I don't go to AA, never have, but that is just me. I do go to this website daily (sometimes more) and see a tharapist every week or every other week. You should do whatever works for you. I still crave a drink, but the cravings are less every day that I don't drink. I know my liver and health is more worth it than being up all night because I drank all day, having anxiety because i can't sleep, hungover from the day before and then needing another drink the next day then to do that same cycle all over again. I think I'll pass on the drinks.

I couldnt have done this BULL-BUTTER alone. The whole point is to learn to be the person we are not. The alchy is obsessed with death. the sober one is obsessed with life.

Go to that church that meets on wed. Get sober. I believe you can.

Good grief.
well its a disease of perception.
The wonderful thing about alcoholics is many or even most of us who are recovered, know that the only way we stay that way is through working with other alcoholics. Our "primary purpose" is to pass on the message to alcoholics who still suffer both inside and outside the rooms.
I would personally help you in any way that I can......
If you want to call that self rightousness, that's OK with me.
But just accept the help from somone...somewhere....because it really does get better and you really don't have to live the way you report to have been.

check into treatment center....

i goto outpatient counseling and most of not all the people there are mandated and dont want change, how is this going to help me?

There will be a day when powers greater than you will step in and do for you whay you cant do for yourself. Or yes, you will end up dead.
Believe me, if you think its your city, just move and there you will be just as miserable.

hey frankie, here's too ya mate...

really? well sorry to let you down but this city is no good for anyone and leaving is the best thing i can do for myself. so please stop with this highpower taking over garbage because i dont believe in that. stop being so high and mighty with your self rightous attitude because it is aggravating at best pal.

I feel your pain , as I too struggled for many years I hated being told what I should do. I have heard Alcoholics hate being told what to do we are rebellious it's our nature or we wouldn't continue to the point of killing ourselves . What helped me though was the fact I got sick and tired of not having serenity if I was willing to go to any length to get and stay sober it was only then I began a new life. The old one was shit it was a new one I needed I am grateful that I didn't have to die to get it I now have serenity and peace through working the steps of AA. You my friend would be amazed if you reach out to AA they will send someone with longterm sobriety right to you they will also go with you to a meeting they will Love YOU till you learn to love yourself, for me I am still a work in progress there is one thing I do not miss that is finding the empty vodka bottles around my home, as well as, hating myself for living such a worthless life now I am of service to others which I never thought would be possible I truly am comfortable in my own skin.
I will end with this page 148 out of "As Bill Sees It"
More than Comfort
When I'm feeling depressed, I repeat to myself staements such as these: "Fear no evil"... "This too, will pass".. "This experience can be turned to benifit."

These fragments of prayer bring far more comfort. They keep me on track of right accepttance; they break up my compulsive themes of guilt, depression, rebellion, and pride; and sometimes they endow me with courage to change the things I can, and the wisdome to know the difference.

Praying for you Sweet Sober Sister:) GOD BLESS XXOO

Believe it or not, most if not all of the words spoken here for you (yes, FOR YOU) come from experience. We once were a glum lot. We share our histories, and feelings that we once had, and that you are now having.

If you go to outpatient, why not hit a meeting on the way home? Try the online mtgs. If the meetings are too much for you, and seem self righteous, try and find one similar thing. Even if at first its that they have the same color walls as you, or the same color hair. Just listen. We are human, and we too, were there once, and still there. Now, if you wish to wallow in self pity, that is certainly your choice. Will it make YOU feel better? Realize that there are people who care. Otherwise we wouldn't spend time writing a long ass response.

Please - just for the next 24 don't drink.

Like others have posted before me, the Internet is a big, beautiful tool that can help someone, like yourself, who isn't ready to step out into society today.

Amazon.com has AA books that you can order. 'Living Sober' was recommended to me (only 88 pages) as a great starter book. Of course, 'Alcoholics Anonymous: The Big Book 4th Edition' is also a must for newcomers. (In fact, 1st timers at our AA group are often given this book by other members.) You can buy it on Amazon.com, too. (Again, the Internet can be a great help!)

Living or dying, giving up or trying are choices we have to make for ourselves. Don't you think you owe it to yourself to keep living and keep trying however you can today?

Please keep trying. I am only 44 days sober and I understand some of where you are coming from. For me, I chose to keep living and it's working. Two months ago, I would have said nothing was gonna stop me from drinking and soon I was gonna drink myself to death and that was just dandy. The ER and Rehab forced me to re-examine those beliefs. It saved my life.

Hang in there. You are worth saving, but you have to save yourself.

Well, don't get frustrated about the Site. I have the same struggle. Am Here for you, nikki

when i posted this i had 11 days clean now i have 31 days sober. i still am stuck with my fear of going to AA, still attending outpatient counseling. i feel as if i am letting people down because i am so scared i cant even call the local AA hotline, of course i have had some bad experiences with these meetings here in my city, that also plays a part in why i wont call. i am just afraid that these people in AA are going to try and control me, if i dont do what they say i will be ostracized out of those rooms. please understand when i tell you, this city is FULL of assholes who want to keep people down, sober or drunk that is the mentality of this place.

I know how you feel about going to your first meeting I felt the same way I would not go to my local shop with out a bottle of wine inside me. I was very lucky I rang AA and they put me intouch with someone in my area that came with me. The people their made me feel so welcome and wanted for the first time ever in my life I felt like people understood me and how I felt that I was not alone and this was a diseases that need treatment to get well. If you broke your leg you would go and get help.

Why don't you try Rational Recovery then? There are no meetings to attend so you won't have to face anyone. It works if you want to stop bad enough. Read the website and get the book.

as someone said change is hard, sometimes scary. sober lifestyle is amazing, i am coming up on 13 yaars this month and wouldnt give it up for anything. Please get involved with some good meetings, i am a christian so i go to celebrate recovery meetings also AA meetings. and myhigher power is God a real living God. this evil world we live in is difficult and change is very difficult sometimes, but i promise you that life will get better if you stick to a new life. Peace be with you. Dan Miller