I've do e the exact same thing. I would drink so much to the point I couldn't remember anything the next day. Some days when people would bring up what I did I would act like I remember or just laugh and play it off. I felt ashamed and embarrassed though. I am on day 5 of no drinking.

I only sobered up this morning. It hard to see what's going to happen now. We drink together so it's going to be hard to stop alone. Glad there is other people out there that know what I'm feeling.

If you believe you are an alcoholic, then you are. There are more complicated ways to diagnose alcoholism, but I don't really care. I know I'm an alcoholic. I've accepted this and it's ok. You should find some relief in this acknowledgement because now you are ready to start the journey to a life that is happy, joyous and free. Are you ready to take certain steps?

Ready as I can be. No point in ignoring the problem anymore it's not getting any better. Where do I start

It seems that you already started.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Check
If there is alcohol I drink it without control and can't stop till it's gone. Doesn't matter who I hurt or what I ruin as long as I'm drunk doing it.
It needs to stop

Ahh the black outs - I remember them, so many that became so often! The times I'd die with embarrassment when told of my actions the night before. I'd say "never again" but I'd binge drink again the following weekend having not touched a drop during the week. I did this for many years just teetering on the edge - that fine line between coping, functioning and addiction. But then slowly the odd glass of wine crept in during the week, then it became a bottle and before I knew it two bottles ........ but that woozy state my body craved wasn't as easy to achieve anymore so I sought out something stronger. Spirits were easy to hide in juice because by now my family were asking questions. It took a number of years but the manipulation of alcohol grew stronger as my mind and body desired and craved the next drink. Lies, hiding and drinking secretly ...... using any excuse I could come up with to justify and reason if only to myself.
After waking one morning I looked in the mirror and I hated the person looking back at me andi knew it was time to take back control of my life - I decided enough was enough and I sought out help. For me that was dialling a drink aware helpline. The
last 16 months haven't been easy and I'm honest to say I have had two occasions within a week or so of each other where I gave in to drink (wrong time wrong place moments) but both times resulted in memory loss - you see it only took that first drink to crave the second and third and so on. And whilst my friends encouraged me to "enjoy myself" I knew deep down they were only saying that so I would drink and take the focus off them and their binge drinking behaviour and antics. I felt angry with myself, weak and ashamed but instead of wallowing in self pity I looked in that mirror again, I called on my counsellor/sponsor and found my inner strength again to regain control.
My advice to you would be to first speak to your doctor who will assess and advise and then consider attending AA or seek some other form of support if AA isn't for you.
Good luck on your journey, believe in and love yourself enough to find your inner strength to make that one change to become a much happier, healthier person x

"You don't have to drink anymore." That's the best thing I'd ever been told in my entire life. Think about that for a second........you don't have to drink anymore.

As soon as I admitted I'm an alcoholic, I immediately read the Doctor's Opinion in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and my life has gotten better day by day by day by day by day.........Perhaps you could do the same and see what happens?

You are a true inspiration. I wish I could say it was wine and got worse. I started with vodka than to jack Daniels and now it's tequila. I can put away a 40 in a night wake up and go to work feeling fine. Don't remember a damn thing but I thought I had fun. My husband drinks with me we both black out but I see a problem and it needs to stop.

Hello gypsyfeet,

Admitting that you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery. The way ahead can be challenging but you can also make it a lot easier by accepting help and by learning from people who have travelled the road before you.

One of the greatest enemies of the problem drinker is ignorance about the facts so a good starting point is to learn a bit about alcoholism. An alcoholic does not necessarily have to drink every day, at least, not until the condition progresses to the end stages and then, all bets are off. Alcoholism is often described as a two-fold illness, with part of the problem being in the mind and part in the body. The mental aspect is that the person becomes obsessed with drinking and will always find reasons to justify taking a drink. Someone who drinks every day probably has this mental obsession.

The second part of the alcoholic problem is that the body develops an abnormal reaction to alcohol, something that social drinkers do not have. The result of this change is that a small quantity of alcohol such as one drink sets off a craving in the body for more, and each additional drink makes the craving stronger. A person who drinks until they black out is probably trying to satisfy this physical craving.

