is hard for me to do too. People don't understand how we feel and that really bothers me. I wish they would be more supportive and more sympathetic.

Yes people do look at it as a weakness or your just making it up. Or it's all in your mind. If they only knew how it felt. It's real!!!! And the triggers are real too!!!
Thank you for your comment. It's always nice to hear from you. Take care of yourself and have a wonderful holiday. Italianmomma4ever

And Secouya,
Hope your knee is feeling better.
You take it easy and get well.❤️

The saddest thing for me was when my auntie who brought me up passed away. I’m lucky and grateful to have met someone who cares for me now and I hope she will be there for me forever