Rich the cheerleading here won't save your life.

You taking direction and more importantly direction is going to save you from being killed by the disease.

But you want to do it your way. This is why, these posts are here every few weeks.

More importantly "action."

Rich -- Jeff is right. A person that really has finally had enough is ready to GET REAL HONEST.

I didn't tell my wife about my heaviest drinking and of course I couldn't tell our family/ marriage counselor, if I wasn't telling my own wife. This probably included at least 10-15 sessions over a period of a few years. I was wasting everybody's time and money and doing some BS dance where I was the only one that new the song. I was living a lie for at least 4 years as far as the extent of my heavy drinking was concerned which in turn affected every aspect of my life, my job and my relationships.

It's time to get REAL with this Jeff before the next lower floor on the elevator arrives (or worse). You can get off any time. It's up to you when you finally have had enough. I'm not sure you are there yet.

We're here for you and that also means if we are REALLY trying to help one another, to keep each other honest in a gentle but direct way.

No more "plans" or "lists" Start doing. The next post I want to see from you is what you have done. Not what you are planning to do.

Love ya brother -- now get to work! :)

Why am i reading about me? Rich....you are me. Its like reading my life story.

I tell myself every night i need to quit. Then i wake up. Then i have a drink and say only one.

The next thing i know is ??????

Oh yeah....i take a nap. Then its like i start tomorrow.

Its like the movie Groundhog. I keep repeating the same crap. Hoping that one day i wont.

I wish i could help but i am in the same boat as you.

The definition of insanity is continuing the cycle and expecting different results.

Gain some accountability. Enter treatment. Go to AA, or try another program that focuses on the root of drinking.

It's funny I now drive past the psychiatrist to get to my aa meeting. I look up and see the window I used to go and sit and talk about anything but the problem. It was expensive. Aa is only a dollar an hour! And I'm convinced only alcoholics can understand and help me
1is2many

Definitely the best treatment bang for the buck!

It takes alot to get sober and stay sober but I remember my outpatient counselor told me, "we can throw everything at you but the kitchen sink.....the rest is up to you!"

I think you should try something different. I went through a 3 week outpatient program and I had my choice of mornings noons or evenings so I took evenings so I could work while attending. After the IOP, my counselors told me I needed additional aftercare and they know because before I was admitted, during my intake, I was asked 3 hours worth of questions so they knew me better then I knew myself! So when the iop was over, I went into 3 weeks of relapse prevention, group counseling. This is where I learned what my triggers were and how to deal with them.

Throughout all of the treatment I had, AA meetings were mandatory. I got a sponser, stayed in touch with my sponser, and we became close friends. He helped me tremendously, especially in the beginning when my sobriety was still in a very fragile state.

So in summery, it took all of what I was exposed to to help keep me sober. The pieces of my recovery, came together like pieces of a puzzle that someone upstairs had to be manipulating because He knew exactly what I needed.

My only humble suggestion is to keep trying different things because sooner or later, something in your head will click, something will be the answer you've been looking for but you will have to put in the work to find that answer.

I remember when I had lost it all, I drove myself to the emergency room (drunk) and asked for help. The young doctor told me to go home because I was too drunk to be admitted so I drove myself home (drunk) and it took another month before I had lost everything that meant anything to me. My wife called the cops, and the cop offered me a way out. He said you have two choices, jail or detox so I chose detox but I told him they will not take me and he assured me that with a police escort to the ER, I would be admitted that day and he was right! That was the first day, of the rest of my life!

You know, we all volunteer our time and effort , come here every day, tell you our stories with the hope that just one person will stay sober for a significant length of time, hopefully eternity, so if you can't stay sober for your wife then stay sober for us! Then come back and tell us about it and it will help make us keep coming here.

God Bless!

Doug,

I respect your viewpoint. You are fortunate enough to have done some soul-searching and investigation into your drinking habits and you concluded you are not alcoholic. Thats's great!! What's even more awesome is that you went to AA, which helped you assess your spiritual condition and drinking.

