Just my opinion but I think that there is a lot of misunderstanding around Step 3. I am sure that there will be many other opinions expressed here but this is my take on it.

Looking at the Steps before I got a sponsor and going by what people were saying at meetings, Step 3 was a source of great frustration to me at times. Some days I did what people said you were supposed to do and other days I forgot but I could see little or no difference either way. And to compound matters further, I didnt really know what was meant by will and lives or how you could turn them over to the care of God as we understood Him.

The explanation that was given by my sponsor made a lot of sense to me and that is how I now look at Step 3. The bit that people tend to miss is Made a decision and those few words give a meaning to the step that is very different to what is often heard at meetings. Therefore, Step 3 does not tell us to turn anything over to God it just says that we made a decision. The question then arises, a decision to do what? What exactly is meant by will and lives?

I always liked the quotation: You are not what you think you are but what you think you are. In other words, as people we are defined by all of the thoughts that are in our heads and those thoughts make up our will. Our lives are the sum total of all of our actions each day. Therefore, what we are deciding to turn over to the care of God as we understand Him are our thoughts and our actions.

Some people believe that our will and our lives are God given so why then would we ask God to take them back. Step 2 gives a clue, where we: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. What we are doing in Step 3 is making a decision to turn our thoughts and actions over to the care of a higher power, until sanity has been restored in Step 10. We can then have our will and our lives back, to be used as God intended.

A decision is of little use unless it is followed by action and the decision taken in Step 3 is put into action through the remaining steps. If this is understood, it takes away the fear factor that people have about certain steps because doing those steps is now a joint effort with the God of our understanding.

Like you have said, it is hard to put your faith and trust into something you cant see or feel but Step 3 does not ask you to do that just to make a decision. By working through Steps 4 to 12 a spiritual awakening occurs and a realization comes about that this thing really does work. It is then that you can put your faith in what you cannot see or feel.

Hi Bob, in a nutshell from my own experience and working with others a lot of people tend to overlook the words "made a decision" - the first three steps are decisions not actions.

Actions through Step Four onward are what involve the "doing" required and the spiritual awakening follows. We don't put the cart before the horse. That seems to be why many feel overwhelmed when they need not be. It is really a step to confirm our willingness to move toward a spiritual way of life.

Ha! PJ we posted almost simultaneously!

Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to God as I understand Him.

"God, I offer myself to Thee-
To build with me
and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power,
Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!"

Not exactly a trivial decision or to be taken lightly. I've know more than a few that took a long time to get behind these words and proceed to the remaining steps with the fortitude necessary to carry them out. I was lucky. He used a 2x4 on me...

Hugs,
Dennis

Don't waste your heart and brain on worry you can't control~~~leave it to God....it does no good...

Not in AA, but this can be hard for people who like to be in control like moi.

I was thinking the same thing CC. MY intellect kept me stuck in a place like a clenched fist to a boxer! Trying to win through brute force! For Me Bob... I found Step 2 to be the key to step 3 and beyond!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxWtbrGhCoQ

Hi Bob, Bill W. was once asked if he could describe his Program in simple terms. Bill's reply was, "I certainly can. It is a complete mystery shouded in utter simplicity" It certainly is.
Step One is well summarized on pg 44 of our Basic Text.

"In the preceding chapters you have learned something of alcoholism. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic. Alcoholics Anonymous is for chronic alcoholics.

If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, (Can't manage your most sincere decision to not start drinking) - the un-manage-ability insidious insanity - mentally powerless

or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, (Can't drink without getting drunk) - the allergy the craving - physically powerless.

If you answered "No" to those two questions, you are a chronic alcoholic - an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer."

Question: If a spiritual experience is my only hope, how many meetings must I attend to survive alcoholism?

We recover by the Steps we take, not the meetings we make!

Step Two is the hope this Program will work for me as I see it working for other chronic alcoholics. I believe (hope) this thing will work for me too.

Step Three is simply a decision to learn to apply the clear-cut directions for recovery in our daily life. We are to begin this process at once following our decision.

Contrary to the opinion of some, we do not have a spiritual awakening/experience as the result of making this decision. We must follow the directions from pg 64 thru pg 88.

Having had a spiritual awakening/experience as the result of these Steps. We must take the action to be the beneficiary of the Promises.

We recover by the Steps we take, not the meetings we make

Step Two is to Me a life lived through uncovering the truth Creates a safe place To Recover and be cared for in whatever fashion Spiritual liberation takes !! My thoughts... Alcoholism is only a symbol I was happy for that as I progressed(stepwork) ...Roomier :) Wide Open spaces .....with no borders Nice!
Billy

I loved AntomiaB's reply...you summed it up nicely.

I too was told it is only a decision but I don't believe that, my action in Step 3 was saying the Step 3 prayer, which freed me up to do Step 4.

I very seldom go to meetings but it seems that when I do, I hear something I always remember and repeat to others.

We can't make the wind, only God can but we need to set our sails.
Like PJ said there are many different opinions on it and we all have different sails but the foundation of it all seems to be a need for faith and honesty, humility, and acceptance. Antonia I also agree that actions speak volumes and I think that's where the faith and honesty comes in. It's not something that is handed to us, we have to practice it and practice requires work. Thats where willingness to have a spiritual life comes in.

Dennis, it takes alot of practice to get behind those words, I am sure,

City, there is nothing I can control. If I try, I would be a failure for sure. My Higher Power is behind everything I do...well...most everything.... I better qualify that, because I am not perfect, far from it.

Crusty, I believe I have been the beneficiary of the Promises even long before I started drinking and druggin but I wasn't aware of it at the time which leads me to an interesting description of step 3 from the EHA book which gives examples on how to practice the above positive qualities.

Think about God as being part of the internet with Prayer, or asking for help, being the uplink and meditation or, waiting for an answer, as the downlink, and that negative emotions such as guilt, shame, anger, jealousy and so on, are all blocks in that communication link we have with our Higher Power. God is talking to us 24/7 but those self imposed blocks prevent His messages from getting through to us.

Billy, you have always told me that nobody punishes us more then ourselves and we need to let those things go and put them in the Hands of our Higher Power. The more we work at this and practice it, the more we pray and meditate, the more spiritualy pure we become, the more His messenges will get through to us and I can prove this.

This is something I also got from the EHA book concerning step three. Ask for a sign and you will get one withing 24-48 hours, most of the time, it's much sooner then that. Crusty I usually only attend a meeting when I feel I need a sign....and I always seem to get one!

I get distracted real easily and I started writing this several hours ago. Thankyou to all for your replies. I tried to tie everything together to describe how your answers pertain to my sobriety and I hope it makes sense to others.

I am so blessed and so fortunate to have this group, AA and my Higher Power in my life. I have never been happier!

God Bless!

I've heard many people go out on 4, as they were afraid to take that full inventory. If you are afraid, then you havent *really* taken to heart 1-3 in my opinion/ experience. That said, I need to remind myself of 1-3 all the time. Daily at least.
I'm super inclined to simply forget, or ignore, turning my will and my life --- especially when I'm mired in the details....over to anything but self will.
I then have to remember that throwing more of *me* at problems doesnt do anything. Time to stop digging and remember step 3.

Many of us came to AA spiritually bankrupt and not wanting to here anything about God or religion. Some of us came in with deep resentments towards the old testament " smiting God" of our upbringing. For us the steps took time

Sticky, that says it all, right there! Don, it took a long time for me, and it's always a work in progress. I still have days when I lose my focus and need to get back with the program! Thanks!

Many like myself do not have a god or a higher power. We skip step 3.