Hello Spinachwrap1985,

That is not a nice place to be and I hope that the sun will shine for you again very soon.

The trouble is, you cannot run away from yourself, either by isolating or by moving. I wish that I had the answers but I do not. All I can suggest is that you keep working with the doctors on getting a cure for the skin disease and once you overcome that problem, you will have more options for dealing with the other issues.

At some point you will need to face the pain of the past, bring it out into the open, feel it and then move on to better things. It is not something that you can easily do on your own so it would be wise to look for professional help. In the meantime, try to cut yourself some slack. You are not a bad person, just someone who needs a bit of help.

Hey Spinachwrap1985... knowing how hard other people have it makes me so grateful, and I don't think it's a bad thing at all to use as motivation for the way you live your life. It puts a positive spin on things when you can say, "This really sucks, but someone out there has it worse." It gives a sense of gratitude which leads to happiness.

Congrats on coming up on 6 years sober! Seems like quite a few things you are having to deal with and the only advice I really have is just take things one at a time. For me, I just try to live today better than I did yesterday, so if I just improve one thing even a little, it's a good day.

Wishing you a lot of good days ahead :)

If you can stay sober for that long without help of any kind then you have beaten the odds, which are something like 99 to 1. That makes you pretty special in my book.

If it were me, I would keep getting referrals and find a doctor that can diagnose and treat my skin problem. I wouldn't stop until I had some answers that made sense to me. The only thing that ever made my skin itch that took awhile to figure out was the fabric softener my wife was using in the laundry. Once we stopped using it, my problem magically disappeared!

To be honest, I like being alone also. I spend alot of time meditating, and going within. It was within myself that I found true happiness, not in the outside world. When I do go out to different places, I have a mountain of confidence that brings smiles to others including myself.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers,

God Bless

This disease is understandingly causing you a lot of distress and loneliness through the unwanted isolation. Your symptoms sound like a classic case of scabies, but I'm that sure any qualified PCP or dermatologist could have diagnosed this by now. I think if you can get to the bottom of this medical condition, things could turn around for you. It's obvious you have determination if you can stop drinking, smoking and eating meat on your own. Do you still have access to any kind of medical support or medicaid? I hope it's just a matter of finding the right doctor...

Thank you all for the reply, your kindness has warmed my heart and I am crying tears if gratitude. I will not give up. I do not have insurance but will try another doctor. The hard thing is to hear a doctor tell you what you have is not contagious but then you see the people you touch show symptoms. Makes it hard to trust doctors. But I will continue trying. I have tried every remedy and process I could read online with no luck after failing with doctors but I will go back. Working out keeps me positive and motivated like I'm training for a fight. I won't give up.

You really made me not feel so alone in this and all of your words of encouragement mean a lot to me.

I have a nervous disposition and sometimes get itchy on my eye lids and my skin is not normal either. I have found some help from doctors but the main thing is to not get so nervous. I try to relax and that seems to help alot. Great work on quitting the alcohol and smoking. Life will get better each day. Have you checked into wheat/gluten allergies? Prayers
1is2many

Thank you. I have not looked into wheat or gluten allergies but it is definitely some sort of parasitic bug that comes and goes with its symptoms. I can feel it behind my ears, the back of my neck, crotch, inside ears. Ive tried scabies cream, lice treatment, replaced wardrobe, neem oil, tea tree oil, after all that I was so desperate as to try a bleach solution. After a while you become desensitized and can actually live with it until you realize your sexual partner is showing symptoms. It is very shameful.

Hope you can find a dermatologist who can help you. I can only imagine your anguish. Please stay on site and keep us informed of your progress in getting to the bottom of this...

You say you have no insurance so you must live in the USA. Even though you have no insurance, you can still get help. It is as simple as filling out a proof of income form through the business office of your local hospital. Every hospital in the USA is subsidized by the federal government and must provide free services to those with no insurance and those who cannot afford to pay. You can get free doctor visits as well. Here it is called "Care Partners" which are doctors who donate free services. All emergency room, testing, and overnight hospital stays can also be had for free.

It sounds like you may need a dermatologist and they can be expensive so If you have a condition that may require long term care, it might be worth checking out. Keep us posted.

God Bless

Thank you, I will look into care partners.

Everyone's kindness and support on here has helped me not feel so overwhelmed, I really appreciate it. I had a good lethargic cry and picked myself back up and have had a few normal days since my first post. I am trying some over the counter meds until I figure out the doctor/derm situation. Trying to just be level headed and dealing with one issue at a time in order of priority. Thank you.

It sounds crazy, but I recently read some information on how sugar can feed so many bacteria in the body that make us sick. I hope this doesn't sound simplistic but eliminate sugar of any and all forms. Even sugar in fruit . I hope you find answers. You are worth more than you know .

I'm so proud of you for how far you've come given your shaky past and then having to deal with a skin problem. You have sobered up, quit smoking and eating meat! You have real will power, and strength. Naturally you would be angry about a hard past, but you have faught through this to make a better life for yourself.

In regards to your skin infection, I had a pretty bad skin infection four or so years ago that sounds somewhat similar to yours. It was itchy, had blisters even at its worse, and would spread to others. It wasn't on my face mind you, but it was hard to get rid of or find a doctor who knew what it was. After going to a couple of doctors, and then doing my own research, I think it was eczema that flared up and then I itched it too much, and it mutated into a fungal infection on top of it. The only thing that helped it go away was use steroid induced cream from the doctor, and then after the flare up subsided, I had to be careful it didn't flare up again cause it seemed to lie dormant. So for that I had to avoid wheat, yeast, all artificial sugar, and reduce natural sugars from fruit. Also, I had to keep the area really clean, but moisterized with something that wasn't too heavy, like aloe. I hope this is of help, and that maybe it's something similar. If not, I hope you are able to find a good doctor whose willing to look beyond the textbook for answers.

Thank you la2017, I have heard sugar can feed many diseases as well. I have heard way more negative things about sugar than positive. I believe people should be ok eating fruit but things seem to vary from person to person when it comes to diet. We all have different receptors and are from different regions. I try to go non gmo and organic when I can afford it, but times are tight right now.


Sunnbutcloudy,
Thank you for your kind words. The 80s was a crazy time to grow up, there was a lot of drugs, alcohol, partying, violence, cops. A therapist told me most people who experience this in childhood can end up in prison but luckily I did have some positive influence outside of the chaos so I can see two sides to my upbringing. The violence is the hardest thing to let go of. Things could be quiet one minute then doors are broken down, windows smashed, cops are called, I'm trying to fight grown men to defend my mom. Crazy stuff. Nowadays, I need ways to express myself as a man thru alternative routes besides violence. Sports, art, etc.
Sugar could be feeding a fungal issue. I have cut way down on sugar since diabetes runs in my family but not entirely, I will try it again and experiment with it, see if the symptoms persist. I always assumed this was parasitic but it could be fungal. I crushed my foot at work when I was young and while in an aircast, a fungus called rosea formed, I took meds and it appeared to have gone away but who knows for sure, it could have spread.
I hope you all have a great day, I feel hopeful and appreciate the support. I went from feeling completely alone to now I open my email and there are messages every day, a transformation is occuring and I am very grateful.