The second step on the road to recovery is to move from admitting that there is a problem, to accepting it. This is where many alcoholics fall down as they are unwilling to accept the hard fact that they cannot now and will not in future be able to drink safely. Many will try every possible means of proving that they are different and can somehow handle their drinking but if they are alcoholics, they will always fail, without exception. The only safe option is not to drink at all.

If you decide that you are an alcoholic (and only you can make that call) then you have a simple choice but one that will have a profound effect on yourself and those around you. The first option is to continue to fight against alcoholism, and countless alcoholics down through the ages have proven that it is a battle that cannot be won. The usual outcome is insanity or death.

The second option is to do whatever it takes in order to get sober. This often involves getting outside help so there must be a willingness to dump the pride and make difficult decisions. The old way of doing things has to be changed and that can be challenging when your husband is your drinking partner. However, the good news is that you can break the grip that alcohol has on you and once you do that, you will experience a sense of freedom that is beyond anything you could imagine.

I wish you well on your journey. When I was where you are now, I could not do it on my own but once I went to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous, miracles started to happen.

Not sure how to deal, my husband came home with a bottle of tequila. He went and sat on the pour hand is getting drunk. He comes inside periodically to yell at me. He told me he will never forgive me for the cops coming to his house last night. I now know I have no support in my home. What do I do.

Im sorry for what you are going through. I am only one week sober (this time) My drink of choice was vodka because I could pour it in a water bottle and I could convince myself no one knew. My husband was also a drinker, fortunately for me he quit drinking. I dont have any great advice except I have a few questions, how long have you been married, do you have children, you said he was coming in to yell at you, do you all fight alot? or just when you are drinking? Is your marriage unhappy? If your having trouble in your marriage, drinking will only hurt it, but if he isnt willing to quit drinking too, and support your decision, you may have some tough decisions to make, Keep your chin up, you can do this, this site helps a lot. God bless

Together 5 years married 2. He has children from his first marriage we get them every other weekend. We didn't used to fight. It's started about 8 months ago which in assuming is when his affair started which I just found out about two weeks ago. We fight a lot now. Almost every day drunk or sober doesn't matter he's pushed me so far away I don't know if this is fixible but I know I'm not a good drunk and I don't want to be that person anymore. He doesn't think he has a problem. But I guess as an addict I was the last to know I had a problem.

Hello gypsyfeet,

As I see it, you are dealing with two very different issues and you may need to separate the two. There is obviously a problem with the marriage and it is not going to get magically better any time soon so maybe you will just have to struggle on with that for the moment. Your drinking is a separate issue that needs to be tackled right now, and once you have made progress on that, your head will be clearer and better able to sort out other matters.

It would be nice to have the support of your husband but getting sober is something that you can do with or without his backing. You need to do this for yourself and what other people do is irrelevant. I would strongly urge you to seek outside help as you will need guidance from people who know how to deal with the alcohol problem. Talk to your doctor by all means as you may be able to get access to professional help. However, you do not have to sit around waiting in the meantime as you can start on your journey to recovery right now by going to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous.

You will face some difficult tests along the way and each difficulty that you overcome will make you stronger. Turn a negative situation to your advantage by using your husband’s behaviour to make you more determined to succeed.

I remember the day my wife (now ex wife) came into the the house and I was past out on the couch. I was suppose to be watching dinner in the oven. There was smoke coming out of the oven that filled the house up. I nearly burned down my house from drinking. My wife kicked me out of the house right then and there but I wouldn't go exclaiming it was my house also so wife called the police. Long story short, I was given two choices, I could either go to jail or detox so I picked detox of course. So the cop personally escorted me down to the emergency room and that was the first day of the rest of my life!
After 4 days of detox, I went through a 3 week IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) where I learned alot about my disease. I also learned how not to use alcohol as a crutch anymore by learning better coping skills, plus I was treated for the underlying problems that triggered my addiction such as depression and ptsd. After the IOP, I attended 3 months of once a week relapse prevention group therapy where I learned what my triggers were and how to handle them.

Thoughout all the treatment I had regular attendance at AA meetings was mandatory. I got an AA sponsor who carefully guided me down the path to recovery through the 12 steps. This was over 9 years ago. Today I have a great life and I have never been happier.

God Bless