As a big supporter of yours throughout your journey, as you reported it here, my friendship with you has not wavered. I have not challenged your assessment of yourself. I've congratulated you every step of the way. How could that be the work of someone in a cult?

I've heard hundreds of stories just like Rich. I lived it. Do OK for a days, weeks, maybe months and then I'd screw up. And my slip-ups weren't a few beers. They were blackout drunken stupors, where I was apologizing to my wife and saying all the things Rich says.

It wasn't until I surrendered, shared my story, that people grabbed me after my first meeting, gave me a big book, business cards and a phone list. They told me to kee coming back. That's what I did. Even the first six months I questioned whether or not I was alcoholic. Finally I grasped the program and it began to work for ME.

Rich needs some tough love. He needs someone to give him that wake up call. You think him admitting to his wife that he is a drunk is earth-shattering news? She's lived the hell. I believe he has a child. That child has lived the hell.

I've made up every excuse and done all the rationalizing to justify why this time I screwed up this time. The signs are incredibly easy to spot. What he's doing, or not doing is leading to continued failure.

If I lost 150 lbs and you were more idly obese, you wouldn't be calling my healthy eating and gym habits a cult. It is a solution. While I am obviously an advocate of AA, because it isn't residential treatment, it isn't expensive and it's simple, I always try to promote any other method as possible.

I don't want to see Rich die. I've seen his struggle over and over again. He wants kudos from everyone, and when he first began posting here, he admitted he didn't want to stop drinking. He just wanted to be out of the dog house.

The disease is progressive and I see it progressing in his posts. I care about Rich. He appears much sicker than you were. What did you do? You went to AA meetings. You enjoyed the fellowship. But you didn't like the big book or a higher power concept, or the belief in that system? It helped educate you and determine you were not alcoholic.

Rich keeps asking for help. I'll keep suggesting AA. It's $1 in and out messaging to keep you reminded on the dangers of alcohol. I'm hardly in a cult. I've never been to dinner with anyone from AA. I don't go to conventions. I found friends who were sick like me, who are now awesomely healthy. I did want what they had. They were cleaned up, laughing, driving nice cars.

What do you suggest Rich do? Painting didn't work. House chores didn't work. His tablet doesn't work. Sunny weather doesn't work. Snowy weather doesn't work. Screwing up and hurting his wife doesn't work.

How about trying something different? If I'm a main reason you are turned off from AA, I apologize. But you will live because you are not alcoholic. I will keep posting messages of support and encouragement to people here, because they thank me and tell me they need it.

They are desperate for help. I want to help any way I can.

Jeff, excellently put.

I am saying I would not tell me psychiatrist about my alcoholism. I will tell another alcoholic. I don't see any name calling and insults? What did I miss. why are you singling me out ?
1-2

[url]http://youtu.be/bT90D0GKZRM[/url]

Hey Rich, I can relate! The first 30 are hard, but then you start feeling good, and then that Alcoholic attitude kicks back in and we get cocky! The little asshole on my shoulder starts telling me how good I am doing, He says, "Pssst, TED, TEEEED! You can get drunk today and just quit again tomorrow!" Lmfao! Lying little bastard! Lol I'm looking back months later saying to myself, "You Dumbass, you fall for it every time, and it always turns out bad! The insanity of Alcoholism! Just keep getting up Rich, that's what I do. Never give up! Ted

the Freud in me wonders why you would say your not an alcoholic and yet have a severe aversion to AA. What does it matter if you don't have alcoholism... now if you did have the malady and had a problem then I would be fine with that! Just says a lot to me! Time to get honest , cheers!
1-2

Time to stop having a pissing match on someone else's thread ONCE AGAIN about the merits of AA. CHEERS!!

Btw, 1-2 if you're arguing with Buddha still, I believe he exited stage left a few days ago. As in, closed his account. Just sayin.....