Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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First night out..

I'm going out tonight for my good friend's 30th birthday. It's only been a couple days since I decided to quit drinking and I probably should skip the party but I don't want to disappoint my friend. It's a BYOB so I figured if I don't bring anything I won't drink. Only problem is that they want to go to the bar after the party. I'm really going to try tonight. I promised my dad that I wouldn't drink. I'm going to try to keep that promise. I'm just afraid that I'm going to break that promise.. 

Replies

looney1
looney1

Good luck with tonight. You're probably stronger than you think. Prove to yourself you can have a good time without drinking. Maybe the bar afterwards might be a good time to go home instead?
Moondreamer1988
Moondreamer1988

Yeah, that was my plan. I told my friends that I would rather go home after the party. If I step into a bar I will be too tempted to drink.
PJ54
PJ54

Hello Moondreamer1988,

Be careful as being around alcohol so soon after quitting is extremely dangerous.

Don’t be tempted by the thought that one or two would do no harm or pressure from other people to take a drink. It is up to you of course but if it were me, I would skip the party.
bobinmaine
bobinmaine

You are probably at that party as I write this. Let us know how you were able to resist the temptation to drink so soon after quitting. I don't think I would be mentally strong enough to resist but I am hoping for the best for you.

God Bless
Bambie
Bambie

You can do it girl!!!

Finding an "excuse" to tell my friends why I wasn't sipping espresso martinis and dancing on tables in my usual fashion has been really hard. My reputation as the exciting, crazy party girl who could always liven up a party has definitely been hard to shake. The assumptions that I'm now either a "party-pooper", pregnant or letting down the group are still very much alive, but I'm actually, genuinely at peace with it now.

My friends didn't see the toxic dependence I formed. They didn't see that the bottles kept popping long after the party had stopped.

You only need to make yourself proud!

Good luck <3
looney1
looney1

Let us know how you went.
Moondreamer1988
Moondreamer1988

Ugh, guys, I'm such a failure.. I didn't last FIVE MINUTES! Originally I thought it was a BYOB but they bought two kegs of Coors Light. (My beer of choice) I was so nervous because I didn't know anyone and all eyes were on my friend and I so I immediately went to the bar and started drinking. I drank...so much. We took shots. I was talking with the bartenders. Then we went to the bar. The entire night was insane... I drank on my meds. I went home and collapsed. My mom found me. It's a long story but she made my dad drive over. It was just a wreck. Now everything is out in the open and my parents are upset/angry/concerned. All this because I chose to drink. :(
PJ54
PJ54

Hello Moondreamer1988,

What’s done is done and cannot be changed so no use in beating yourself up about it.

The insanity of alcoholism is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. The big question therefore is, are you going to learn from the experience or will you be posting about a similar incident sometime down the road.

The alcoholic national anthem, recited after a bad binge is: “I will never, ever do that again.” Then the memory of the pain, embarrassment, and humiliation fades and guess what happens next?

The only way I could break the cycle was with the help of AA.
freedom27
freedom27

Unfortunately, I could tell you had no chance and I'm sure others knew as well.....including you. You even wrote that I "probably shouldn't go." If you are an alcoholic like me, you went so you could drink not so you wouldn't disappoint your friend. News for ya, no one cares that much if we are there or not. You're going to keep drinking if you don't put sobriety above everything else...including friends and family. I've been sober for a while and still avoid alcohol b/c I'm an alcoholic and it will kill me. You've been sober a few days and go to a beer party? If you were a crack head early in sobriety would you go to a crack house if you were trying to stay off crack?
gr8tful2be
gr8tful2be

Read your post again. You set yourself up. Too many "buts". You told your friend you'd go, It's a BYOB, they'll all want to go to the bar after, and on and on. I started out "partying" and ended up alone with just the vodka bottle. Stick around and you'll read cautionary tales here. Sad but true.
Hugs, Dianna
Moondreamer1988
Moondreamer1988

You're all right.. :'(
judgefitness
judgefitness

My counsellors favourite saying ........ if you keep going to the hairdressers you'll eventually get your hair cut! If you keep putting yourself in these situations so early in your recovery then there's a high chance your going drink.
Forgive yourself and then accept that you can never drink again, it only takes us alcoholics one sip to set ourselves up on a collision course x
Moondreamer1988
Moondreamer1988

You're completely right. As the party approached, I changed my mind and said that I wouldn't drink at the party but I would drink at the bar since it would only really be open for two hours. I'm full of excuses. BUT of course, I drank so much at the party that two hours were enough to end my night completely smashed. My friends saw a side of me I've always kept hidden and they are supporting me through this process. I'm also looking into AA in my area, I just hope I have enough strength to show up because I am terrified.
irishwhiskey
irishwhiskey

Everyone is different. As an alcoholic, I stayed away from alcohol all together, including anyone who had been drinking for a LONG time. I’m 4 years sober and it was well worth it for me. If you’re trying not to drink, there’s no reason for you to go to a bar. I know it’s hard to skip events at bars or parties where there’s alcohol, but it’s a huge part of becoming sober. I skipped most holiday events for 3 years and as a new round of holidays approach, i’m still unsure if i’ll attend thanksgiving, Christmas etc. My sobriety is easily worth more than every single holiday party i’ve Ever had to miss. Most of the drinkers in my life would and will not leave alcohol be for even a single party in order to support my sobriety. Missing family events is hard, but like i said, for me it’s totally worth it. Also, you’re not a failure. Most alcoholics relapse many times before gaining any large amount of sobriety. I was in rehab 4 times, and relapsed many more times. The road to sobriety isn’t usually easy, but the journey is amazing and sobriety is a wonderful gift.
Moondreamer1988
Moondreamer1988

Wow four years is amazing. It gives me hope that I can do that too. I'm going to AA for the first time this Friday. I'm really nervous but I'm just going to try. I know that I have to stay away from any event or place that has alcohol because I will always be tempted. I realize that I have to completely change my lifestyle and it's terrifying. I've been doing this under the radar for so long that it's so hard to picture my life without going out and drinking. Already I'm thinking about holidays and family events. But I have to do what I can to stop.
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