Right now I am going through the anxiety after a break up. I know my faults and where I am a p.o.s. I am a selfish man, I like being isolated, I like not dealing with others and their problems. I was raised by a tv, neglected alot of the time, there was abuse growing up and I really don't want to deal with anyone including myself. The thing that keeps me going is knowing how much harder other people around the world have it but that is not a positive thing to base my life on. Most of the time I'm just trying to stay out of fights, out of jail, off of alcohol. At some point in life I contracted a skin disease that has effected my face and made me itchy. I am self conscious of this. I've been to 7 doctors and tried to self diagnose and treat with alternative remedies with no luck. I have my lost hair and if I touch people they start itching and losing their hair. I can't maintain relationships with this sh*t I have attempted suicide and nearly drink myself to death, been on antidepressant meds. Its hard to admit all if this but where else can I say this stuff without judgement. Don't know if I want to cry or punch a wall. I can't touch people without giving them a disease, sit in their car, come to their home, give them a hug. I have been sober almost 6 years without AA, quit smoking 3 years ago, gave up meat. Did this without support but it's hard doing it alone.