Why did Mrs. Crow have such a huge phone bill?
She made too many long distance caws.

Bird Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4825220

"How does the phone cord get so tangled? All I do is talk, and hang up. I don't pick it up and do a cartwheel and a somersault."

-Larry Miller

Housekeeping Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7718642

Telepathy: A disease caused by talking too much on telephones.

Definition Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5001707

"Information. Can I help you?"
"I'd like the telephone number of the Theater Guild, please."
"One moment, please...I'm sorry, sir, I have no listing for Theodore Guild."
"No, no, it isn't a person. It's an organization. It's 'Theater Guild'."
"I told you, sir, I have no listing for a Thedore Guild."
"Not Theodore! Theater! The word is theater! T-h-e-a-t-e-r!"
"That, sir, is not the way Theodore is spelled."

Theater And Thespian Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/10493402

Who was Alexander Graham Bell Pulaski?
The first telephone Pole.

More 'Puns' to come!

Fun Fact: There are hundreds of millions of telephones in the world, so when you dial a number right in two tries, you aren't doing badly at all.

Math Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4216097

"Mr. Watson, come here. I want you!"

-Alexander Graham Bell (speaking to his assistant, Thomas Watson, in the world's first telephone call, made on 10 March 1876).

History Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8034117

How do elephants talk to each other?
On 'elephones!

Elephant Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4979106

How far do you have to stand from a telephone to make a long-distance call?

The first telephone conversation was only eighteen feet apart - it was a close call.

'Tele' means 'distance' and 'phonos' means 'sound' in Greek, thus we have 'telephone' in our language today, frequently shortened to the one-syllable 'phone'.

"If I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?"

-James Thurber

One-Liner And Quotation Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6795267

The first bathtub came in 1850. The telephone wasn't invented until 1876. A lucky gal or guy could have spent twenty-six years in the bathtub without the telephone ringing once!

The next time you try to call someone and their answering machine or voice mail greets you and asks you to leave a message, have a little fun with them. For example, say, "Hello? Hello? Hello?! Is anybody there? I'm trapped inside your phone. It's cold and dark here, and I'm hungry and scared. I've got to get out of here. Please, please, help me!"

Mrs. Rogers picked up the phone to hear an anguished voice on the other end of the line saying, "Ma, this has been the worst day of my life. I'm going crazy. The kids are all sick and home from school. I haven't a thing in the house. I have a doctor's appointment. I'm going out of my mind!" "I'll come over," Mrs. Rogers said, "but I don't know why Robert can't take care of the kids." "Who's Robert?" "Your husband." "My husband's name is William." "You must have the wrong number." "Oh...does this mean you're not coming over?"

Family And Home Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/9302132