Welcome to DS xxx i’m so so so sorry your having such a hard time though. I can definitely relate. Anxiety can be so so so debilitating. You aren’t alone at all though ok? you are worthy and your feelings are so valid! i’m here if you need to talk xxx

I don’t think people can understand if they have never been here. My husband tried to be helpful at first but gets agitated because he doesn’t understand what I’m going through. It makes things worse when he gets mad. I really can’t help it. I wish that I had control of it. Thank you for replying.

of course and then that can feel even more isolating. You aren’t alone though. would it help to talk a little more about what you are going through? all ears - gentle hugs xxx

It got worse during the pandemic. The fear of everything that was going on and having no control over the situation. Not being able to ensure the safety of my family. It got to the point of being OCD about keeping everybody safe which is ultimately impossible. I also take care of my father who had a debilitating stroke 5 years ago. I’ve been trying to keep him safe as well. Being a constant caregiver is one of the most stressful roles that Ive ever had. I felt like the world was on my shoulders. I’m also a teacher so I have the stress of that job and all we have went through the last year. We have been in school since August. I started having physical symptoms (swollen lymph nodes, swallowing issues) show up around august and that lead into several dr appts for the next few months. My stomach then became involved (constant quiver and bloating any time I ate) and that lead to not eating which caused significant weight loss in a matter of weeks. Now here I am, struggling to gain a pound then lose two back. All while fighting anxiety and picnic attacks daily. I feel so hopeless and in a dark hole. I’m sorry! I know that’s a lot to dump at once.

@need_peace,

I can totally relate. I've suffered from anxiety and depression for years with very similar symptoms. At times, it appears nothing will be able to get you out of the negative spin. As others have said, unless they've been there, they don't understand.

I've found most relief from talk therapy and drugs. I know everything seems overwhelming right now, but you may wish to try contacting a doctor. I found mind through FamiliesFirst and another through a university.

You're not alone and write to DS often. It helps too.

My husband gets mad sometimes when I am anxious. He doesn't really understand. You need to have time for yourself. Long term stress is very difficult, especially if you are anxious. Look for ways to get help from family, friends, others. My husband had a stroke and it was hard for me taking care of him at first and I didn't have a job or kids added to that. You may need medication, and definitely mental health self care. And possibly professional
help for yourself.

don’t be sorry for expressing your struggles! that’s what this is here for! I completely understand the weight gaining frustration! 3 years ago I started struggling with stomach ulcers and it has resulted in multiple hospitalizations and lots and lots of “drama”. so many hugs i so understand that struggle.

It sounds like there is just so much pressure in your world right now. i’m so sorry it has become so much for you to bare. sooo much support and hugs xxx walking along side you as you find healing!

I had a bad reaction to Celexa years ago after my mother passed away with cancer. It made me suicidal so I’m kind of scared of new meds. I did take Paxil for years. The withdrawal from that medicine was horrible. What has the least side effects?

Thank you all so much! It really helps talking to people who understand your struggles and what that feels like.

Welcome to the anxiety board at DS.

You've taken the important first step in writing it out.

First, care giver burnout is fast - and it affects every part of your well-being. Take the necessary time out each and every day to do the one minute breathing and positive image.

Second, people who do not have active high anxiety have only their experience to give their perspective. Rather than take them being angry, just step back and regroup quietly.

Third, in writing it out here, you're giving yourself a safe place to vent, and reveal your feelings with acceptance, understanding, and encouragement that you are not alone.

Medicine can provide the temporary lift to help you reach a better balance with managing anxiety. Anxiety is our helper, so we have to figure out how to work it back within a comfortable normal range.

Separate the care giver, teacher, and 'you' feelings so you get an idea of the way your thoughts are going.

Best wishes. You are not alone in finding a balance.

Hello Need. Welcome to DS. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

I can definitely relate to your anxiety having anxiety. My anxiety chain reacts like a nuclear meltdown. One worry is too many and a million aren't enough. What if? ? ? What if? ? ? What if? ? ? What if the iffin whats if their whats to iffin ifs?

Sigh. . .

Safe places to vent and sort my anxieties sure help slow the chain reactions. This very forum is one of the places I come to do exactly that. Hope it helps you, too.

Has it? Do you feel any better for the venting. Hope so.

Welcome aboard. Vent freely. Sort often.

Each person is affected differently on medication. You need to start with a very low dose and slowly increase the dose. I was taking Paxil for years until it stopped working. Then I was put on Prozac. Talk to your doctor about what drug might be right for you. And let him know of your medication fears.

Wait you wrote, I’m a wife, mom, teacher and caregiver to my father who had a stroke.

First, if you are a caregiver that takes tremendous stress. Take a vacation now that Covid restrictions are lifting, and perhaps your father can help with the cost.
It has been a hard time, and recently with a move, my wife has become very stressed with essentially a nervous breakdown.

We had my MIL in our home and she had multiple strokes, but we had an aid to help. You need to consider that. Please recognize that you have been stronger than most people, few people realize the challenges of caregiving unless you've been there, no I don't need to care about my MIL's bathroom habits.

And if you cannot take it, you may have to look at nursing homes or other help, do you have siblings are they helping.

Please recognize you've been a wonderful, dedicated, strong woman, deserving of hours, no years of praise for your dedication and you need to compliment yourself and then look at choices.

Back in 2008 I had anxiety out of control and did not know what was happening until being in the ER twice. Many sleepless nights, panic attacks, weight loss, night terrors, paxil, another drug I cannot remember. I quit paxil and went through more hell. It did not seem to work. Since then I have been med free.

I tell you this to say there is hope! I have had some anxiety since then but know how to live with it better.

My biggest helps were: Reading books such as "the anxiety cure" and "When the darkness will not lift" I read and learned more about anxiety. I kind of had to embrace it and learned to live with it. I have had good seasons since but some anxious seasons as well. Different things help different people. I will be honest and say being a Christian and having a group of Christians helped me.

I am adding this as well. My wife had a nervous breakdown in 2018 and suffered extreme depression and anxiety and she went on Zoloft and tells me she will forever be on it. I have been having some anxiety and some depression again (mostly from years of pent up stress and having fought Covid last month) and at my wife's urging I was prescribed Zoloft a month ago. I have yet to take it. The paxil experience I had in 08 scares me. So i understand your dilemma somewhat. Still using my tools and trusting God. You have so much stress on you. Make sure you share with your supervisor if you can and others in your life who can help you. Prayers for your peace!