I hope this was your "bottom" and you go on to live a good life. Eric

A family member did the same thing - killing both passengers who were also wasted. Broken neck also with lasting damage. Went to prison. Out of prison now and excited to soon be off parole to legally drink again. For some - no such thing as rock bottom no matter what.

I hope you heal stronger than you were and stay in this group for support, go to AA or whatever you believe will work for you! Good luck and have a great sober future!

Thanks for the support everyone! It really helps. I also hope that I do continue to plan on not drinking. I hope that I don't "forget" how much trouble drinking has caused in my life and start again.

Hi Brooklyn,

I am new to recovery and just got back from my first meeting. One thing that was emphasized was the mental aspect of this disease. Our minds have a way of rationalizing/forgetting past behavior.

I crashed my husband's car into a ditch one night nearly 3 years ago now. I wanted to stop. But now look at me...3 years later back to square one.

If you want this to be your rock bottom, it might be a good idea to find some community meetings. Two alcoholics are stronger than one. I am starting that now and I think its going to be a very beneficial thing. Knowing people in real life that understand what you are going through might be just what you need.

Good luck!

Thanks for the advice Miakrita. I do think I will attend some meetings. It will help me stay sober. You said you crashed your husband's car. How is he with everything? Is he supportive of you? I know my fiance is getting pretty tired of my behavior

Hi Brooklynn,

I didn't roll the car or anything. It was actually quite pathetic (thankfully).

At the time, my husband was my fiance. I didn't have a car so I was driving his everywhere.

One night, I went to my friend's/maid of honor's parents' place to talk about wedding stuff. Her parents are both super loaded so the place is big and set out in the middle of no where.

Being my "friend," my maid of honor allowed me to get in my fiance's car after serving me countless whiskey on the rocks for hours on end. I don't even remember leaving. Apparently she made me walk a line and I fell over, knocking over a vase.

Anyway, I didn't get down her driveway. Granted, the driveway is 1/4 mile long. But I completely drove off of it and crashed into bushes and an electric fence. I got out of the car to see what the problem was and I kept electrocuting myself without realizing what was happening. So pathetic. I kept trying to get the car out. Thank god I wasn't able to.

I had to call my husband to come get me with his grandmother's car. The next day we called a towing company to get it out of the ditch. There was minimal damage. But yes, he was mad all the same. I was mad at myself.

He has been patient with me for years. I'm glad you have someone to be patient with you, too. But at the end of the day, my husband doesn't understand. And if your fiance is not an alcoholic/problem drinker, chances are that he doesn't understand, either.

For years, the solution my husband kept pushing on me was simple: "just don't drink so much." But that didn't work. And when I drank too much, he got upset.

Because he is "normal" he doesn't realize that I am incapable of not drinking too much. So he gets impatient and frustrated. The people at the meeting I went to today, however, can relate to how I am. I can't tell you how good it felt to have that today.

I'm really new to this. I'm 10 days in. But I feel like I've found the answer. The answer is to stop drinking entirely and to "stay stopped" with a group of people that can relate to me.

I hope this helps

hey just read about your accident...I am so glad that driving drunk lead me to sobriety...if I did not decide not to drive drunk any longer I would not have gone to AA and the story would not be the same since those 17yrs would prob have had something like your story now has....sorry about your injury and hope it is the blinding light of the obvious to get you sober....hugs bill

So glad your okay. You can do this...you can get sober. The fear and shame after a drinking disaster is overwhelming....I really feel for you.

Thanks again everyone for the support. I just hope that once I feel better and can take off the neck brace that I still feel the same way and don't start drinking again.

@Brooklyn...you "do think you'll attend some meetings?" seriously?
You just rolled your car, you broke your neck for godsakes. Its time (in fact it was probably time years ago) to start taking ownership of your sobriety. For me that meant a meeting every day for almost the first year of sobriety. Now its a rare week I don't make 4. I try to make 5.
I got a sponsor right away and started working the steps. I've had a service commitment since the first month. I work with others.
Why? Because left to my OWN devices I know exactly what happens. I convince myself I can drink, I drink, I f=k up. Am I an idiot? Possibly but what I know I am with every fiber of my body is an alcoholic. Left to my own devices I drink. I drink for every reason and no reason at all. I just drink.
I havent had a drink in almost 23 months a day at a time. And I couldnt and I didnt do that alone or with my usual old ways.
I'd suggest you get yourself to a meeting, and get yourself a sponsor. If you don't care enough about yourself yet, DO IT FOR MY children. I don't want THEM to meet YOU on some road.

You know, I did not attend AA to get sober. So from my experience I do not see why anyone would need or want to go to meetings, let alone go to a meeting every day for a year. yet I agree with Sticky's post 100%.

Why?

Because you have to MAKE THE COMMITMENT TO SOBRIETY. And you haven't. It sounded like you did when you said "I know I will never want to touch alcohol again."

But it hasn't even been a WEEK and already you are sounding unsure of yourself -- ". I just hope that once I feel better and can take off the neck brace that I still feel the same way and don't start drinking again."

You choose. Drinking again or not is your choice, not something that will just "happen." If you don't see that or have the commitment to be sober then get into AA or another program. Next time you might kill someone else when you get behind the wheel drunk. This isn't something to be unsure about. Sobriety doesn't fall from the sky like magic fairy dust because you had an accident. You choose it, and you work at it.

I'm not unsure of myself I was just trying to sound realistic.